Turning Fan Fiction to Regular Fiction

 After I did the Jetfire Saga thing, I went and reread the "Apocalypse Trilogy" of The Skyfire Adventures that were the basis for especially part 2 of the Jetfire Saga thing.  And I didn't hate it as much as I feared I would.  There were a lot of comma splices and head-hopping, but the story itself wasn't too bad.  Mostly I just needed to slow it down and develop it more.  But I was 20 years old and in college and most of the time working part-time, so I didn't have a lot of time for other stuff.

Anyway, I got thinking that if I wanted, I could probably take those three stories and spin them off into a separate thing.  And really I could spin them off even further into a non-Transformers story.  

I mean the gist is a crew of explorers finds a planet with beings similar to them.  Then the planet tears itself apart and some kind of horrible thing is unleashed.  You don't need to use Transformers for any of that.  You don't even need a giant robot to be the big bad.  I personally like the giant robot to be the big bad, but it'd be easy to use a kaiju or some kind of energy thing or something like that.  The point is this planet suddenly starts coming apart and everyone has to be evacuated and then they have to fight the big bad.

The main explorer meets the female leader of the planet and while touring the planet and stuff, they fall in love.  Then they have to work together for the evacuation and fighting the big bad.  Our hero sacrifices himself to save the leader of the planet but then comes back and she sacrifices herself to save everyone--and then she comes back too.

It would be pretty easy to do as a fairly normal sci-fi story. 

I could do the same for the Voyager fanfic I wrote that was sort of an evil Lower Decks.  Basically an ambitious ensign was assigned to Voyager as a punishment and then is pissed to be stranded in the Delta Quadrant, so he leads a mutiny.  In the end he's set adrift but manages to get to Earth ahead of Voyager and starts laying the groundwork to rise to power.

Again, you could do all of that like a normal sci-fi story.  There's a ship out in space and a disgruntled dude leads a space mutiny.  Though he's set adrift, he's able to get home and make himself seem like a hero.

And you could even combine the two into a series.  Like someone gets disgruntled after the first story and then stages a mutiny against our hero of the first story.  Then there could be a third story to make it a trilogy where the disgruntled dude reaches home first and sets up a nasty welcome for our heroes.

Anyway, Happy New Year!

The Jetfire Saga: Pt 3

So in the first two parts, the Autobot scientist Jetfire crashed on ancient Earth, awoke in the present, was thrown to a distant planet populated with Transformers, fell in love with the planet's leader, and helped her destroy the planet when it came to life and tried to kill everyone.  In the process they gave birth to a daughter, Nighthawk.

Today's final episode takes cues from my fanfic story Xenophobia and Transformers The Movie.

A few years later, the ragtag group of ships are heading towards Cybertron--or hope they are.  While Jetfire is a great scientist and Hippolyta is a great diplomat and leader, their daughter really has no interest in any of that.  She wants to be a great warrior, but there's not much to fight and so she's restless.  (Basically Nighthawk is like a teenager.)  They haven't actually told her she's their sorta-daughter; they just said they found her spark inside the planet and made a body for it.

Then they come across a Cybertronian ship that's crashed on a moon or something.  They investigate to find some of Jetfire's companions like Wheeljack, Hoist, Grapple, Perceptor, Beachcomber, and Skids.  There are also some Decepticons like Bludgeon, Bugly, Skullgrin, and Iguanus.  (Because the Pretenders need some love.)  Though Jetfire is reluctant to reactivate the Decepticons, he does so.  The Decepticons had intercepted the Autobot ship and boarded it and both crashed on the moon.  

The good thing is the crashed ship navigation data can help them find their way back to Cybertron.  It should only take a couple of months.  So long as the Decepticons don't start any shit, they can come along.  Bludgeon promises they'll be good. [wink]

While Jetfire is glad to see some of his old buddies, Nighthawk starts spending a lot of time with Bludgeon.  His whole samurai warrior code thing is really cool to her.  She finally decides she's going to be a Decepticon!

They finally close in on Cybertron only to find that it's under attack by Unicron!  (There's this whole thing that Cybertrax, the planet in the previous entry, is the father of Unicron and Primus, aka Cybertron, and sensing that one child was going to eat the other, he woke up and went crazy.)  Jetfire and Hippolyta plot to get some kind of big bomb inside of Unicron's chest to hopefully do a lot of damage.  Nighthawk wants to go with them, but they have some of the sciencey Autobots stay with her.

They launch their attack while forces on Cybertron and such are also attacking.  But things go wrong and Jetfire and Hippolyta wind up stuck inside Unicron, trying to survive his inner defenses.  Nighthawk asks the Decepticons to go with her to save them, but Bludgeon and the others refuse while the Autobots agree to go with her.  At the cowardice of the Decepticons and heroism of the Autobots, Nighthawk peels off her Decepticon sign and becomes an Autobot.

She and a ship with the Autobots head towards Unicron.  While the shuttle of Autobots is attacked, Unicron doesn't seem to notice Nighthawk.  She's able to get inside and find her parents.  They tell her the story of how her spark was formed and Jetfire surmises that its unusual creation is probably why Unicron isn't detecting her.  So she convinces them to let her take the bomb to Unicron's spark chamber.  While she's doing that, Jetfire, Hippolyta, and the others create a distraction so Unicron won't notice until it's too late.  Even Bludgeon and the Decepticons show up to help, having been shamed into it by Nighthawk.

Nighthawk makes it and plants the bomb, but then Unicron finally notices her and seemingly traps her.  The bomb goes off and Unicron is blown into pieces.  Jetfire and Hippolyta mourn their daughter...but then she zooms out of the wreckage, unharmed.

There's a big celebration on Cybertron and Nighthawk, Jetfire, and Hippolyta all hug and stuff like that.  Later, the Cybertraxians are settling on Cybertron and Hippolyta is going to help them get settled.  Jetfire wants to get back to work on scientific pursuits along with his Autobot buddies.  Nighthawk begins warrior training and meets Optimus Prime.

The End...?

The Jetfire Saga, Pt 2

Happy Boxing Day!  Here's Part two of my Jetfire trilogy.  This one is based mostly on the first 6 stories in my Skyfire Adventures fanfic series from the late 90s, mostly stories 4-6.

Jetfire seemed to blow up, but really he's thrown across space to a distant planet.  He crashes down on a planet that's full of Transformers!  The planet is called Cybertrax or something like that.  The residents fix Jetfire up and he meets their leader Hippolyta, who is a female bot.  She shows him around the planet and tells him about her people and they fall in love.  Jetfire isn't sure how to get back to Cybertron (or Earth) but at this point he's not too worried.

Then there are violent tremors shaking the planet, all the way down to the core.  Jetfire and Hippolyta go down into the core only to find a lot of strange machinery.  And then the planet itself starts to transform into a really big dude.  The planet, Cybertrax himself, has also gone crazy and starts trying to kill everyone while raving about "his children."  Jetfire and Hippolyta get everyone off the planet.  Then she goes back to use her Matrix of Leadership.

Jetfire follows her and when the Matrix isn't doing it, they add their sparks to it.  The combined reaction destroys Cybertrax!  Later, Jetfire and Hippolyta wake up floating in space.  And instead of the Matrix, there's a third spark floating with them.  

Hippolyta's people have boarded ships and they get on one.  She and Jetfire build a body to hold the spark they found and the body soon comes to life as Nighthawk, their "daughter."

Without a planet, Hippolyta and Jetfire lead her people towards Cybertron.

Wednesday is the final part! 

The Jetfire Saga, Pt 1

 We did Optimus and Megatron, so just for the hell of it (and really who's reading blogs on XMas Eve Eve?) let's do a movie for my favorite Transformer:  Jetfire!  I was just going to do just one but then I thought to make it a whole trilogy!  Because I can.

