Friday, November 30, 2018

Bot Picks 14: Sims I Like: White Trash Bimbo

From September 2, 2016:

I have two Transformed Into a Bimbo books, but the bimbo I created for this entry was designed for Gender Swapped By Aliens, a goofy story I wrote with my other alias.  As you might guess, there are aliens and they gender swap a guy.  Their way to "invade" is to warp reality so that the whole planet thinks the aliens have always been their masters.  Except there's one guy who does still remember and so they keep warping his reality in the hope he'll finally forget.

At one point he becomes a bimbo secretary to a real jerk of a boss.  Since the guy used to be a shrink it was kind of a role-reversal thing besides gender swapping.


I thought this hairstyle was pretty neat for the character; it makes me think of a go-go dancer or something.  She has a really good white trash look with the tube top tied at the side and the Daisy Dukes.  The prominent crucifix is kind of ironic too, isn't it?

Wednesday, November 28, 2018

Bot Picks 15: Sims I Like: Anime Babe

From October 14, 2016:
In the forthcoming Transformed for Halloween 3, three frat brothers are haunted by the spirit of the girl they left to die a year earlier.  Each one becomes their sexual fantasy and is then murdered, sort of Nightmare on Elm Street-style.  A nerd named Melvin's fantasy is the star of a Japanese anime series that's loosely based on Sailor Moon.



The top is a Sailor Moon top I downloaded, as are the boots and skirt.  The hair was probably from a different anime show, but whatever.  I thought the purple would be fun for the hair.  I tried to make the eyes as big and round as possible, but they aren't exactly like anime characters.  And here's just a funny pose I captured:

Monday, November 26, 2018

Bot Picks 16: On the Twelfth Day of Indie Bookmas...Christmas on the Corner by Andrew Leon

From Christmas Day 2016:

Christmas is the time to bury the hatchet and make peace and whatnot, so for the twelfth day of Indie Bookmas it's that indie book Scrooge, Andrew Leon
https://www.amazon.com/Christmas-Corner-Andrew-Leon-ebook/dp/B00AKC9356/

It's been a hard adjustment for the Howard children, moving to Louisiana. Finding out that one of them is the Guardian, one of them is a wizard, and that one of them... is angry, because he doesn't posses the same talents and gifts as his siblings. In revenge, he tells his sister that there is no Santa Claus, but in a house where anything you can imagine can become real, it turns out to have unexpected results.

Buy it for $2.99 on Amazon or FREE with Kindle Unlimited! 

By the way, here was my XMas Playlist this year on Netflix, Amazon, HBO, and DVD:

  • All I Want for Christmas (1991)
  • A Muppet Christmas Carol
  • Ernest Saves Christmas
  • The Santa Clause
  • Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (MST3K version)
  • The Ref
  • Home Alone
  • Home Alone 2
  • Miracle on 34th Street (1995)
  • Christmas Vacation
  • Hogfather
  • Bad Santa
  • A Christmas Story
And I also watched XMas specials for:
  • American Dad
  • Futurama
  • Bojack Horseman
  • It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
  • Supermansion
  • Robot Chicken
  • Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
  • How the Grinch Stole Christmas
  • Rick Steves' Christmas in Europe



Friday, November 23, 2018

Bot Picks 17: The Blog Year in Review

From December 26, 2016:  (Consider it a partial sneak peek of what's to come):

Here's a curious fact:  Before August 10 I only had 2 posts this year with 100 or more views.  Since then every post through November 23rd had more than 100 views, with some having more than 300.  And yet there was no increase in comments, so can I assume it was search bots finding my blog posts?

Here are the posts the bots liked most in reverse order:

The weird thing is they're all clustered together from September 26th through October 14th with the "Goliath" entry as an outlier on October 24th.

Make of that what you will.  Happy 2017, y'all!  (Will it be worse than 2016?  Probably.)

Wednesday, November 21, 2018

Bot Picks 18: A New Year, A Brand New Attitude! (Or Not) 💩💩💩💩

From January 2, 2017 (How long did I stick with this?)

The dumpster fire that was 2016 is over.  Time to light fire to a whole new dumpster!  Most likely with Drumpf at the wheel that dumpster will end up being destroyed in a nuclear holocaust.  So, let's eat, drink, and be merry for tomorrow we could (and probably will) die!

I mean I could spend the next 4 years (or however long until WWIII with China disintegrates us all) picking on Drumpf and the evil Republican regime that's determined to kill many of the people who voted for them, but what's the point?  No one cares.  Especially not right now.  It's still the honeymoon phase.  Eventually the dupes will realize that he's not going to deliver on his crazy promises.

