Trivia Challenge Question #3

Time now for the third question!  Answer the question in the comments.  The first one to answer correctly gets 5 points, 3 for the second one, and 1 for the third one--if applicable.

In Chance of a Lifetime, Detective Steve Fischer has a grown daughter named...?

A.  Reagan

B.  Tyler

C.  Madison

D.  Trump

You might say, gee, that's so hard!  But of course if you've been reading this blog I've mentioned it a few times.  For instance, this entry. 

Stuff I Watched 1/20/17🎬

Not too much stuff I watched this week...

Star Wars:  Rogue One:  I finally got around to watching this.  It is a well-made and watchable movie but in the end there's still no reason for it to exist.  For me it's like if they made a prequel to Ronin to show you how the silver case MacGuffin came about.  I mean, who cares how the Rebels got the plans?  In the grand scheme of things it doesn't really add or detract from my enjoyment of the original Star Wars.  I was also hoping for more of an intricate Ocean's 11 scheme than a smash-and-grab. Anyway, like I said it's well-made and it's not boring, with just the barest amount of characterization necessary.  Honestly I didn't even know everyone's name.  What was the blind ninja and his buddy called?  I couldn't remember but I'm sure I could look it up.  The composer did a good job of imitating John Williams so it pretty much sounded like a Star Wars movie.  And Vader's scene at the end was pretty badass.    There are some dumb questions I'd like to ask:  why could the X-Wings blow up the AT-ATs so easily?  (And why didn't they then use X-Wings on Hoth?)  If the Rebels could fit the plans on a tiny disc, why didn't Jyn's father just give a disc of it to the pilot?  When did Vader get a castle and was it necessary to see him taking a bath? And just something completely random:  whenever Kinnec wore his little hat he reminded me of Jim Varney's Ernest character.  All that aside, I'd watch it again in the theater.  (3/5)

The Last Man on Earth:  This 1964 adaptation of Richard Matheson's I Am Legend is more faithful to the book than the Will Smith I Am Legend or the Charlton Heston Omega Man.  The point of the movie is that a disease has turned pretty much all but one guy into "vampires" that are more like the zombies that came later in that they just shamble around and beat on stuff trying to get into Vincent Price's house every night.  It's kind of slow and Vincent Price is miscast as the last guy on Earth.  The scenes where he has to interact with his family have absolutely no chemistry.  I mean, when you think "family man" Vincent Price isn't who springs to mind. (2/5)

Sicario:  An FBI agent (Emily Blunt) is drafted onto a team that is illegally going to go into Mexico to take out a couple of drug dealers.  Benicio del Toro is a sicario (or hitman) who is working for the Americans (temporarily) for his own reasons.  It's OK but felt a little slow.  And really Emily Blunt sucks at fighting.  She gets choked out by the new Punisher, shot by del Toro, and wrestled and almost choked out again by Josh Brolin.  She really needed that fighting suit from Edge of Tomorrow. (2.5/5)

Atlantic Rim:  The geniuses behind the Sharknado movies bring you this mockbuster of Pacific Rim.  A monster rises out of the Caribbean, but fortunately NASA for some reason has sophisticated giant robots on hand to fight it with.  (I can see NASA building robots, but I'm pretty sure they can't arm those robots.)  As you'd expect the plot is riddled with holes, the effects are terrible, the acting is wooden, and the attention to detail is nonexistent. An F/A-18 Hornet fighter attacks one of the monsters and the pilot keeps bragging about his .50 caliber machinegun.  Except Hornets don't have .50 caliber machineguns; they have a 20mm cannon.  And the pilot looks like he's in a helicopter, not a jet fighter.  For side shots they cut to stock footage and you can see the pilot has a different helmet.  A sub that's supposed to be in the Caribbean has a display centered in the Red Sea.  Navy personnel are wearing army uniforms.  An actress leaves a room in a pink blouse and gets into a helicopter wearing a blue blouse.  They use a "barometer" to measure pressure underwater when I'm pretty sure they're only used for measuring air pressure.  On and on.  Geez, doesn't "Thunder Levin" know how to look stuff up on Wikipedia? (0/5)