Long ago on Cybertron, Jetfire is a scientist who believes that the way to improve things for everyone is through better technology.  One day, along with his assistant Starscream, he's testing out a new dimensional gateway thing that could let Cybertronians go just about anywhere in seconds.  But during the test, some evil bots show up to steal its secrets.  Jetfire manages to blow it up, but winds up being sucked through the gate way and winds up crashing on a distant planet called Earth.  He's stranded in ice and goes offline for many, many years.

In present day, global warming helps to thaw Jetfire's location out enough that some scientists in the South Pole can find him.  An engineer in the group tinkers around with Jetfire and finally gets him working.  Jetfire talks to the human and learns where he is and when he is.

After a few days he takes a test flight--and runs into Starscream, Thundercracker, and Skywarp.  Jetfire really has no idea about the whole war thing, so he goes back to wherever the Decepticons are hiding out.  He joins with the Decepticons, who task him with rebuilding his dimensional gateway to make it easier for them to get reinforcements from Cybertron.

But soon Jetfire starts getting skeptical about Starscream in seeing how he treats humans and stuff.  Then some Autobots show up and while Jetfire helps to pacify them, Starscream is going to kill them.  Jetfire defends them and Starscream threatens to kill him.  It comes out that of course Starscream betrayed him all those years ago, arranging for the attack so he could steal the secrets.  Jetfire got in his way then, but he won't this time!

They fight and dogfight and eventually Jetfire blows up the gateway, though again he's sucked through it.

Where will he land this time?  Find out Monday...

(Fun Fact:  This was pretty much the plot of "Fire in the Sky," the G1 episode first introducing Skyfire, the cartoon version of Jetfire, pictured above.)

Optimus Prime: The Movie

If you do a Megatron movie, you should probably do an Optimus Prime movie too, right?  In the comics and TV shows, Optimus has a few different origins, but they all start out with a bot named Orion Pax.  In some Orion is a laborer.  In others he's an archivist.  And in more recent ones he's a cop.  I suppose the latter would be more exciting.

Basically the idea is Orion Pax is a good cop but sees corruption all around him, especially at higher levels.  And so when Megatron starts advocating for revolt, Orion actually agrees with him and joins the Decepticon cause.  But where he and Megatron differ is how to achieve their goals.  Megatron of course believes in violence and killing and tyranny.  Orion prefers more of the Gandhi or MLK Jr nonviolent approach and then letting the people of Cybertron decide.

They work together at first but when Megatron's second revolt begins and starts killing those in charge, Orion has to stand up and fight back along with other Autobots like Prowl, Sideswipe, Ratchet, Ironhide, and his girlfriend Elita-1.  And then the leader of Cybertron dies and the Matrix goes to Orion, who becomes Optimus Prime and vows to stop Megatron--no matter the cost.

Or something like that.

Megatron: The Movie

Are you not entertained?!

 OK, so I've done a bunch of fake Star Wars movie ideas.  Here's another idea, a Transformers idea.  Disney made villain-centric movies about Maleficent and Cruella and WB made a movie about the Joker, so why not make a movie about Megatron, the leader of the Decepticons?

The idea would borrow a lot from IDW comics in the 2000s-2010s, Transformers Prime, and the War for Cybertron cartoon on Netflix.  It's sort of a Gladiator/Spartacus thing--with Transformers! 

Long, long ago on Cybertron, the Autobots or some other faction ruled the whole planet.  Megatron was created as a mining machine and put to work in the mines.  But he didn't want to toil away in mines all the time just because he turned into a mining machine.  Why shouldn't he be able to do what he wants?  Freedom is the right of all sentient beings--oh wait, that's the other guy's thing.

He leads a rebellion in the mines but it fails.  He's taken to the gladiator pits, where the leaders figure he'll die.  But he doesn't.  Instead he's the greatest champion Cybertron has ever known!  This gives him fame and followers and lets him start getting his message out.

And so eventually he leads a second rebellion.  This one is more successful and starts the whole Cybertron civil war thing.  Near the end he kills some leader guy who put him in the gladiator pits and takes the dude's fusion cannon.

We'd probably see Orion Pax (aka Optimus Prime) and Bumblebee and other popular characters and of course Decepticons like Starscream, Soundwave, and Shockwave.  Paramount probably wouldn't go for it because it's not on Earth and so we can't cast stupid annoying humans in it. Wah, wah, wah. [eye roll]

You could do a framing device with humans set in modern day and Optimus or someone is telling them about Megatron.  Maybe that would placate Paramount?

Alternate Star Wars Episode VII-IX: The Chiss Ascendant

At this point I've read 4 of Timothy Zahn's six prequel books about Grand Admiral Thrawn, before he was a Grand Admiral.  I'd read the others if they weren't so expensive.  Anyway, in those books it explains that Thrawn is from outside the Outer Rim in "wild space."  He comes from a sort of empire in itself called the Chiss Ascendancy.  Since they put Thrawn in canon in Rebels, it would have been awesome if he could have been the villain in the sequel movies.

When my idea starts out, the New Republic is generally at peace.  Ben Solo is taking the tests to become a Jedi Knight on some world in the Outer Rim.  And that's when the vanguard of the Chiss fleet shows up.  They have some Force-suppressing ysalimari with them that allows them to kill Luke Skywalker--because how fucking epic would it have been to kill Luke off in the first 10 minutes of the first episode?  Yeah, we're not messing around here.

Luke buys time for Ben to escape into the wilderness, where he meets Rey.  He needs her help to elude capture by the Chiss and get back to the New Republic to tell them what's going on.  As they tramp through the wilderness or whatever, he starts to realize that Rey has Force abilities and maybe they start to fall in love and stuff.  He gives her a little training and Luke's green lightsaber.

In the meantime, Luke and Ben are way overdue and Leia, Han, and Chewie are worried.  While Leia would like to send a New Republic task force out there, that would probably be overkill, so Han and Chewie agree to take the Falcon out to the Rim to see if they can make contact.  Poe and a couple of X-Wings go with them as well.

Eventually Ben & Rey reach a city to find the Chiss are taking full control of it as a staging area.  They try to sneak onto a ship but get caught and taken up into space, where they see an armada of modified Star Destroyer-type ships.  They're taken to the Chimaera, where they meet Thrawn.  Maybe he has an eye patch or scars or something.

He sees a necklace Rey is wearing that she got from her mother years ago just before her mother died.  He studies it because of the intricate details but that's not all!  The necklace is actually a map to a secret Empire facility.  Putting it in a holographic projector, it brings up a location.  Then Thrawn has Ben and Rey sent to the brig.  There are ysalimari on the ship so they can't use the Force or anything.  

Meanwhile, Han, Chewie, and Poe continue trying to make contact, until they're met by some of Thrawn's forces.  They barely escape somewhere to regroup and try to figure out what's going on.

Of course Ben & Rey find some way to escape the brig and get to the hangar to steal a ship.  They have to dodge some TIE Defender-type fighters and turbolasers and shit and then the Falcon and Poe's X-Wings show up to help them escape.

Thrawn's XO laments the escape but Thrawn just shrugs and says it was inevitable that their invasion would be revealed.

In the next part, Rey and Ben meet Han, Chewie, and Poe and he delivers the bad news that Luke is dead.  Then they head back to Coruscant to give Leia the bad news.  She puts her grief aside to start assembling some forces to find the planet Thrawn is interested in, including Finn as a captain of some ground troops.

Meanwhile, Thrawn's fleet comes out of hyperspace at a remote planet.  There's a dormant volcano thing, inside which is the Emperor's "storehouse" of technologies he didn't want the rest of the galaxy to have--such as cloning tanks.  Thrawn begins cloning legions of Chiss troops--and something else.  There are also some interesting Doomsday-type prototypes the Emperor never had the chance to use, but Thrawn will now.