So instead of railing on about that, let's have some fun.  I always liked the Comic Book Challenge I ran back in 2012, but sadly even though I was offering money to the winners, people only grudgingly participated.  Still, I'm not going to be deterred.  I'm going to start a whole new trivia challenge on an even more obscure subject:  my books!

Because this blog is supposed to help sell books, remember?  So here's your new blogging schedule:

Monday:  I'll ask the weekly question relating to one of my books.  Since you probably haven't read that book--though of course you could always go and buy those books to study up--the questions will be multiple choice or true and false, something to give you a fighting chance.

Wednesday:  I'll reveal the answer.  Provided more than one person actually answers the questions, I'll total up the scores.  Let's say the first person gets 5 points, the second gets 3, and the third gets 1 point.

At the end of the year whoever has the most points will win...something.  Probably a gift card for $20 or so.  And there'll probably be something for second and third place--if applicable.

Friday:  I'm going to keep doing weekly reviews:  for me, not so much for you.

The contest starts next week, so you have time to buy some books and bone up.  Not that you will.

Monday, November 19, 2018

Bot Picks 19: On the Tenth Day of Indie Bookmas...War Angel by Rusty Carl

From December 23, 2016:

On the Tenth Day of Indie Bookmas...it's my favorite cover illustrator, Rusty Carl (formerly Rusty Webb)
https://www.amazon.com/War-Angel-Rusty-Carl-ebook/dp/B009H6S9TC

Engel Johnson discovers that his Grandmother has been hiding a secret since the final days of World War II. His visit to her death bed reveals that she she witnessed some of the most horrifying moments of the 20th century first hand.

And that she's been keeping a secret for more than 65 years.

This novelette set both in the present day and in waning days of the second World War shows how great forces disrupted the life of one family for generations.

Get it for 99 cents or FREE with Kindle Unlimited!

Friday, November 16, 2018

Bot Picks 20: On the Eleventh Day of Indie Bookmas...Miss Simon's Moxie by Tony Laplume

From December 24, 2016:

On the Eleventh Day of Indie Bookmas...it's my frenemy, Tony Laplume!
https://www.amazon.com/Miss-Simons-Moxie-Americana-Trilogy/dp/1534699929

Agnes Butterfield has developed amnesia and ended up lost in the mean streets of suburban Washington, D.C. This is bad, because she’s President of the United States. What follows is a madcap adventure involving bumbling kidnappers, homeless writers, a professional wrestler, and several other hapless individuals, in a story told by the indomitable Miss Simon to her most important audience ever: Tim Laflamme.

Get it for $4.99 on Kindle or $7.00 in paperback!

Wednesday, November 14, 2018

Bot Picks 21: Grumpy Bulldog vs. the National Football League

From November 18, 2016:

It's been a heavy week so let's end on a light note!  Also I haven't watched new stuff so I'm not doing a "Stuff I Watched" this week.  Mostly I've been watching stuff already watched but got on DVD recently including both Ghost Rider movies for $6 at a KMart Going Out of Business Sale.  Did I get ripped off?  I don't know, I consider them in that middling part of the superhero movie pack along with Green Lantern, Daredevil, and most of the X-Men movies.

Anyway...the NFL (or National Football League as idiot announcers like to remind us 40 times a game) has seen ratings decline.  Is it because of the election?  Because of players protesting the national anthem?  Me, I think in part it's because the game has gotten to be so shitty to watch.  People complain that baseball is slow but every football game is 3-4 hours between commercials, injuries, and plays being reviewed and the stuff between all that often isn't great.  So here are some suggestions to fix things:

  1. This comes from the Tuesday Morning Quarterback column that used to be on ESPN:  eliminate DirecTV's monopoly on Sunday Ticket.  That's the satellite package where you can see most every NFL game instead of the ones on your local airwaves.  That would allow cable subscribers to get the package and watch more games.
  2. Along with that, give more people access to the "Redzone Channel" where you can see scoring plays.  That's a big thing for fantasy football so the more people who have that the better
  3. Thursday football should be reserved for Thanksgiving only.  The Thursday Night Football games are usually a dumpster fire with bad matchups and crappy "Color Rush" uniforms.  (BTW, attention Packers, white is not a "color" really.)
  4. Just have 1 London game if you must.  Having one football game on at 9:30am is neat but when you do it 3 or 4 weeks in a row it starts to get lame. And why has it always been London?  Why not some of the other former NFL Europe cities?  Though Amsterdam might have too many players failing drug tests. Zing!
  5. End tippy-tappy penalties.  Stop killing scoring drives with "holding" penalties that cost 10 yards and 90% of the time stop a drive dead.  Either dial it down to 5 yards or say fuck it and let them hold all they want.  As well, end "block in the back" penalties on kickoffs that take away great returns.
  6. Simplify Catches.  Use the college rule that only one foot has to be down and enough of this "process of the catch" bullshit where a receiver has to catch the ball, fall down, get up, and do a fucking tap dance without juggling the ball.  No one likes sitting around debating what is or isn't a catch for five minutes.
  7. Speed up reviews!  This crap of waiting 5 minutes to review the spot of the ball is so ridiculous.  Lower the number of challengeable plays and get those replays in there faster so we don't have to wait forever.
  8. Go full college OT.  A few years ago the National Football League changed overtime from sudden death to a half-baked system where if the first team who gets the ball gets a touchdown they win, but otherwise the other team gets the ball.  Just use the more exciting college system where each team gets the ball on the 20 and try to outscore each other.
  9. For NBC only:  stop with the stupid player introductions.  We got bored of this on Monday Night Football years ago and there was no need to transfer it to Sunday Night except maybe Al Michaels is too lazy to read names.  Sorry, players, but we've heard every variation of your jokey introductions:  using high schools, junior highs, elementary schools, or made-up schools like "The school of hard knocks" and we're sick of hearing THE Ohio State and THE U.  It's especially sad for 30-something players to brag about where they went to college.  You got a stupid college ring to show while you're at it?
  10. Let some fun in, but not too much.  I was as sick of Terrell Owens and Randy Moss, etc.'s inane touchdown celebrations in the 2000s as everyone else, but as usual the NFL took things too far by fining players for wearing different-colored socks or refusing to let Antonio Bryant wear shoes with Muhammad Ali on them.  Hidden Sharpies and mooning crowds are bad but no one cares what socks the players wear.
  11. Speaking of, stop letting Commissioner Roger Goodell be judge, jury, and executioner.  The punishment system of the NFL is a joke.  A kicker gets suspended 1 game for beating his wife but smoking a joint gets you a 4-game ban?  2014 was a dumpster fire of a season for NFL punishment as Ray Rice and Adrian Peterson were suspended for abusing a girlfriend and child respectively only AFTER the word of the crimes got out to the press.  Goodell should have lost all power then, but for some reason he's still calling the shots and the system is as inconsistent as ever.
  12. This is cruel but:  get injured players off the goddamned field!  I know it sounds mean and it risks legal action to do but look the NFL is in part like NASCAR:  people come to watch the wrecks as much as the race.  Let's not pretend like we really give a shit when some poor guy goes down on the field.  Sure we all gasp and applaud when he's carried away, but then guess what?  We applaud the next bone-crushing hit.  Football is a gladiator sport only the bodies are weapons.  Let's stop pretending we're worried about their collected health and just keep the game going.  Are you not entertained!?  And especially if the dude just has a fucking cramp or something wimpy, push him to the sideline and keep going!
  13. Stop "freezing" kickers.  One of the lamest things coaches started doing in the 2000s is calling a timeout right before a kicker would kick a field goal at the end of the game or half.  Much of the time they would wait until just before the ball was snapped so the kicker would get a practice kick.  To me it's as lame as the dude who goes on The Price is Right, sees the highest bid is $900 and bids $901 just to be a dick.  Make it so you have to call the time out by the time players are set instead of when the ball is hiked so we have less fake kicks.  And it would eliminate those ironic moments when a coach "freezes" a kicker who misses the first time and nails the second attempt.

Those are just some ideas, some good and some maybe less good.  The idea is speed things up and eliminate some of the bullshit that makes watching a football game such a chore.

Monday, November 12, 2018

Bot Picks 22: Comics I Read, Mostly Featuring Transformers and Dr. Strange Because They Were On Sale

From January 6, 2017:

Happy Epiphany!  At least that's what it is in some religions in parts of the world.  The whole "12 Days of Christmas" thing is supposed to be between Christmas and Epiphany.  Still don't know who wants all those birds and servants and musicians.

Anyway, I've mostly watched Christmas stuff recently so I thought I'd instead review some comics that I bought over the holiday season.