Friday the 13th Part 3:  Like Jaws 3, someone thought it'd be clever if Friday the 13th 3 were in 3D.  This was during that early 80s period when 3D was making a comeback.  And much like its next comeback in 2010, a lot of the movies made in 3D were pretty lame.  In this case we have the pretty standard "cabin in the woods" scenario where a bunch of dumb teenagers for reasons go to a cabin in the woods and are stalked and killed by Jason Voorheis except for one girl.  Only because it's 3D there are a lot of lame camera tricks and gags:  the credits do that old Superman movie thing, a guy putting up a clothesline moves the pole towards the camera, a snake jumps at the camera, a rat jumps at the camera, an eyeball is held towards the camera, a pitchfork is thrown at the camera, the camera angle is tilted so a yo-yo is coming at the camera, and so on.  It's so lame, especially when you're not watching it in 2D.  This movie is the the secret origin of Jason's iconic hockey mask, so there's that. (1/5) (Fun Fact:  Director Steve Miner went on to work with another silent serial killer about 15 years later in Halloween H20.)

Friday the 13th Part 4:  The crappy 3D tricks are left behind but otherwise it's largely the same story.  Kids go up to a cabin in the woods and Jason kills them.  The only difference is this time there's a family next door with a kid who makes monster masks and shit.  Overall pretty much the same old, same old, but one thing about the Friday the 13th franchise is at least there's usually some good nudity. (1/5)  (Fun Fact:  The movie stars a young Corey Feldman and Crispin Glover, who both went on to far more memorable roles in the 80s.)

Heist:  There are probably a thousand movies called Heist, but this one is from 2015 and is about a casino blackjack dealer whose daughter needs an operation and so he steals from his boss.  He and a couple guys get the money but then have to take hostages on a bus, so it goes from a heist movie to Speed.  There is a good twist at the end that helps to make it a little less blah. (2.5/5) (Fun Fact:  For a straight to Redbox movie this has a pretty decent cast:  Jeffrey Dean Morgan (Watchmen, Walking Dead, etc.) as the dealer, Dave Bautista (WWE, Guardians of the Galaxy) as his partner, Gina Carano (Deadpool, MMA) as a cop, Kate Bosworth (Blue Crush, Superman Returns) as a gangster's daughter, Mark Paul Gossett (Saved By the Bell) as a detective, Morris Chestnut (Rosewood, etc) as the gangster's right-hand man, and Robert de Niro as the gangster.  It's safe to say pretty much all those people have done better stuff.)

Trivia Challenge Answer #2

So the question was who's not a member of the Super Squad:  Apex Man, Ion Man, Midnight Spectre, or Velocity Guy?

The answer was B...Ion Man

Though Ion Girl later joins the Super Squad Auxiliary in book 3:  League of Evil.  This is after Ion Man becomes Ion Girl and is recruited to join a sort of Suicide Squad to save the world.

Cindy was first so she gets 5 points and Chris Dilloway was second so he gets 3 points, making the score:

Cindy 10, Chris 3, and Everyone Else 0 but obviously the game is young.

Trivia Challenge Question #2

Time for the second question.  Answer the question in the comments.  The first one to answer correctly gets 5 points, 3 for the second one, and 1 for the third one--if applicable.

In Girl Power, which of the following is not a member of the Super Squad?

A.  Apex Man
B.  Ion Man
C.  Midnight Spectre
D.  Velocity Guy

(It's a pretty tough question...unless you read the description of the book on Amazon.  Hint.)

Stuff I Watched 1/13/17 🎬

It's stuff I watched since Xmas!