Our heroes find the planet and Han, Finn, Ben, and Rey lead a detachment of troops to scout the place while Poe and Leia oversee the ships and fighters.  There's soon a battle in space while on the surface, our heroes find the entrance to the storehouse.  There they run into Chiss warriors--and a clone of Luke Skywalker!  Ben and Rey have to battle Luke's clone while Han, Finn, and the others try to defeat the Chiss.

In orbit the battle goes sideways for the New Republic when Thrawn uses some kind of ion bomb or something to cripple most of the New Republic ships.  Soon, Leia has to order a retreat, leaving her husband, son, and the others.

They get word on the surface and manage to fight their way back to their shuttle and escape into hyperspace.  Thrawn orders everything dismantled to be moved before the New Republic shows up.  Then he uses some ysalimari to make sure clone Luke can't use the Force against him.

In the final part Thrawn is on the offensive--and winning thanks to his clone army and Doomsday weapons.  There would be some big battle over the New Republic capital planet while Ben and Rey get on Thrawn's ship to take on Luke's clone, who maybe turns to help them..  In the end, clone Luke does like his father did and destroys his master while the good guys escape.  Or whatever.

It occurs to me later I never said who Rey's mother was or why she had that necklace.  Maybe her grandmother was a mistress to the Emperor and gave that to her so she could rebuild the Empire should it become necessary.  She got pregnant and, rightly sensing Palpatine would be a shitty father, fled to the planet at the beginning before the Empire fell.  She met a dude and they raised her daughter who then had Rey and the necklace was just handed down from one generation to another as a pretty piece of jewelry.  So Rey would still be Palpatine's granddaughter, but in maybe a more sensible way than...however they did it in Episode IX.

I think I've milked the alternate Star Wars for all its worth.  Let me know which--if any--you actually liked and would pay to see.  We're going to finish out the year with some Transformers movie ideas that are all instantly better than anything Michael Bay has done.  

Alternate Star Wars Episode VII-IX: Arr, Me Hearty, Pirates!

I didn't like the first book of the High Republic series that features some pirates fighting Jedi like 300 years before Episode I, but I got thinking that pirates might have been an interesting villain for Episodes VII-IX, better than the First Order anyway.  

The idea is that there's a big election coming up with Leia against General Snoke for president or chancellor or whatever of the New Republic.  To help steer things his way, Snoke recruits Kylo Ren and a group of pirates to create a crisis by attacking targets in the New Republic.  Finn and Poe are guards for Leia who are dispatched to look into the attacks.  They need some discreet transport and so recruit Han and Chewie to take them somewhere.  They eventually find Rey on some planet where the pirates have a base.

The big finish for the first episode would be the pirates try to steer an asteroid into the capital of the New Republic.  Snoke then is supposed to be the big hero but when he's betrayed by Kylo, it's up to Finn, Poe, and Rey to stop the asteroid, which they do.  At the end Kylo reveals that he's really Ben Solo, who was kidnapped and thought to have died years ago, which had broken up Han and Leia's marriage.

Arr, matey! I be a pirate now!

In the second episode then Snoke has lost the election but the pirates are still rampaging around and so the good guys try to track them down.  Finn infiltrates the pirates while Poe stays with a fleet that always seems a step behind the pirates and Rey goes to find Luke Skywalker to learn more about the Force.  Finn finds out that Kylo is gathering more pirate bands and a bunch of other scum and villains.  And Rey learns more about the Force on some planet.

Eventually everyone comes together somewhere in a big fight where Rey and Luke fight Kylo while Finn battles some pirates and Poe leads fighters against the pirate ships.  Things take a turn when Luke is killed by Kylo and Snoke shows up with New Republic ships that start firing on the good guys.  Leia barely escapes the capital as Snoke takes over and declares the dawn of the Second Galactic Empire!

And so then in the third one the good guys have to gather loyal forces to defeat Snoke and his new Empire to restore the New Republic.  It would all end with a big battle on and around the capital planet with Rey confronting Kylo and Leia/Finn taking out Snoke and Poe leading the battle in orbit.  Of course in the end the good guys win and the New Republic is restored.  Yay!

Again I could probably try to fill in more details and stuff, but who really cares, right?  I think you get the gist.  Or not.

Alternate Star Wars Episode VII-IX: Invasion By Force

Slightly before the Obi-Wan Kenobi show I had one of those random thoughts while watching the animated shows:  why wasn't there some kind of Underground Railroad for Jedi and other Force users after Order 66?  And then the Obi-Wan Kenobi show actually featured something about that, so maybe I have the Force!

That thought collided with another about one of the problems with the sequel series was a pretty meh villain.  The First Order was basically just a cut-rate Empire with all the same stuff even.  Probably because it was so rushed into production that no one had time to design a bunch of new shit.  Anyway, while the 2000s books about a race called the Yuuzhan Vong invading the galaxy far, far away were pretty stupid, the principle was a good idea.

Now we get to the point:  what if a bunch of Force users who escaped Order 66 had formed their own colony and returned to the galaxy far, far away some 50 years later?  It's similar to something I wrote in 2010ish called Liberation Front that was about a human colony on Mars returning to Earth to "save" it from itself.  Only one of the Martian soldiers eventually realizes they're really conquerors not liberators and ends up helping to start a rebellion against her own people.

Rey would be the one who is part of the invading group but gets a conscience.  Probably her people would capture Finn and/or Poe and in talking to him/them she realizes that her people are doing more harm than good.  Then she joins up with Finn, Poe, Luke, Leia, Han, and Chewie to repel the invading Force users led by Kylo Ren, who would not be a son of Han and Leia.  Snoke would be one of the original Force users who helped to found their colony.

The first movie would have the Force users invading and in the final act Rey turns on them to join the New Republic.  Then the second movie would have her and her new friends struggling to fight back as the Force users gain more ground.  Then in the third movie, Rey and the others would go to the colony of Force users to confront Snoke and get him to stop the invasion.  In the end Kylo Ren is killed and some of the other Force users come to Rey's side and the invasion is stopped to let them and the New Republic work things out.

I could probably try to work out the whole thing, but from last week's entries that gets really hard the farther down the rabbit hole you go.  So it's better to stick to just a broad overview.  I mean it's not like this would actually happen, right?

Though you could also reengineer this to be episodes X-XII.  Say it's like even longer, like 70 years since Order 66 or maybe like 20 years after Episode IX.  With Luke Skywalker and Princess Leia dead and Kylo Ren dead and Rey "Skywalker" just sort of wandering around, the New Republic has pretty much forgotten about the Force or Jedi.  

Then a bunch of Force users return to take over!  Poe and the New Republic initially try to take on the Force users, but they're getting their butts kicked.  He enlists Finn to find Rey to help.  Finn and Jennah and whoever have to dodge some evil Force users until Rey finds them.  Meanwhile, Poe and the New Republic military make a big stand, but when it fails, they have to fall back and try to regroup.

In the second part, Rey and Finn have to find and recruit some Force users of their own while the evil Force users continue their push towards the heart of the New Republic.  The fighting is getting desperate for Poe and the military.  It gets worse when the evil Force users come out with some big Force-powered weapon.  Rey is struck down while Finn and some of their new students manage to escape.

In the third part, Finn has to use his fledgling Force ability to help the others unlock as much potential as they can.  Along with Poe and what's left of the military, they plan one last assault to drive the evil Force users back.  This involves Finn and the good Force users getting on whatever the weapon is to stop it so Poe and the military can safely counterattack.  But of course things don't go to plan.  In the end, Finn unlocks more ability than he thought he ever had and destroys the head of the evil Force users.  He convinces the others to let go of their hatred and come back to the light side.

And so everyone gets together to start the healing and rebuilding...

