About 10 days ago I mentioned moving into a new place and people asked if I had a job. Not really. I got my old job back for 15 days--work days that we spread over like a month. So I've still been looking for a "real" job and mostly running into brick walls.
The biggest annoyance was last Thursday morning. The previous Friday I'd found a message in my yahoo Spam folder from someone who wanted to discuss a job. So I contacted the guy, but as I did I started to get the vibe that something wasn't on the level. Like how he wouldn't tell me the actual name of where I was supposed to be interviewing. Maybe I could have found out from a Google search of the address or something.
Anyway, he tells me that it's at 8:30 and to be there early, so I get there at like 8:15. I get to the suite number and see it's some life insurance sales place. Cue the Price is Right sad trombone! Because I knew it wasn't really a job interview. It was one of those seminar type deals where they tell you how many millions of dollars you can make selling life insurance. Ha, yeah right. If the guy who had contacted me had told me the name of the place or the real job title instead of the euphemistic "Member Benefits Representative" then I wouldn't have even bothered going. But I did go because what the hell I was there.
The funny part is as they made their pitch, I realized I had actually had one of their people in my home before! The way their system (scam) works is they get unions like the one I belonged to to send out fliers saying, "Hey, want $1000 of free life insurance? Fill out this card!" So one time I did fill out the card, because what the hell, it's free right? Well then I started getting calls from this guy from the insurance company who just had to show up in person for me to sign stuff. We couldn't do it through the mail or anything right? Well of course the reason for that is after you sign for your free insurance they try to sell you a bunch of add-ons. When I refused the guy got mean-spirited and basically said I should buy some insurance before I was too fat for anyone to cover me.
So yeah that's the company that was going to make me a millionaire--if only I worked hard enough! What really sucked is because this jerk told me to get there before 8:30 I didn't get any breakfast on the way and they didn't have anything there. They couldn't have some bagels or donuts or muffins or something? They didn't start their stupid pitch until like 9am and it wasn't getting over until after 10:15 (or that's when I walked out) so by the time I got back to my car and stuff I couldn't even go to McDonald's or something. Although I did get brunch at a coney island a little later. Still, that seems like the least those assholes could do if they're going to waste my time.
It was funny they start off by saying they've never laid anyone off. Only much later they subtly say that if you don't earn $60,000 in commissions per year you get fired. So yeah, they don't "lay off" people. They also couldn't ever bring themselves to say "commission." I guess that's like saying "Benefits Representative" instead of "Salesman."
Anyway, I high-tailed it when they decided that after over an hour we should all go around the room introducing ourselves like an AA meeting. Who am I? I'm leaving. I should have done it the second I saw the place.
Not that it's a total scam. I mean I'm sure some people do get rich selling life insurance. It's just I won't be one of those people.
Later in the day I got an email from someone who had seen my resume on Indeed and thought I'd be perfect to manage the branch of their crane business. Um, what? I don't know anything about cranes or construction equipment in general. I haven't managed anyone since Junior Achievement in the early 90s. I haven't worked in the customer service industry since Burger King in the late 90s. So really on what do you think I'd be a great fit for that position? Because I live in the area and have a business degree?
I can't tell you how many times I've had an interview and they ask, "Do you know Quickbooks [or ADP]?" And I say, No and they're like, "Oh, well we need someone who does." The thing about that is I have a section of my resume saying what computer programs I know and Quickbooks and ADP ain't on there! So really, why do you waste my time?
That's been the problem. So much of the process just feels like a big waste of time. Temp agencies with jobs for everyone except me, jerks who don't seem to read resumes before contacting me, other jerks who don't return my phone calls even though they told me to call, and of course those who contact me about jobs I am grossly unqualified for. It makes me wish I could make enough money with writing that I wouldn't have to worry about this crap.
Anyway, I just needed to rant about that.