War Dogs:  The trailers made this look like two doofuses (fat Jonah Hill and Miles Teller) have to get weapons into Iraq through the "triangle of death."  This is actually about the first third of the movie.  The rest is about these two college dropouts as they build an arms business and try to arrange a big deal selling AK-47 bullets to Afghanistan.  They get screwed by fellow arms dealer Bradley Cooper when he sells them Chinese ammo that is prohibited to sell to American allies.  So the guys come up with a great idea that I thought of right away:  take the Chinese bullets out of their cases and put them in plastic bags and cardboard boxes!  But soon enough there's a falling out between Hill and Teller and things go sour.  It's an entertaining movie and illustrates some of the craziness surrounding our wars in Iraq & Afghanistan that allowed this stuff to happen.  Not quite as good as the Nic Cage vehicle Lord of War though. I think in one of his Tweetstorms Trump blathered about having companies bid to provide medication for Medicaid/care; this movie helps illustrate how corrupt government contract bidding usually is, thus making that a pretty shitty idea.  (3/5) (Fun Fact:  This was directed by Todd Phillips, better known for directing comedic fare like Old School.)

Hell or High Water:  Two brothers (Chris Pine and Ben Foster) in Texas are about to lose the family ranch and so they turn to robbing banks.  The banks they rob are all from the chain that's going to foreclose on them.  Then they essentially launder the money through a casino and pay it back to the bank.  A pair of Texas Rangers led by Jeff Bridges is on their tail.  It's kind of like No Country for Old Men only without the great antagonist.  Jeff Bridges essentially reheats his Rooster Cogburn from True Grit; his lazy performance is the biggest drawback to an otherwise really good film. (4/5)

Striking Distance:  A lame early 90s action vehicle where Bruce Willis quits the Pittsburgh PD after his dad is killed and joins the city's River Rescue, where he gets partnered with Sarah Jessica Parker.  A serial killer from a couple years ago returns to leave bodies in the water for Bruce Willis to find.  It's chalk full of cliches that wastes a decent cast.  I slept through a lot of it but watched the end; I was wrong about the killer, so I guess there was that. (1.5/5) (Fun Fact:  Bruce Willis's character is named Tom Hardy, like the actor who played Bane in The Dark Knight Rises, which was largely filmed in Pittsburgh.)

Vacancy 2:  I barely remember Vacancy 1, which was about Kate Beckinsale and Luke Wilson being terrorized in a shitty motel.  This is a prequel of sorts where a couple and their black friend are terrorized by two rednecks and a serial killer who want to make snuff films to sell.  (Hilariously at one point a character says they should make snuff films because "no one pays for porn anymore.")  It doesn't really seem to sync up that well to the first movie.  I looked back at the first movie and it didn't seem like the motel staff was the same, which it really should have been.  And why didn't they close it down after this first incident?  Even if the local sheriff didn't do anything, the survivor could have gone up to the state level or something.  It would have made more sense to just have another motel.  I mean it's not like anyone really cares, right? (1/5)

In the Heart of the Sea:  This is supposed to be the story that inspired Moby-Dick.  I fell asleep before it even got to the white whale. (1/5)

The Magnificent Seven (2016):  A robber baron is taking over a small town so he can bulldoze it and mine for gold there.  When her husband is killed by the robber baron, a woman goes to a bounty hunter (Denzel Washington) who then recruits a team that includes Chris Pratt, Ethan Hawke, and Vincent D'Onofrio.  It feels pretty generic as they train the town how to fight and then take on the robber baron and his minions.  There are by now probably hundreds of other movies that use that same scenario:  Robin Hood (several of them I think), Dragonheart, Hercules, and so forth.  With Denzel Washington in the lead it actually made me think of Blazing Saddles, only not funny.  I never watched the original so I don't really know how it compares.  Anyway, it's an OK Western but not a Best Western. (Boom, motel slam!) (2.5/5)

Sneaky Pete:  This Amazon series is created and produced by Bryan Cranston of Breaking Bad and David Shore of House.  Giovanni Ribisi is a con man who is getting out of prison and needs a place to hide from a gangster (Cranston) so he decides to assume his cell mate Pete's identity and go to his Pete's grandparents's farm.  They apparently haven't seen the dude in 20 years so they fall for the ruse.  Ironically the grandparents have a bail bonds business. Giovanni Ribisi then helps a woman in the family track down a different gangster who has skipped bail.  It reminded me of TV Land's Impastor last year about a con man who assumed the identity of a pastor who died, only of course this isn't played for laughs.  It was good for a pilot, leaving you to wonder how long he can play this game of pretending to be his cell mate while dodging the mob.  The rest of the season drops today on Amazon so I can watch more of it. (3/5)