Alternate Star Wars Episode III: Twilight of the Jedi

 Things have gotten pretty grim and it occurred to me that it really makes sense.  The reason the prequels should never really have been attempted is it's really a story all about death:

• Death of the Republic
• Death of the Jedi
• Death of Anakin Skywalker
• Death of Padme

And the birth of evil.  It's not really a happy story.  Lucas tried to sugarcoat it and that's why it doesn't work.  It's a story of evil prevailing, not a cutesy story for kids to cheer.  It was better for Lucas just to give a few vague details in the original trilogy and most of us would not really care that much.

But obviously I'm not going to sugarcoat it all that much.  Buckle up!

We start with a battle on some planet.  Ice, desert, water...whatever.  The Empire's forces are being routed and then Vader's fighter streaks over.  He strafes some of the Separtists before jumping out to start slaughtering them.  The idea here to show that Vader is a fucking badass, as most older fans watching the prequels were hoping for but had to wait to see until a tacked-on scene in Rogue One.

As Vader turns the tide, he feels a disturbance in the Force and goes back to his fighter to zip away, leaving his forces on their own.

Meanwhile, in the Jedi monastery from the previous entry, Padme is giving birth to Luke and Leia.  And none of this bullshit about her dying in childbirth for some vague reason.  While Obi-Wan is happy for Padme, he too senses a disturbance and knows Vader is going to be on his way to find his children.

(One thing that's bugged me for a while is how Vader and the Emperor could not know about Luke or Leia for almost 20 years.  Especially since Luke was living on Tatooine with the Lars family, whom Anakin knew, and using Anakin's surname.  Sure it's a backwater planet but it doesn't really make sense.  I think it's a plot hole that needs addressed.)

Obi-Wan contacts Yoda, who tells him to take Padme and the kids to an ancient Jedi temple, where some kind of rite can be done to hide them and other Force users from the dark side.  The rite needs a lot of Force power, so Yoda and some of the remaining Jedi have to go there as well.

Meanwhile Mace Windu or some other Jedi along with Grievous and the remains of the Separtists plot a scheme to try to tip the balance their way.  Using secret hyperspace routes only the Jedi know about, Mace and some others in a shuttle head to Coruscant.  Their plan is to capture the new Emperor and force the Empire to surrender.

Obi-Wan arrives at the temple and is shocked to find Maul there!  He survived his fight with Vader and hasn't repented, but he wants revenge and at this point the Jedi need all the allies they can get.  The ritual begins with the Jedi standing around in a circle and concentrating and/or chanting or some such shit like that.  But as they're doing it, there's the roar of a ship overhead.  Vader has found them!

The strike team lands on Coruscant to get the Emperor.  They make it into his throne room only for him to reveal his Sith lord powers.  The strike team is killed, except Windu, who's the last one.  He stays alive long enough for the Emperor to reveal his newest weapon:  Star Destroyers!  A whole fleet of them descending on the Separtist capital world.  And then Windu is killed while the Emperor laughs.

Maul faces Vader again to buy the Jedi time they need.  As they fight, it's clear Maul will lose, so Obi-Wan goes to help him.  They fight together while the others continue the rite.

The battle over the Separtist capital turns into a rout as the powerful new Star Destroyers massacre the older Separatist ships.  Grievous orders a retreat, but his ship is disabled and boarded by Stormtroopers.  Grievous goes down fighting, but he eventually is killed.  And with it the Separtists.

Obi-Wan and Maul are still fighting Vader but Maul is finally killed.  Obi-Wan continues alone.  Meanwhile the other Jedi complete the ritual so that Luke, Leia, and other Force users will be shielded from the dark side--for a while.  Yoda and Padme head for a ship while the others rescue Obi-Wan.  The odds are against Vader, but of course that doesn't stop him.  (My Vader is like Michael Myers or Jason Voorheis--only he can talk.)  The other Jedi are killed and Obi-Wan is the only one left.

Yoda and Padme get the kids on a ship and take off.  Vader has the upper hand on Obi-Wan, but seeing the ship taking off, he pushes Obi-Wan away with the Force or whatever so he can get back to his ship.  Obi-Wan heads for another ship left there only to find Yoda and the kids already aboard.  Padme took the other ship, knowing Vader would go after it.

Above the planet, Vader is bearing down on the ship, trying to disable it so he can board it.  Padme sends a message saying he'll never have her or their children.  Then she overloads the reactor so it blows up.

Obi-Wan and Yoda have meanwhile left the planet from the other side and enter hyperspace before Vader can see them.  They acknowledge Padme's sacrifice and decide to split up the kids to better the chances at least one will survive.

Vader returns to Coruscant, where the Empire is triumphant, though he's far less so.  Yoda takes Leia to Bail Organa and Obi-Wan takes Luke to Tatooine.  And it can end with that shot that ended the real Episode III.

Yeah, I know it's not a lot of "fun" but again this is a story about death.  It's not going to be lots of fun.  But there's still some hope at the end.  I'm not thrilled about my device to make Luke and Leia "invisible" from the Force or whatever but I couldn't think of a better alternative.  I mean there are no amulets or marking or anything like that or magic berries they could eat or some stupid thing like that, right?  Though maybe they could have a mark on their bottoms or somewhere we never actually see in the rest of the movies.  I'll have to think about it.

Anyway, I checked the boxes I wanted for this:

• Eliminate silliness:  Jar-Jar, podracing, Anakin as a kid, Yoda fighting, the "prophecy"
• Eliminate some plot holes:  also the "prophecy" and the Emperor/Vader not sensing the Skywalker twins
• Try to make a more even tone
• Give Vader His Balls Back

So there.  Next week are three different ideas for Episodes VII-IX.  They aren't as in-depth or intense as this was.

Alternate Star Wars Episode II: The Dark Side Rises

 You can read my Episode I entry from Monday to catch up on this alternate take on the Star Wars prequels.  Basically I'm doing a slightly more adult version with some changes to the story.

Anyway, when this starts, Anakin Skywalker is leading a clone assault on some planet.  The fighting is intense but the objective is taken.  After reporting back to base, he receives a mysterious message to meet on some planet.  He worries it might be a trap, but it's actually Padme, who by now is like 6 months pregnant and definitely showing.  When she says the baby is his, he is furious and asks if she's told anyone about the baby.  She hasn't and he threatens that she had better not reveal anything.  (My Anakin is not really a good guy.)

Meanwhile, Obi-Wan is searching for Maul.  The trail takes him to some planet where Maul is leading Separtists against the Republic.  There's a fight, but Maul is able to escape again.  Obi-Wan contacts the Jedi Council and promises to continue following Maul's trail.

After the escape, Maul is contacted by Palpatine, who tells him to hire some bounty hunters to find Padme and bring her back to Coruscant--alive.  Among those hired is Jango Fett.  Jango works some source to get on the trail of where Padme is holed up.

The Republic is going to make a major push and so Anakin has to ignore his problem with Padme to help lead the offensive against General Grievous, who by now is about half-droid.

Padme is at home one night when Jango breaks in to capture her.  She escapes to get a message for help out.  Obi-Wan picks up the signal and goes to whatever planet to fend off Jango and get Padme on his ship.  There she reveals who the father of her baby is and they head to Coruscant to talk to the Jedi Council.

Anakin is still fighting on some planet when Maul shows up and they duel.  Anakin is wounded but kills Maul--or thinks he does.  Afterwards, he's called back to the ship, where guards are waiting to take him into custody.  Anakin kills them and then steals a fighter to escape into hyperspace.

On Coruscant, word comes that Anakin has escaped.  Obi-Wan tells Padme that Anakin is going to come for her and the Council.  He promises that he and the other Jedi will protect her and do what they can to stop Anakin without killing him.

Anakin sneaks onto Coruscant and goes to the Jedi Temple.  He's spotted by a guard and kills some clone guards.  A few Jedi rush in to stop him, but he kills them too.  With Anakin fighting his way inside, Yoda starts getting the younglings on a ship to evacuate them to somewhere safe.  Obi-Wan takes Padme to join them.