Transformers:  Dark Cybertron:  IDW's Transformers series tries to mesh together pretty much all the non-Michael Bay incarnations of Transformers, including Beast Wars characters.  It can be kind of confusing.  And especially because a lot has happened in the series up to this point.  Starscream is heading a unified government on Cybertron, until Shockwave (who is kind of like a Star Trek Vulcan, all logic and no emotions) launches an elaborate scheme to take over the planet and the universe.  There are a lot of moving parts with things happening on Cybertron, in deep space, and in the "dead universe" which is some kind of netherworld dimension.  I enjoyed it even though I didn't really understand all that happened up to that point. (3/5)

Transformers:  Combiner Wars:  The series eventually continued with the relaunch of combiner teams.  They were Hasbro's answer to Voltron where five mini robots formed one super robot.  The evil Menasor is let loose on a Cybertronian colony and then the heroic Superion is sent to fight him.  But then there are more combiners introduced (reintroduced) like Devastator, Defensor, Bruticus, and Optimus Maximus, which was something that would have been neat in the old series since it features Optimus Prime and four other Autobots.  Like the other it was fun even if I didn't get all the background. (3/5)

Dr. Strange Masterworks Volume 1:  This is the original Dr. Strange series featured in Strange Tales back in the early 60s, written by Stan "the Man" Lee.  Like Spider-Man it started as a backup feature with the Human Torch carrying the main title for a while and then Nick Fury, Agent of SHIELD.  Those parts are not included so you just get the 8 page stories of Dr. Strange.  Somehow they became popular despite that they were pretty corny.  The writing was pretty lame.  Everyone uses exclamation points!  All the time!  It gets annoying!  Most of the stories are Dr. Strange fighting his nemesis Baron Mordo, Nightmare, or Dorammadu.  It didn't really pick up until the last six issues or so where there's a continuous story of Mordo and Dorammadu teaming up and Strange going on the run.  Still, it's really hard to imagine how this launched a title popular enough to get a big movie made. (2/5)

Dr. Strange:  The Oath:  This 2012 version written by Brian K Vaughn has an almost noirish feel as Dr. Strange is shot by a burglar armed with Hitler's suicide gun, a weapon so evil it could penetrate Strange's magical defenses.  Saved by the "Night Nurse" (you might have seen her on Daredevil, Luke Cage, and Jessica Jones on Netflix) Strange, his servant Wong, and the nurse go on the trail of the killer.  It soon leads them to a pharmaceutical company and a cure for any disease known to man.  It was fun without seeming generically so.  Strange has kind of a stuffy know-it-all quality that conflicts perfectly with the more down-to-earth Night Nurse with Wong as the intermediary between them.  The story of evil Big Pharma also is pretty relevant to our times. (4/5)

Dr. Strange:  The Way of the Weird:  I think this was the latest relaunch of the title, but with Marvel who can tell anymore?  Dr. Strange faces a threat outside our dimension as some outside force called the Inquisition is tracking down and killing magic users.  This is making magic harder to use and eventually the war is going to end up on Strange's doorstep.  This story is largely a copy of "Spider-Verse" where an evil family was hunting and killing all the Spider-Men (and Women) from other dimensions.  The writing wasn't bad but it just felt generic with the bland, wise-cracking hero.  Pick up pretty much any other Marvel title from 2015 and it'll feel exactly the same.  I suppose being bought by Disney has led to this homogeneous feel. (2.5/5)

Dr. Strange & Dr. Doom:  Triumph & Torment:  This graphic novel from the 80s or something pairs up Dr. Strange and Dr. Doom.  A wizard has a challenge to see who will be the Sorcerer Supreme of Earth.  Dr. Doom shows up because he has some magic ability.  Of course Dr. Strange wins but Doom asks him a boon that he can't refuse.  That boon is to go to Hell and rescue the soul of Doom's mother.  So they go to Hell and fight Mephisto who is the Marvel Universe's Lucifer or whatever.  The hell part wasn't as epic as it could have been but the end was good.  To pad the book's length they add a couple of random Dr. Strange, Dr. Doom, and Sub-Mariner comics that tangentially apply to this, the Sub-Mariner ones mostly because they're drawn by the same artist, Mike Mignolo, who gained recognition for his Hellboy series.  That was kind of lame but oh well. (3/5)

Justice League 3001, Vol 1:  Sometime during the New 52 DC started Justice League 3000, which was kind of like Futurama--with superheroes!  Cloned versions of Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman, etc are created to save the universe from "the five" that's like the evil Empire or whatever.  The clones are imperfect, though, without all the memories of the originals and in Superman's case he can't fly or use heat vision.  Anyway, 3001 obviously picks up a couple of months later.  The head of the League has been possessed by an evil Lois Lane who sends them on dangerous missions hoping they'll die.  Meanwhile a gender-swapped Guy Gardner Green Lantern joins the team, in case you thought I was the only one to do that sort of thing.  It's pretty fun but confusing.  For one I didn't read the first year of issues and for another there are a lot of loose threads.  I want to read the second (and I think final) volume to see how much gets resolved.  This volume has a killer ending (pun intended) where Superman literally loses his head.  I'd worry about spoilers if I thought anyone who reads this would ever bother to read it. (3/5)