Shoot Em Up:  Clive Owen is a mysterious guy who likes carrots and kills a lot of people while trying to protect a baby.  Owen and Paul Giamatti chew up a lot of scenery while the stunt coordinators are the real heroes with all the ridiculous action sequences.  Should have spent a little more on the CGI during a sequence when Owen bails out of a plane and battles hired goons in the air. Overall it's fun, over-the-top action and not much else.  (2.5/5)

Simon Sez:  All you need to know is this stars Dennis Rodman and Dane Cook. (-1000000/5)

Batman: The Killing Joke:  The "graphic novel" for this was really about the size of two normal issues so to make it long enough for even a short movie they had to add some extra material.  Which means the first 28 minutes of this is a prologue that focuses on Batgirl chasing down a guy who gets in her head and has a sexual thing for her.  And for almost no reason she and Batman fuck.  None of this really has much to do with the main plot, which is that the Joker escapes and for...reasons decides to cripple Barbara Gordon (formerly Batgirl) and kidnap and torture Commissioner Gordon to prove that anyone will crack like he did after "one really bad day."  The parts actually taken from the graphic novel are fine, though to be honest this was never one of my favorite Batman stories.  If they really wanted to add something, why not add more of a motive for the Joker deciding to "prove his point?"  And/or some more material to his origin story.  Batgirl was never even in the graphic novel (except as Barbara Gordon) so that whole prologue was pretty much a waste of time. (2/5) (Fun Facts:  Like the Watchmen movie Alan Moore does not have his name in the credits.  This time I think it's a pretty good decision.  The Killing Joke was largely the basis for Jack Nicholson's Joker in the first Batman movie and might have some influence on Jared Leto's in Suicide Squad.  The movie was written by Brian Azzarello, who wrote the graphic novel The Joker that was more closely tied to Heath Ledger's Joker than this one.  The Joker is voiced by Mark Hamill and Batman by Kevin Conroy, reprising their Animated Series roles.)

Trivia Challenge Answer #1

And to review Monday's question:  What science does Dr. Emma Earl have her doctorate in?

The answer was:

D.  Geology

(Did you notice it was the one that didn't match the letter for the answer?  A Astronomy, B Biology, C Chemistry, D Geology...get it?)

Yep, Emma studies rocks.  Her particular specialty is studying meteors so there's a little astronomy involved I guess.

Cindy Borgne got the pattern and since she was the only one to answer, it's Cindy 5, Rest of the World 0.  But there's still plenty of time for anyone to jump in and catch up.  Hint, hint.

Trivia Challenge Question #1

Now it begins, the great Trivia Challenge.  Answer the question in the comments.  The first one to answer correctly gets 5 points, 3 for the second one, and 1 for the third one--if applicable.

Here's the question: 
In A Hero's Journey, Tales of the Scarlet Knight #1, what science does Dr. Emma Earl have her doctorate in?

A. Astronomy
B.  Biology
C.  Chemistry
D.  Geology

Comics I Read, Mostly Featuring Transformers and Dr. Strange Because They Were On Sale

Happy Epiphany!  At least that's what it is in some religions in parts of the world.  The whole "12 Days of Christmas" thing is supposed to be between Christmas and Epiphany.  Still don't know who wants all those birds and servants and musicians.

Anyway, I've mostly watched Christmas stuff recently so I thought I'd instead review some comics that I bought over the holiday season.