They're just getting aboard when Anakin finishes a couple more Jedi off to reach the platform.  He tries to use the Force to stop the ship and does so for a moment, but Obi-Wan interferes.  The ship veers away and crashes in an industrial part of Coruscant.  The younglings are killed in the crash while Yoda and Padme are injured.  Obi-Wan is trying to get the survivors to safety when Anakin shows up to finish what he started.

He and Obi-Wan duel, ending up in a factory that's damaged and caught on fire from the crash--thanks to the Obi-Wan Kenobi TV show for the idea.  Anakin is winning the duel, but Obi-Wan destroys a support of the catwalk they're on.  They both fall  and Anakin tries to kill Obi-Wan in midair, but Obi-Wan deflects him away with the Force.  He manages to land mostly safe while Anakin falls into the fire and is badly burned.

Obi-Wan goes back to the crashed ship to find clone soldiers there to arrest him and any other surviving Jedi on orders of Palpatine.  Obi-Wan knocks the clones out to escape with Yoda, Padme, and any other survivors.

Meanwhile a shadowy figure squats next to Anakin and uses the Force to ease his pain.  He asks what Anakin would do for a chance at revenge and he says anything.  So he's taken away to be put in some bacta and then becomes Darth Vader.

In a speech, Palpatine says the Jedi have rebelled and become Separtist outlaws and so any Jedi will be eliminated.  He proclaims that it is necessary for him to take full power and become the Emperor.  Some like Bail Organa are pissed but Vader is there, watching silently and menacingly, daring anyone to challenge Palpatine.

Obi-Wan, Yoda, and Padme end up on some planet where there's an ancient Jedi monastery.  There's a medical droid and such to help care for Padme.  Then Yoda and Obi-Wan leave to rally those Jedi who remain and try to find a way to fix things.

It ends with Padme mourning what she's lost while putting a hand to her stomach--and the future.

If you want to do a cookie scene, then show Maul is still alive--or put it earlier. 

The story concludes on Friday...

(It's dark and depressing, but don't worry--it's only going to get worse!)

Alternate Star Wars Episode I: The Uprising

Friday I said how rewatching The Clone Wars finally gave me some ideas for how I'd redo the prequels.  Redo them in a slightly more mature fashion.  Basically a PG-13 fashion instead of PG.  Call it an alternate universe, the Grumpy Bulldog Star Warsverse!

First thing is to change the cause of the war to something a little more coherent than...whatever it was in the prequels.  Taxing trade routes or some fucking thing.  We'll use sort of a core concept and make it simple.  Basically the outer systems are tired of Coruscant and the "Core" systems dictating things to them.  They're feeling like the Core doesn't really represent them or get them, sort of how Trumpers claim to feel.

There's an uprising on Naboo or some other planet outside the core systems and the Jedi dispatch Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker to investigate.  In my version Anakin is not a "Chosen One" and there's no dumb prophecy or Immaculate Conception or anything like that.  He's just a seemingly typical Jedi who recently passed the trials to become a Knight.

Anyway, Palpatine has Darth Maul there to help stoke the rebel groups there against the rule of Queen Padme.  And to oversee production of a droid army that would probably be less stupid than the ones in the movies and TV shows.  One of the rebel leaders is General Grievous, who's still a fully flesh being at this point.

The Jedi are talking with Padme to get her take on things when the palace comes under attack.  Obi-Wan buys time for Anakin to escape with Padme and is then captured to be taken to Maul.  Maul has been itching to fight a real Jedi and so gives Obi-Wan the chance to fight for his life.  They start fighting but Obi-Wan sees a chance to escape and does so, which really enrages Maul.

Anakin and Padme's ship was damaged in the escape and so it doesn't get far before they have to crash land on a desolate planet I really don't want to be Tatooine because why does it need to be in everything?  The emergency beacon or commlink or whatever isn't working where they crash, so they have to begin a perilous journey to find help.  They talk about being a Jedi and ruling a planet and have to fend off a few predators or quicksand or whatever.  One night after fending something off they finally kiss-and then more, though being PG-13 we aren't going to show that.  But then the next morning they're captured by pirates!

Meanwhile Obi-Wan returns to Coruscant to brief the Jedi Council and Senate on what's happening on Naboo.  More uprisings have begun after the one on Naboo on other planets outside the Core and the Core Systems are all on high alert.  With the rising number of enemy drone soldiers, Palpatine proposes the Republic beef up its armed forces by using clones.  Cloning was outlawed hundreds of years ago because the clones created then were often unstable, but the Kaminoans assure the Republic that they've worked out the kinks now.

The Jedi really don't like the idea of tons of clones running around, so they take Obi-Wan and a bunch of other Jedi with a few military ships to Naboo to put down the uprising, thereby assuring senators that clones are unnecessary.

Meanwhile, Anakin and Padme are being questioned by pirates, who sense they're a big deal but want to know exactly the kind of deal they can get.  Anakin is beaten up and Padme is threatened, but being PG-13 she's not going to be raped or anything.  Eventually Anakin gets free and slaughters the pirates and then they're able to steal a pirate ship to head for Naboo as they hear there's a battle going on there.

Things are not going great for the Jedi over Naboo.  Besides a drone army, there's also a fleet of ships from Naboo and other planets.  During fighting in orbit, Anakin and Padme show up and land on one of the Jedi ships.  Padme assures them that if they can liberate the palace and she can talk to her people, they will end this uprising that's largely being driven by elements from outside the system.

Being a better pilot, Anakin takes a fighter to clear a path while Obi-Wan and another Jedi take Padme in a transport with some troops to the surface.  They manage to land near the palace to storm the place.  Anakin, Padme, and the troops go to liberate the place while Obi-Wan and random Jedi fight Maul.

There's an intense firefight in the palace and eventually Anakin and Grievous square off with Anakin badly injuring Grievous and getting shot himself.  Padme rushes to his side but he tells her to go and broadcast her message; they have a romantic kiss before she leaves.

Meanwhile, Maul kills random Jedi in a whole big duel thing.  Obi-Wan continues fighting alone.  Instead of chopping Maul in half, he just chops off a hand or something and an enraged Maul retreats, swearing revenge.

Padme gets to the throne room or wherever to broadcast her message.  Instead of just saying that the droids are bad and they should be destroyed, however, she says that the fate of Naboo should not be decided by her or the droids.  It should be decided by the people in a referendum that will be held in a few weeks, once things are sorted out.  That's enough to get the people to rise up against the droids and liberate the planet.  Before Anakin is taken to a bacta tank, Padme tells him she won't mention their night together to anyone.  Obi-Wan tells Padme she made a wise decision about the referendum, though she's not entirely sure.

A couple of months later, Naboo votes to leave the Republic.  Many other planets likewise secede, forming their own Separtist government.  The Republic responds by agreeing to bolster their armed forces with clones to force the Separtists back into the Republic.  The Jedi divide as well, with some like Anakin joining with the Republic military and others like Obi-Wan and Yoda remaining neutral.  More important to them is to find out who Maul was and who else might be working with him.

Meanwhile, Padme is forced to leave Naboo.  On the way a medical droid tells her that she's pregnant...[ominous music]

OK, so there's my rough idea for a reworked Episode I that's a bit grittier than the original with less stupid shit--maybe.  Or just different stupid shit?

Wednesday continues the story...

Watching The Clone Wars Again Gave Me Ideas For How the Prequels Should Have Gone

 A lot of years for the last month of the year I do something stupid because I figure people are going to be busy with all the holiday stuff.  I had some alternate Star Wars ideas and so I thought, why not put them towards the end of the year to cover that period no one cares about?  Right?  Makes sense--from a certain point of view.  So next week I have some prequel ideas and the week after some sequel ideas.  I never really do anything with the original trilogy; that is basically untouchable to me.  I know those are not perfect movies but they were such an integral part of my childhood that I simply can't bring myself to do anything with them.  Continuations in the form of prequels or sequels, however, are fair game to me.

