On Twitter one day there was a Tweet about something all too common, and I would have favorited it or something but I didn't and now I can't find it because Twitter and Facebook algorithms make finding stuff all but impossible sometimes. Anyway, a woman who works for the horror magazine Fangoria was wearing a T-shirt for the magazine. Then a guy comes up and starts questioning whether she knows what that magazine is and goes into the whole "women can't get horror movies" despite that it's 2022 and women have starred in horror movies, written horror movies, and directed horror movies. But work for a horror magazine? Nope, inconceivable!
Unfortunately the woman's story is pretty common so it didn't stick with me as much as it should. Another person's comment, though, really stuck in my brain. That was that this guy really missed a chance to have a good conversation and learn something because he was such an asshole. By going straight into judging the woman and mansplaining and generally being a dick, he lost the opportunity to actually have an interesting discussion with someone who maybe has a pretty cool job.
That's a problem with misogyny and racism and discrimination in all its other forms in general: it robs you of the chance to really broaden your knowledge about the world and just to have some cool experiences. Approaching someone hostilely just because of their gender or skin color or religion takes away the chance for anything good to happen before you even open your mouth.
And really you could also include objectifying women. I mean if you're a guy and you see a cute girl and instantly start throwing out lame pickup lines, it doesn't give you a chance to actually talk to her. More than likely she'll get annoyed by your lame advances and it'll spoil her evening. Instead of going right into horn dog mode, maybe try acting like she's a human being. Once you know her a little better, then maybe she won't mind you being a horn dog.
In the example above, if the man had gone in with an open mind and just said, "That's a cool shirt." Then the woman might have said, "Yeah, I work for Fangoria." And the guy could have said, "Really, that's awesome!" And then they could have had a pleasant discussion about horror movies and books and whatever. Instead of it being a hostile encounter that ends up with a lot of hurt feelings and outrage.
On Facebook, the Chive posted someone's Instagram story from 4 years ago. It's about a black guy and his son who invite a lonely old white guy to sit with them during March Madness:
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I think you can see the difference between this story and the other one. When you approach people with kindness instead of hostility, the result is much better. You get more flies or bees or whatever with honey and all that.
There was another similar story recently when racist "fans" took to social media to attack Moses Ingram playing Inquisitor Reva in Obi-Wan Kenobi. It's really stupid, not just because of the obvious racism but because her casting was probably announced a year or more ago and the show is already in the can, so why bother attacking her now? What good can come of it? All I can think is it's to get attention and so the next time they're casting a Star Wars show maybe they'll have all white people. [eye roll] It got to the point where star and executive producer Ewan McGregor had to record a message to basically tell "fans" to STFU. And like with that first example, it really distracts from what could have simply been nice conversations about a TV show. Instead we had to twist it into something awful and ugly like Darth Vader when he's not in the armor. Why is this the world we live in? Why can't we just live and let live instead of trying to control people all the time?
Really as writers we should try to approach people with an open mind because learning about people helps to make better characters and give you more ideas for stories. It's something we should do online as well as in person, not just attacking someone because they're a woman or black or Muslim or a Trump supporter.
After all, what's so funny about peace, love, and understanding?
1 comment:
One place I see that has a lot of attacking is Facebook. I think it's easy for people to sit behind a keyboard and attack others. In this way, they reveal their true thoughts, but most would never do so in person. It's hard to believe in our time that someone would find it impossible for a woman works for a horror magazine. This someone needs to get out more.
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