Transformers:  Dark Cybertron:  IDW's Transformers series tries to mesh together pretty much all the non-Michael Bay incarnations of Transformers, including Beast Wars characters.  It can be kind of confusing.  And especially because a lot has happened in the series up to this point.  Starscream is heading a unified government on Cybertron, until Shockwave (who is kind of like a Star Trek Vulcan, all logic and no emotions) launches an elaborate scheme to take over the planet and the universe.  There are a lot of moving parts with things happening on Cybertron, in deep space, and in the "dead universe" which is some kind of netherworld dimension.  I enjoyed it even though I didn't really understand all that happened up to that point. (3/5)

Transformers:  Combiner Wars:  The series eventually continued with the relaunch of combiner teams.  They were Hasbro's answer to Voltron where five mini robots formed one super robot.  The evil Menasor is let loose on a Cybertronian colony and then the heroic Superion is sent to fight him.  But then there are more combiners introduced (reintroduced) like Devastator, Defensor, Bruticus, and Optimus Maximus, which was something that would have been neat in the old series since it features Optimus Prime and four other Autobots.  Like the other it was fun even if I didn't get all the background. (3/5)

Dr. Strange Masterworks Volume 1:  This is the original Dr. Strange series featured in Strange Tales back in the early 60s, written by Stan "the Man" Lee.  Like Spider-Man it started as a backup feature with the Human Torch carrying the main title for a while and then Nick Fury, Agent of SHIELD.  Those parts are not included so you just get the 8 page stories of Dr. Strange.  Somehow they became popular despite that they were pretty corny.  The writing was pretty lame.  Everyone uses exclamation points!  All the time!  It gets annoying!  Most of the stories are Dr. Strange fighting his nemesis Baron Mordo, Nightmare, or Dorammadu.  It didn't really pick up until the last six issues or so where there's a continuous story of Mordo and Dorammadu teaming up and Strange going on the run.  Still, it's really hard to imagine how this launched a title popular enough to get a big movie made. (2/5)

Dr. Strange:  The Oath:  This 2012 version written by Brian K Vaughn has an almost noirish feel as Dr. Strange is shot by a burglar armed with Hitler's suicide gun, a weapon so evil it could penetrate Strange's magical defenses.  Saved by the "Night Nurse" (you might have seen her on Daredevil, Luke Cage, and Jessica Jones on Netflix) Strange, his servant Wong, and the nurse go on the trail of the killer.  It soon leads them to a pharmaceutical company and a cure for any disease known to man.  It was fun without seeming generically so.  Strange has kind of a stuffy know-it-all quality that conflicts perfectly with the more down-to-earth Night Nurse with Wong as the intermediary between them.  The story of evil Big Pharma also is pretty relevant to our times. (4/5)

Dr. Strange:  The Way of the Weird:  I think this was the latest relaunch of the title, but with Marvel who can tell anymore?  Dr. Strange faces a threat outside our dimension as some outside force called the Inquisition is tracking down and killing magic users.  This is making magic harder to use and eventually the war is going to end up on Strange's doorstep.  This story is largely a copy of "Spider-Verse" where an evil family was hunting and killing all the Spider-Men (and Women) from other dimensions.  The writing wasn't bad but it just felt generic with the bland, wise-cracking hero.  Pick up pretty much any other Marvel title from 2015 and it'll feel exactly the same.  I suppose being bought by Disney has led to this homogeneous feel. (2.5/5)

Dr. Strange & Dr. Doom:  Triumph & Torment:  This graphic novel from the 80s or something pairs up Dr. Strange and Dr. Doom.  A wizard has a challenge to see who will be the Sorcerer Supreme of Earth.  Dr. Doom shows up because he has some magic ability.  Of course Dr. Strange wins but Doom asks him a boon that he can't refuse.  That boon is to go to Hell and rescue the soul of Doom's mother.  So they go to Hell and fight Mephisto who is the Marvel Universe's Lucifer or whatever.  The hell part wasn't as epic as it could have been but the end was good.  To pad the book's length they add a couple of random Dr. Strange, Dr. Doom, and Sub-Mariner comics that tangentially apply to this, the Sub-Mariner ones mostly because they're drawn by the same artist, Mike Mignolo, who gained recognition for his Hellboy series.  That was kind of lame but oh well. (3/5)