Back in May on the 4th I rewatched some episodes of The Clone Wars TV show.  And then because I was bored, I said fuck it and just started rewatching the whole series.  The first few seasons especially are really good, but a thought that occurred to me is the lesser episodes are stuff that take cues directly from the movies.

For instance, there are mercifully only a couple of episodes that feature Jar-Jar Binks and his stupid shenanigans.  But really what got me thinking are a couple of episodes involving Anakin and Padme.  The whole "secret marriage" thing just never really works for me.  Cynically I got thinking that really the only reason they did it at all is because they didn't want Luke and Leia to be bastards.  They probably would have gotten a lot of complaints from "Christians" if Anakin knocked Padme up without marrying her.  Personally, I never really gave a shit one way or another; as a kid I spent approximately 0 seconds thinking about who gave birth to Luke and Leia.

There are a few episodes in particular dealing with Anakin being the "Chosen One" and that whole "prophecy" thing.  A prophecy that never really made any sense at all.  Even in the movies it didn't make a lick of sense and the episodes trying to make it make sense didn't work.  Because it's stupid and it was just trying to make him seem special--also why he was some kind of Immaculate Conception.  Because we couldn't just have him be a fairly normal Jedi who turns bad and becomes an evil killing machine.  No way, he has to be a special Jedi who turns bad and becomes an evil killing machine for...pretty weak reasons.

Stuff like that has always bugged me about the prequels and I've always wanted to do one of my things like with the sequels where I rewrite it in a "better" or at least different way.  I think I finally came up with how I would do that.  So I'm going to spend next week doing that for no real reason.

The first thing to know, though, is I'm rejiggering a lot of Episode I.  No Anakin as a little kid or "metachlorines" or pod racing or Jar-Jar or whatever.  That shit sucks.  Fuck it.

So that's next week.  Hooray.

Cover Prompt #13

 For the final entry, here are three cover images with a rough title that I've never written anything for:

I guess the idea would be similar to what I used for Swapoween:  a serial killer is somehow turned into a hot girl.  She goes on murdering people only now in sexy ways!  And maybe she goes after a cop trying to catch her or something.

Personally I like the middle one best.  The first one shows more skin but it's not really clear that she's using it offensively and not defensively.  And the third one is a little too Alice Coopery, but other people might like that better.

Which do you prefer?  And do you have any ideas for these?  And what did you think of this?  Should it be a regular thing? 

I'm sure Tony Laplume thinks these covers need more armpit hair and manboobs.

Friday introduces the start of December's entries, something you don't want to miss!  Or probably won't miss.

Cover Prompt #12

 Here's one I did actually start a story for but I didn't finish it:

I started this like over 2 years ago but it's one of those where it wasn't working extremely well.  It was getting kind of dark for some reason.

The gist of the story was a guy had cancer and went for an experimental treatment that wound up turning him into a hot girl.  I actually used some of that for The Exclusive, where a reporter covering a scientist's experimental treatment wound up turning into a girl.

Maybe I'll take another crack at it sometime.  Instead of something as down as cancer, maybe it could be something less serious.  Or not.

I could do it as a 4th "Gender Swap Resort" story and call it "Spa Day" or something.

What do you think?

Cover Prompt #11

 Since it's Black Friday, here's an image of shopping:

I might have used this for a Swapping Mall story but I found other images.  Maybe I could do another Bait & Switch, Gender Swapped on Black Friday story.  But probably not.  Or another Shop Until You Drop story.  Or Swap Until You Shop?  A guy is turned into a girl and forced to shop?  That could work.  Like a guy cuts his wife off from spending money and she retaliates by turning him into a girl who has to spend money or she'll never get the cure.  Then maybe the guy decides he likes shopping as a sexy girl...

Other than the fairly short hem of that sweater dress, I'm not sure it's an extremely sexy image.  And the white in the bag makes it hard to take the background out.  But maybe someday I'd use it.  Or not.

Cover Prompt #10

NOTE:  If you're getting a "Content Warning" you have to click on before opening this blog now, it's because last Saturday I had 5 posts flagged for content for...reasons.  Like Amazon, Blogger isn't really specific about what they feel was so terrible and looking at the posts, they were all from 7-9 years ago and most didn't really seem to have anything that bad.  I mean, I could have seen flagging some of these Cover Prompt things, but a Box Office Blitz post from 9 years ago?  WTF?!

At first I thought maybe it was some troll trying to sabotage my blog by flagging posts.  Then I started to wonder if maybe with Elon Musk opening Twitter's floodgates to racists, trolls, and conspiracy theorists, Google wants to virtue signal and is overcompensating by flagging stuff that isn't even remotely bad and is so old that no one is reading it anyway.

After the 4th email I got in a couple of hours, I turned on the adult content thing for the whole blog.  I've only gotten one email since then and that was still on Saturday, so maybe that will satisfy them?  Or maybe not. 

Anyway, that's why you have to click the button to acknowledge you're an adult and whatnot.  It's not that I'm suddenly posting a lot of gross, nasty smut or anything.

Speaking of...

It's the day before Thanksgiving, so here's an image I didn't use for Swapsgiving:

The problem was it doesn't really look all that Thanksgiving-y.  I mean there is a dinner but not any turkey or anything.  It looks like pasta salad to me.   It doesn't really scream Thanksgiving to you, does it?  No Pilgrims or Native Americans or anything.  Looks more like an Italian restaurant.

So I could use it in some generic swap story.  Or probably not.  I don't really like it that much.  The color is kind of dark and it's not extremely sexy.  Pasta salad isn't as phallic as a lollipop.  I'm just saying.

Maybe you have an idea?

Cover Prompt #9

 It's the day before my birthday and a few days before Thanksgiving.  Here's a sexy image that I haven't used for anything yet.

I've had that one for a while.  It's pretty sexy with the hot girl holding a lollipop, which is kind of a phallic thing.  I don't know why I haven't used it.  I thought of using it for Sweet Shop Swap but I found something better.  Another problem is I'd want to maybe find a background instead of blank white but that lollipop has a big white spot, which makes its sort of a pain.

There are probably a lot of things I could do with it.  A guy turns into a girl with a sweet tooth--in more ways than one!  Or a guy turns into a girl at a fair or something like that where you might be able to buy an oversized lollipop.

What does this make you think of? 

Cover Prompt #8

Here's a less sexy cover image than on Wednesday.  I think the model is cute, but it's not probably sexy enough for what I usually do.

If I wrote a story, I suppose it would be something in winter.  Since it's not really sexy, maybe do something nicer with it.  Like a homeless guy freezes to death but comes back as a woman and meets a guy and they fall in love.  I've done something similar with Transformed for Christmas 3 and From Homeless to Goddess.  Or maybe like Frosty there's a magic hat or gloves that turns the guy into a woman who finds true love.

Do you have any better ideas?

Cover Prompt #7

Today here's a two-for one.  Here are two images I have showing sexy women in their underwear.

The reason I haven't really used either, especially the second one is that they both are a little zoomed out.  The first one is closer, so it's more likely that I could use it--if Amazon would let me.  The second one is a little too far away to make it a great cover.  As you can see I downloaded it as a possible cover for The Changing Room almost 3 years ago.

The first one is the sort of picture I could use it for a lot of different stories since it's not extremely specific.  It's a hot girl in her underwear.  Finding the right story for it, there's the issue.

But do you have any ideas?

Cover Prompt #6

 Here is another cover prompt, where I post a picture I have lying around on my computer but have not used.  This is one I think I took from Amazon when I was looking for something else:

It's kind of self-explanatory to me.  In the 60s or so a sexist pilot or executive is turned into a hot blonde stewardess for Pan Am or something like Pan Am.  Then she has to deal with jerk passengers and sexist co-workers and all of that.  And maybe she tries to become a pilot as a girl.  Maybe a pilot has a heart attack or someone tries to take over the plane and she has to land the plane safely, earning the respect of people.

