Yup, These Are My Readers

Since so few people actually write reviews, I suppose I shouldn't complain when someone does write a review.  Especially since they're 4-star reviews, not 1 star.  Still, these reviews are kind of weird.  Not just the bad grammar, but how this person often seems to rewrite the story in his/her reviews.

The first one I noticed was with Private Dick, which was in another entry.

Anyway, here was one for Private Dick that is 4 stars:

 Dick Larson was a hard boiled detective in 1930s of California was difficult enough, but things happen that is unknown enter Dixie Larson, who took over the the agency for the last few months, a woman who is a bit on androgynous looking girl, she not a ravaging beauty, but girl a who holds secrets. One night a pretty girl wearing oversized men's clothes enter the agency. She claims that she the man heir to oil fortune. Most wouldn't believe it. But Dixie did. Why or how come, strange that the cause that lead to more mystery that what happened.

The issue is mostly this line: a woman who is a bit on androgynous looking girl.  That's not true!  At the start of book 1, Dixie is a super-hot blonde with huge breasts.  The idea was to do a bit of role reversal where the Bogart-esque private eye becomes the bombshell femme fatale.  A couple of times it's mentioned she looks like Greta Garbo--this being about 1938 and all.  There is a twist in that while the visible parts of Dixie look like Greta Garbo, under her panties she's got a pretty big schlong.  But that would make her more a hermaphrodite than "androgynous."  Since this person doesn't seem to have a great grasp of English, maybe she used the wrong word.

I'm not sure where this person got this idea that she's "not a ravaging beauty" unless she's thinking of book 3 where Dixie becomes a plainer woman and then a little girl--which is why book 3 is no longer on Amazon. 

It seemed kind of weird.  I thought, "are you writing your own story now?"  Maybe they are.

Then later they wrote reviews for all 3 Gender Swap Games books, starting with Pool Hustle Swap:

JJ was a pool player, he had several rules, one never player for money if you can't paid. Two always study, the game and players, three never act than better than you are , four always practice, improve test your skill, your talent. Five trust your senses and instincts. These rules served him well.
One night a strange man in a suit and bowler hat. Offered him a change, a strange change, if he won he get 10 or 20 million dollars in gold. But what does he have that is of value, well that is strange at best, and what happens in the middle of there game was interrupted.
Well something was taken from JJ was equally important to him, well just say that life change a 180 degrees.

I'm not sure where all these "rules" came from.  The character in the story never makes up any rules like that.  I kind of wish I had.  The rest of it is more or less true.

Then was this one for Swap Poker:

There is a saying the different of gambles and card players, a card player, knows how too but the cards down, you ask why because the cards felt cold. A gamble always felt that itch that he was lucky no matter what.
He should've listened to part of him, which he to stop, but he had that streak, which he couldn't stop. So to paid them back. He had to do something, he was transformed into a girl, for reasons that are unknown to him.

I really don't understand the first paragraph.  What the hell kind of "saying" is that?

And then there's this one for Mulligan:

There is a saying no one likes lousy winner, you know him, he's the one tells you, that your not good, TY hate this guy because you earn the right to be a professional, and he well , had short cuts. So there was a chance, that he could have a do over. To do it right, he took it. He is reliving he life again, when he started it, but this time as girl is a private school, that he didn't asked for, but he or she is learning that the do over and being a girl could be the best thing his err her

This is just wrong.  The reviewer seems to think that Lyle, the main character wanted to swap himself when it was his rival golf player who made a deal with a witch to turn Lyle into a teenage girl.  It has nothing to do with doing it over right or anything.

This person also did the Gender Swap Challenge series, though the reviews were not as interesting.  Here's the first one, One Day as a Bimbo:

What would you do to win allot money, would spend time in the woods for a week, stay completely inside mansion, or become a girl for a day or longer, would that easy not exactly, it's more complex than that with a twist.

And the second one, One Week as a Whore:

A new challenge, a new game, a different variation of it. The new one basically the same, but time line. Will he succeeded, have problems.

And the last one, One Year as a Virgin:

Another challenge , another's offers, this time it's much longer and harder, month no, much longer about a year, simple no, he is to be a 17 year old girl. That in private school, here's the twist he going to be virgin, no sex , carnal pleasure, fingers or sex toys. Kissing, petting, are okay, its going to be a long hard year, before it ends if it will ends,.

I think that is a pretty accurate description, though I haven't read it in a while.

I'm not sure if this person has done any other of my books, but maybe.  It's hard to tell when they use the generic "Kindle Customer" handle.  One thing you can say is he or she has a style of his/her own.

On a more positive note, here's someone else, who wrote a not-quite-backhanded compliment of Swapnado:

This is, overall, head and shoulders above the average Gender Swap stories. First, it's a full length novel instead of a short story or novella! Second, the author does a decent job with character development where we actually care about the characters. Third, the author doesn't shy away from consequences as women: The two MCs deal with their menstrual cycles and other not so nice aspects like date rape and sexism.

The story ends well. I would recommend this.

You get the sense that other authors kind of lower the bar to the point you just have to mostly be competent to step over it? 

Yup, those are my readers. lol