Justice League 3001, Vol 1:  Sometime during the New 52 DC started Justice League 3000, which was kind of like Futurama--with superheroes!  Cloned versions of Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman, etc are created to save the universe from "the five" that's like the evil Empire or whatever.  The clones are imperfect, though, without all the memories of the originals and in Superman's case he can't fly or use heat vision.  Anyway, 3001 obviously picks up a couple of months later.  The head of the League has been possessed by an evil Lois Lane who sends them on dangerous missions hoping they'll die.  Meanwhile a gender-swapped Guy Gardner Green Lantern joins the team, in case you thought I was the only one to do that sort of thing.  It's pretty fun but confusing.  For one I didn't read the first year of issues and for another there are a lot of loose threads.  I want to read the second (and I think final) volume to see how much gets resolved.  This volume has a killer ending (pun intended) where Superman literally loses his head.  I'd worry about spoilers if I thought anyone who reads this would ever bother to read it. (3/5)

Amazing Spider-Man, Worldwide, Vol 2:  Peter Parker's globe-trotting adventures continue.  In this volume he battles Mr. Negative in China and then Scorpio in Paris/England.   It's a good continuation of Slott's Spider-Man that has been going for over a decade.  (3/5)

Potpourri, and Not That Smelly Stuff Some Cheap Jerk Bought You for XMas

This is going to be pretty much the last random post for a while, so I'm going to get my money's worth.

The "Secret" of Mega-Selling Authors...Is Not Really a Secret 👎

The Washington Post posted this article about mega-selling authors, supposedly unraveling why they sell so much.  The answer?  They write books.  With, like characters and plots and stuff.  Whoa!  That's so innovative!

Look, most writers write a bunch (OK, maybe not GRR Martin) with plots and characters people find interesting.  The difference between why some sell and others don't is just mostly luck whether we want to admit it or not.  A lot of them like Stephen King, John Grisham, Dan Brown or even my own hero John Irving did not find instant fame and fortune.  They had a few books do meh and then eventually one got people's notice and from there people started buying their other books.  As I've said before, there's really no secret formula.

Scammers Could Use Some Help Writing Their Emails💩

I forget where, but I saw an ad somewhere saying you could get $400 a week to have your car wrapped in advertising.  So I clicked the link because why not?  I filled in the form and sent it in.  A few days later I got this largely nonsensical email:

Good Morning, 

How are you today, Hope your having a great day. We want to firstly
apologize for the the sudden information. I just received an update from my
financier that the payment has been issued out and it will deliver
Thursday or Friday.

You can Track on www.usps.com

Here is the USPS tracking # (9405501699320098951485).

The check covers an upfront payment for you, The payment of the
graphic artist coming to wrap your vehicle and the materials suitable
to wrap your vehicle. Get the check deposited into your bank account,
The funds will be made available to you, Take out an upfront payment
of ($400) And send the remainder money to the graphic artist via Walmart to Walmart Transfer.

The graphic artist will be coming to your house to put the wrap on
your vehicle, She will be coming to your place as
soon as she receives the money sent to get your vehicle wrapped. Your
weekly payment continues next week and subsequent payments will be
$400 only. The artist will bring every necessary paperwork and rights
you need to have to carry the advert. We do not directly pay the
artist for a couple of reasons;  One of which is the that we
discovered the applicants are not ready when the artist gets to their
house, So we device the means of having the applicants send the money
to the artist to indicate their readiness. Checks of applicants who
fails to follow instructions will be canceled 3 DAYS AFTER DELIVERY DATE.


This is the information of the graphic artist to send the money via WALMART TO WALMART TRANSFER

NAME:         Samantha Torres
ADDRESS:   1062 coral desert drive
CITY:            Las Vegas
STATE:         Nevada
ZIP:              89123

There is a transfer charge at the store, Take out the transfer charges
and get the remainder sent to her.. Send a pic of theTransfer receipt when your done.

Looking forward to reading from you.

Acknowledge receipt of this email immediately.

Kind Regards.