While I have a story of sorts there I think part of why I haven't used it is I'm lazy and it would maybe require historical research.  Plus I'd need an airport background and to drop out that background would probably be annoying.  Maybe I could find a Pan Am font online to go with it.  Probably call it something like From Pilot to Stewardess or whatever.

You have any better ideas?

Cover Prompt #5

 Since today is Veteran's Day, here's an image of a soldier:

This is styled on a Soviet soldier because a lot of stock photo sites use pictures from over there.  Which I guess would be problematic with the situation with Ukraine, but I've had this for years.

Anyway, I guess if I did a story it'd probably be one similar to ones I've done before where a solider is part of an experiment only there's a side-effect where it turns him into a hot chick.  And then the soldier has to prove that she is still valuable as something more than a sex toy.  Or maybe do a kind of Stripes thing where a screw-up soldier turns into a hot girl and finds a way to save better soldiers from some dangerous situation.

What ideas come to you?

Cover Prompt #4

 OK, so here's another cover image I haven't used yet.

This is a fairly generic image in that there's not much specific except the woman looks really surprised.  Which would be good for a surprise gender swap.  Basically some guy turns into a woman unexpectedly.  I could try to take out the white background and maybe put it into some other background.  That's some work, but it might look better.  

Part of why I haven't used it is no offense but the girl is fairly sexy but not exactly a supermodel and you can't see her breasts.  That might not be that attractive to some people.  But you do get a good look at her midsection.

I probably found this when searching for an image for The Magic Panties because it shows her panties a little.

Anyway, do you have any ideas?

Cover Prompts #3

 So here's another cover I haven't used yet.  As you can see it's an alternate image for Music Shop Swap, Gender Swap Shops #8.  But since I didn't use it for that, I could use it for something else.

Like Music Shop Swap or The Comeback, I suppose the idea would be a guy who was a rocker or would-be rocker is turned into a sorta punk girl who has to try to find fame and fortune that way.

I have a few like this.  Sometimes I find an image and then later find another one or just decide I like a different one more.  If I can still use it, then that would be good.  In this case since the girl is clothed and not much of her is visible it might not really be sexy enough for this kind of thing.  That's mostly why I didn't use it the first time around.

Anyway, do you have any ideas for it?

Cover Prompts #2

 It's time for the second cover prompt.  Here's another picture I got somewhere and haven't used.  This is also another where I put a title on it but I haven't really done a story:

The title came to me when looking at the picture of the woman kind of looking down at her boobs with surprise.

The most obvious (to me) is there's a guy who's kind of a jerk.  He harasses a girl with big boobs and then he finds himself turning into a girl with big boobs.  And maybe they start kind of small and they keep getting bigger until they're uncomfortably big.  Then the guy has to repent but maybe he decides he likes being a girl--albeit with smaller boobs.

So does this give you any ideas?  Maybe some dirty thoughts?  I kinda wonder if that shirt is too see-through that some drone at Amazon won't let it post.

Cover Prompts #1

 So as I said on Monday, for NanoWriMo I'm going to post some cover images I haven't used yet.  Sometimes I buy a bunch of images I might use or just that interest me when I have some credit on a stock site.  Or doing a search of free images I see something I like and download it.  I don't know if I'll use these or not.  Some I actually put a title on and some might be blank or mostly blank.  Here's the first one:

I don't remember where I got this from, but it's a hot redhead, so that's right in my wheelhouse.  I hadn't really thought of a story yet.  A guy becomes a hot girl who goes by the name Ginger, because she's a ginger.  And then I suppose she falls in love with someone.  A man or woman.

Really what's missing is the motivation.  Who's the guy who's swapped?  Why is he swapped?  Some are voluntary and some are involuntary.  Maybe he's someone who makes fun of gingers and so is turned into one.  Or maybe he loves ginger girls and gets a chance to embrace his fantasy.

As I've said before, there is kind of a science to this.  Or I guess it's like math where you have to figure out the variables.

The easiest thing would be to do a "feminization" story where a guy decides to dress like a girl who's a redhead named Ginger.  And then meets a guy or girl and they have sex.  Woo hoo.

Now, do you have any ideas?  Maybe you're the type who's too paranoid to share.  Then keep it to yourself if you want, but just let me know it inspired you, OK?

A Scary Halloween Message

Happy Halloween!  Tomorrow begins NanoWriMo and as usual I will not be actually participating, though I could.  It's no big deal to me but I understand it helps to get other people going.  Anyway, I'm going to put the blog on cruise control through the end of the year. Scared yet?

November in honor of NanoWriMo, I'm going to have a little fun with some cover images I haven't used yet (maybe) and come up with a rough idea how I might use them.  And maybe you, Phantom Readers, can come up with an idea of your own, sort of as a prompt.

Here's one I may or may not get around to by now.  Or maybe later.  I still have to figure out exactly how to do it.  Basically there'd be one of those escape rooms a guy gets locked into and the clues would turn him into a girl or something.  Or maybe he's turned into a girl and has to find the clues to turn back?  Something like that.

The font is supposed to look like blood spelling the title.  Maybe I should move the name at the top to the left or something so it's on the floor too.  Like this:

December I did some stuff a long time ago.  It doesn't relate to the holidays at all.  Unless you consider Star Wars and Transformers to be part of the holidays for some reason.

And I have the A to Z Challenge for 2023 already written, though I sometimes keep adding to the entries.  So a lot of the blog is already on cruise control.

There, that's probably all scarier than Michael Myers or Freddy Krueger or Jason Voorhees. 

The Final Comics I Read for the Year!

Wednesday I posted the final Stuff I Watched for the year and here's the final Comics I Read for the year!  Probably not much since I don't read a lot of comics usually.  Basically when I 'm bored and there's not much else to do in my games and I don't feel like writing.  It strangely doesn't happen that often.

Strange Adventures:  To this point, I have not read a Tom King story I haven't liked. The closest is some of his run on Batman, but especially the limited series I've read: Vision, Omega Men, Up in the Sky, Heroes in Crisis, Mr. Miracle, and now this, have all been great reads. The common thread is even when a character isn't human like Vision, Superman, or most of the Omega Men, King manages to bring out the human drama. I suppose a lot of comic book readers don't like his style because it's not all slugfests and "cool" team-ups and new powers and stuff. At the same time he doesn't work in more tawdry areas like Alan Moore, Frank Miller, or Mark Millar.

At the start you think this is going to be like Mr. Miracle with the relationship of Adam and Aleena similar to Scott Free and Big Barda. But then things start to take turns and it sort of becomes like the early seasons of House of Cards where they're scheming and manipulating people to get what they want while trying to avoid getting caught, in this case by Mr. Terrific, who is given the task of looking into Adam's story of "saving" the planet Raan.

Ultimately like House of Cards while the male lead character was supposed to be the central focus, it's his wife who ends up taking center stage. Aleena is a strong woman, a princess who isn't afraid to get her hands dirty and mix things up. She schemes and does bad things to protect herself and her husband while not knowing all the things her husband has been up to.

In the end the question is: how far would Adam Strange go to save his family and his adopted home of Raan? Would he sacrifice his original home to do it? Would he sacrifice the love of his wife?

These are things that I'm not sure any other comic book writer would have done to tackle an Adam Strange story. It's a great story. Another triumph for King.

The art is mostly good, but a couple times I was looking at a panel and not exactly sure what I was looking at. In the last couple of issues they tended to draw Mr. Terrific looking kind of chubby, like he had a double chin. Kind of odd. (4/5)

Rorschach:  Of course after I heap all that praise on King, then this.  The title turns out to be a bait-and-switch. This does not really involve Rorschach as in the one in Watchmen. Or I don't think the one in the Geoff Johns sequel Doomsday Clock, though I have yet to read that.