Amazing Spider-Man, Worldwide, Vol 2:  Peter Parker's globe-trotting adventures continue.  In this volume he battles Mr. Negative in China and then Scorpio in Paris/England.   It's a good continuation of Slott's Spider-Man that has been going for over a decade.  (3/5)

Friday, November 9, 2018

Bot Picks 23: The Monetary Economy is Doomed

From November 28, 2016:

Before the election I talked about how all those good factory jobs from the 50s-70s aren't likely to come back.  But that's only one threat to the working class.  In the next 20-50 years even low-class jobs are going to be hard to come by thanks to the seeds of destruction already planted and rooted in modern technology.

Back when I was a kid, when we went to the grocery store, all the cash registers were manned by people.  When you wanted to return cans and bottles for the dime deposit, you had to have an employee count them and give you a receipt.

That started changing in the 90s when U-Scan lines began being installed and recycling machines replaced the human at the counter.

The scanning technology is spreading to restaurants now.  At Chili's there's a computer on tables so you don't need to order from a waitress.  At some Panera Breads there are kiosks you can order from and get your food delivered to your table or left on a counter for you to grab.  I think some McDonald's restaurants have also been experimenting with this.  Which means that not even low-income jobs like fast food will be safe before long.

Amazon and pizza places are testing drone delivery, which threatens parcel and pizza delivery jobs.  In Nevada they have tested self-driving semi-trucks.  That could eventually replace truck drivers.

This is just the tip of the iceberg with advancements in robotics and AI.  So really not only are those blue-collar factory jobs not coming back, the subsistence jobs many people have taken to replace them are going to disappear as well.  To make it worse, the population is growing and people are living and working longer.

That means that our whole economy is facing an inevitable collapse.  Short of euthanizing hundreds of millions of people or shooting off an EMP that sends technology back to the Middle Ages, what can we do?

Black Friday and Cyber Monday are good reminders that what drives most of our economy is conspicuous consumption.  It's buying those TVs, video game systems, toys, and so forth that keeps manufacturers in business and employing people.  Yet as we've already started to see when manufacturers move overseas, then less of that money is going to help American people.  Eventually you get an imbalance when the people supposed to buy the products no longer can afford to.

Adding to this is the greedy 1% and their new government (the kleptocracy as Offutt and others have called it) stuffing their pockets with cash.  They give us that crap about trickle-down economics, but the problem is the 1% already have so much cash just sitting around not doing anything and yet we're going to give them even more to just sit around in investment accounts or private hoards.  They don't seem to know or care that the more they squeeze the 99%, the quicker the monetary economy reaches the breaking point.  The irony is most of their "wealth" will then be worthless because most of it isn't backed by anything tangible.

Already there are signs of trouble on the horizon.  Chains like Ruby Tuesday have reported decreased earnings in recent years.  Why?  Because people can't afford to eat there very often, if ever.  One department store chain after another is either shuttering its doors or on the brink; Sears and its KMart subsidiary will be in bankruptcy before much longer after more than a century of business.  Why?  Because people don't have money to throw away at Sears; it's cheaper and easier to buy from Wal-Mart and Amazon.

To solve the problem, Americans are finally going to have to stop seeing socialism as something evil and embrace it.  Eventually we're going to reach the point where there simply aren't enough jobs thanks to advancements in technology and global competition.  Either we can embrace socialism or just devolve into a class war.

A few years ago I read one of those old sci-fi books that got turned into a movie in the 70s like Make Room, Make Room (ie, Soylent Green) and in it the government basically had to give people a stipend to sit around and watch TV and stuff because there was nothing else for them to do.  That's what we will inevitably have to do.  Maybe after experimenting with backwards authoritarianism we'll finally have the wake-up call that the old ways simply aren't going to work going forward.

If you want to think it's all bad, just think about Star Trek.  When people are freed from the monetary economy, they're free to pursue their real interests.  All my writer friends, how great would it be to not have to worry about going to a job and just write books?  When I was unemployed for most of 18 months, I didn't really miss the commute and grind of going to work; I just missed the money to pay for stuff.  Imagine if we didn't have to worry about that anymore?  And I could stop writing gender swap stories (mostly) and maybe try to find something more literary to write about.

The problem though is most people if they have no job to go to will simply sit around watching TV or something useless like that.  So obviously it wouldn't be all sunshine and roses like Gene Roddenberry envisioned.  Still, even now I think we have to believe in people and that given the chance people would eventually turn off the boob tube and find something more enlightening to do.

One thing is certain:  it's going to get worse before it gets better for most of us.

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