First off, you can tell it was written by someone who speaks English as a second language just by the poor grammar.  The first sentence ends with a comma instead of a period.  The second sentence uses the wrong form of "your" (as do other places).  It just screams "Nigerian Prince Scam!"  Secondly, the whole narrative doesn't make much sense.  I get a check for $1600 and I wire $1200 to some girl in Las Vegas who will then wrap my car (in Michigan) in advertising?

The first question is:  why don't YOU just pay her?  They offer some lame excuse about me sending her the money will show that I'm ready.  What?  I can't just send a text, email, or use the phone to set up an appointment?  I have to send her money to show I'm ready?  Does that make any sense?  The second question is:  Las Vegas?  She's going to go all the way from Vegas to Detroit for one stupid job that'll probably take an hour or two?  I mean there aren't any other graphic artists between Detroit and Vegas?

Of course all of this is a scam.  Here's how it works:  I get the check, cash the check, wire the money, and then a few days later, guess what?  THE CHECK BOUNCES!  Then I'm out the $2400 I wired, plus NSF fees, plus probably overdraft fees, so I end up not only without the $800 I'm supposed to get, but also losing pretty much everything I have.

So you don't have to tell me it's a scam because I know that.  The point is that if this dude wants his scam to be believable, he could use some writing help.  Professional grammar is a good start.  Then a narrative that makes sense.  Like not having your operative based in fucking Las Vegas when the job is in Detroit.  And saying I should send the money to the "artist" to signal I'm ready?  That makes no sense whatsoever.  Find a better excuse.  Sure this can work, just like infomercials and junk mail work:  you throw enough shit at the wall and some of it is bound to stick.  It would probably work more often if you crafted a better email.

The other giveaway was they sent two checks at the same time with two different companies listed on them.  If the crap in that email wasn't a tipoff, those checks pretty much gave the game away.  I mean it's not like Penske Corporation would be paying me through two different companies, would they?  They'd have one central office for that shit.

Spoiler Space:  The Phantom Menace😠🚀

An article from Comic Book Resources popped up in my Facebook feed a couple of weeks ago.  It was saying that in an early draft of Rogue One, Jyn's mother was a Force user.  So I made the innocuous comment that then Jyn could be Rey's mother in Episode VIII, not really being serious about it.

So this ass named Roger Johnson has to get on his high horse and start fansplaining

this takes place 30-35 years before Force Awakens, Rey would of had to have been born ten years after Rogue One.... and everyone did die at the end of the movie according the darth vader

Um, spoilers, jerk?

 No, of course not.  

how is that spoilers... it says during the title crawl of A New Hope that everyone dies.... this isnt rocket science Patrick Dilloway

Like the ending of the movie is spoiled literally during the opening credits of the first ever Star Wars movie

Except it's not in the crawl!  This is the actual crawl:

Episode IV: A NEW HOPE
"It is a period of civil war. Rebel spaceships, striking from a hidden base, have won their first victory against the evil Galactic Empire.
During the battle, Rebel spies managed to steal secret plans to the Empire's ultimate weapon, the DEATH STAR, an armored space station with enough power to destroy an entire planet.
Pursued by the Empire's sinister agents, Princess Leia races home aboard her starship, custodian of the stolen plans that can save her people and restore freedom to the galaxy...."

Where the fuck does that say that the spies died?  NOWHERE!  Well of course he has to try again:

fine it doesnt say it specifically in the crawl.... but i know for a fact it is mentioned in the movie that the rogue one team died sending the plans to leia. like this has been known since before the movie was released in theaters. They beamed the plans before they were killed.. thats how vader knows leia has them

again, if you have seen A New Hope, then you already knew the outcome of the movie. I am not gonna apologize because you cant fucking comprehend a movie trilogy that has had its history wide out in the open for about 40 years

I finally put in the goddamned movie to watch it.  And no, it never says the spies died.  It only says that Leia received a transmission and that Vader traced it to her ship.  You'd think maybe the jerk would finally own up to spoiling the ending of Rogue One.  Nah.  He just kept it going and kept it going.