This I guess is supposed to be in the same universe as the HBO limited series as it's 2020 and Robert Redford has been president for 20 years and running for another term. There is a mention of Oklahoma and cops in masks but that's it; none of the characters of that show appear in this.  Redford's opponent Turley is nearly killed by an assassin dressed as a cowgirl and a guy dressed like Rorschach.

The format of the story is like Citizen Kane as the unnamed detective follows the clues to discover who did what. But there's a twist at the end that was pretty good.

Still, at the end of the day this is just a political thriller vaguely set in the Watchmen universe that just throws in some Rorschach branding to justify the title so DC fanboys will buy it. It doesn't feature the real Rorschach or offer any insights into his character. There is a mention that the assassin guy's fingerprints match the original Rorschach but that's just a red herring; original Rorschach is dead and stays dead.  It's too bad because Tom King could probably have written a really interesting story on the actual Rorschach instead of this cheap branding stunt.

Not that it's a bad book, but it's not King's best work. The art is fine.  Pretty typical stuff that I guess wasn't a lot different from the original Dave Gibbons art in Watchmen.  (2.5/5) (Fun Fact:  Comic book writer Frank Miller appears as himself, only in this world he wrote a pirate comic called The Dark Fife Returns. Heh.)

The Sandman Mystery Theatre Vol 1:  I guess because of the Sandman Netflix series they put this on Prime Reading, but it's not really connected to the Neil Gaiman reboot of Sandman in the 80s.  This 90s series was actually an update of the Golden Age (ie, 1930s-40s) original version of the Sandman, where he was a rich guy named Wesley Dodds who has a gas mask and gas gun that he uses to knock people out.  And there's a spunky daughter of the DA named Dian who frequently visits Wesley, though she doesn't know his secret and they don't screw or anything like that.  The structure is pretty true to Golden Age comics/pulp heroes but they updated it for the 90s with cursing, blood, sex, and rape.  I could have done without the child rape (the act is not depicted, just the aftermath) but that's just me.  The art is not great with various fairly crude styles that differ between the 4 separate 4-issue stories and sometimes even between issues of those stories.  But at least they didn't draw the Chinese characters the way they would have been drawn in the 30s-40s.  Mostly I enjoyed the stories as they are pretty good old-fashioned Golden Age-type stories despite the R-rated content. (3/5) (Fun Fact:  I had this in my library for 5 months before I finished it because I had some other stuff I read and sort of forgot about it for a while.)

The Sandman Volume 2:  The Doll's House:  This actually is the Sandman comic written by Neil Gaiman in the late 80s that is the basis for the Netflix series.  I don't know if they used this particular volume as part of the plot, though it has a lot of the characters they used like The Corinthian and Johanna Constantine.  The former has a bit more importance while the latter is just more of a cameo.  The main story is about a girl who is a "dream vortex" which means she can basically merge all the dreams around her, which causes people to die.  Before that can happen, Morpheus or Dream or whatever you want to call him has to stop her, which seemed pretty easy.  It really didn't seem like it needed to be 7 issues but there was a lot of other stuff about her grandma and kidnapped brother, who is nearly killed by the Corinthian.  And in the middle of it is an issue that didn't seem to advance the plot at all; it seemed like a standalone issue about Morpheus meeting up with some guy who refused to die every 100 years in a bar.  Sometimes the guy was up and sometimes down.  Sometimes he was a soldier or a merchant or a slave trader.  While interesting it didn't seem to have much relevance.  But otherwise it was good. (3.5/5) (Fun Fact:  I had this one 2 months longer than the other Sandman one before I finally read it and returned it to Amazon Prime Reading.)

Superman & The Authority:  There was some hubbub about this when author Grant Morrison took to Substack and said this was his last story for DC Comics, whom he first wrote for back in the late 80s with Arkham Asylum, Animal Man, and Doom Patrol before being one of their major writers in the late 90s-late 2000s on JLA, 52, and Batman.  On the Substack he said some not very kind and probably very true things about DC and the comic book industry in general.  That all being the case, I thought this would be a self-contained story.  Especially since it starts with Superman talking to Jack Kennedy in 1963, just a couple days before he was killed.  But then it turns out this is I guess a prelude to the whole "Future State" thing DC did that I haven't read.  There were issues that went farther and farther into the future until the end of time basically.  In the Superman ones, original Superman (ie Clark Kent or Kal-El) leaves Earth to free "Warworld" while his son Jon takes over being Superman.  And I don't really know what all happened after that except I think Superman took over the Warworld and freed the slaves there.

When this story begins in whatever the present is supposed to be, Superman is older (basically looking like the Kingdom Come version) and his powers are weaker.  So he starts recruiting a team, starting with Manchester Black, who's basically John Constantine with psychic powers instead of magic.  Then they recruit Steel's daughter, Midniter & Apollo, and Enchantress.  The latter is basically a whole issue to get her to reconnect her human half with her Enchantress half...and then she doesn't really do all that much.  Brainiac and Ultra-Humanite are out to take over the world and the team stops them...I guess.  After three issues of build-up it seemed like the bad guys were dealt with pretty easily.  And they have to recruit "Lightray" who was born on Mars in another universe and has...some kind of powers.  She doesn't really do anything in this, but maybe she did stuff in Future State?  Or whatever.  It was pretty disappointing that this was Morrison's "final" work--at least for now.  A lot of it just seems like a cut-rate version of Morrison's far better All-Star Superman, which was a self-contained work and 12 issues to this book's 4 so it definitely felt like a complete story while this just felt like a teaser.  The art was pretty typical for DC, which IMO is better than a lot of what Marvel uses these days.  (2/5)

Superman: Birthright:  This was written not long after Smallville began airing and so includes some Smallville elements like Luthor living in Smallville, only as a teenager, and being friends with Clark.  And Lana was a cheerleader Clark had a crush on, but she was dating the quarterback.  Also, Luthor found "meteors" aka Kryptonite that he uses later against Superman.  

This is mostly another story about Clark's early days as Superman in Metropolis, which was done better than Man of Steel.  It introduces the familiar characters like Lois Lane, Jimmy Olsen, and Perry White while updating it for the 2000s.  In the end, Luthor uses a plan not much different than Ozymandias's in Watchmen, only for more selfish motivations. The end was nice as Superman gets to use a wormhole to communicate with his real parents.  While it's not really an important or even memorable story, it's not bad either. (3/5)

Justice Society of America by Geoff Johns, Vol 1:  I guess with the Black Adam movie coming out they put this on Amazon Prime Reading.  This was essentially a soft reboot of the Justice Society in the late 90s.  Years after "Zero Hour" had made most of the JSA old and/or killed them, they reform with some second-generation members as well as original Flash Jay Garrick, original Green Lantern Alan Scott (aka Sentinel), and original Wildcat.  The first few issues have them find a baby who is the reborn Dr. Fate.  A couple of issues have Black Adam fight the JSA and then the last arc they have to save the universe from Extant, the former Hawk, who is trying to alter all of time.  It's OK though the problem with volumes like this is they throw a lot at you.  Instead of 5-6 issue story arcs like most comics use these days to fit into one trade paperback, most of these are 2-3 issue arcs.  Overall it was decent and while it probably doesn't factor that much into Black Adam, some of it did factor into the Stargirl TV show.  (3/5)  (Fun Facts:  Ironically while it says "by Geoff Johns," Johns doesn't actually take over the writing until a few issues in.  The first issue begins with Wesley Dodds, the original Sandman referenced above only now an old man, killing himself rather than letting a villain take important information from him.  His kid sidekick, now grown up, becomes the leader of the JSA for a time.) 

Halloween is a scary post that explains what is going to happen with the blog in November...