Vader clearly said Leia was the only link he had to the rebel base after he traced the spies to her

HE TRACED THE SPIES TO HER MEANING HE FOUND THEM AND FOUND WHO THEY SENT THE TRANSMISSION TOO

IF she is the only link, that means the others are dead.....

again, three minutes into the movie... right as he is talking to princess leia

First of all it's not "3 minutes into the movie" that Vader talks to Leia; it's more like 10 minutes.  And again, he only says that he traced the transmission to her ship.  That doesn't mean anyone died.  Spies send transmissions without dying all the freaking time!  As I tried to explain to him, that's kind of a spy's job.

Then of course someone else has to get in on it: 

 Jay Abbit:  We've known these characters died since it was mentioned offhandedly in A New Hope in 1977. 

GAH!!  No one said it "offhandedly" or any other way!!!  You fucking morons!!!!  Just admit you posted spoilers already!!!!! Or at least just shut the fuck up and go away!!!!!!

Honestly, sometimes I'm so fucking ashamed of sci-fi fans.  This know-it-all bullshit in response to what was a fucking joke.  And then not being able to either fess up or just STFU.  The mental fucking gymnastics trying to prove that he was right; it was as bad as arguing with Jay Greenstein.

More Adventures in Self-Publishing

Recently someone wrote this on Transformed for Summer Too:

This could be a halfway decent story if the writer left their politics at the gate. Meh, least it's KU so I didn't spend cash on it

 My thought was:  what politics?  This is a story about a dad who goes undercover as a woman at a summer camp to keep an eye on his daughter and then a killer shows up ala Friday the 13th.  What the hell is political about that?  I could see if you said that about The Hot Girl in the Bathroom, which was about the "bathroom law" in places like North Carolina, but there was nothing political about this!  I put it on sale for free so I could easily download a copy and review it.  The only "political" thing I could see is I mention a character "froze like W Bush on 9/11."  It would seem pretty lame to give a book 1 star for that.

I goofed originally when I loaded Naughty or Nice 2.  On PowerPoint I used an Eric Filler cover as the template for it.  Except I forgot to change the name to my other pseudonym, Ivana Johnson.  The infamous "John Daniels" wrote a 2-star review complaining about this.  Not that the name on the cover should really ruin your enjoyment of the text inside.  That poor fool thinks he's such an expert on Eric Filler and he didn't even know Eric Filler's real name.  Sad!  Hopefully by now Amazon has actually updated the cover on the page.

A New Year, A Brand New Attitude! (Or Not) 💩💩💩💩

The dumpster fire that was 2016 is over.  Time to light fire to a whole new dumpster!  Most likely with Drumpf at the wheel that dumpster will end up being destroyed in a nuclear holocaust.  So, let's eat, drink, and be merry for tomorrow we could (and probably will) die!

I mean I could spend the next 4 years (or however long until WWIII with China disintegrates us all) picking on Drumpf and the evil Republican regime that's determined to kill many of the people who voted for them, but what's the point?  No one cares.  Especially not right now.  It's still the honeymoon phase.  Eventually the dupes will realize that he's not going to deliver on his crazy promises.

So instead of railing on about that, let's have some fun.  I always liked the Comic Book Challenge I ran back in 2012, but sadly even though I was offering money to the winners, people only grudgingly participated.  Still, I'm not going to be deterred.  I'm going to start a whole new trivia challenge on an even more obscure subject:  my books!

Because this blog is supposed to help sell books, remember?  So here's your new blogging schedule:

Monday:  I'll ask the weekly question relating to one of my books.  Since you probably haven't read that book--though of course you could always go and buy those books to study up--the questions will be multiple choice or true and false, something to give you a fighting chance.

Wednesday:  I'll reveal the answer.  Provided more than one person actually answers the questions, I'll total up the scores.  Let's say the first person gets 5 points, the second gets 3, and the third gets 1 point.

At the end of the year whoever has the most points will win...something.  Probably a gift card for $20 or so.  And there'll probably be something for second and third place--if applicable.

Friday:  I'm going to keep doing weekly reviews:  for me, not so much for you.

The contest starts next week, so you have time to buy some books and bone up.  Not that you will.