Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Two Cent Tuesdays: Rules Made to Be Broken

BIG ANNOUNCEMENT:  In case 99 cents was too rich for your blood, you can now get my gender-bending superhero novel Girl Power for FREE on Amazon.  (And also Smashwords.)  They were a lot quicker matching Smashwords this time than on other books.

The good thing about the blogosphere is it can help feed me topics when I really can't think of anything to write for posts like these.  This one comes from over a month ago.  I saw it on Goodreads originally.  It's about first-person narration.  The author is about the third person I'd heard in a few days who'd said how difficult first-person is.  I've never really had much trouble with it, but then I didn't think much about all these supposed "rules."

Uses 1st Person
The first one I'd agree with.  It's something the other people on a message board had been saying, which is first-person shouldn't be narcissistic.  In other words your narrator should not drone on and on about every little detail of their life or go on and on about their brilliance and good looks and so forth.  Because no one cares.  That's pretty much the second rule too.  It's sort of like Fight Club that way.

Which hey, wasn't Fight Club a first-person novel?  Brilliant accidental segue into my next point!  The first rule I don't agree with is about the "uninteresting narrator" and how your narrator needs to be the Most Interesting Man (or Woman) in the World.  This is simply not true.  Take Fight Club there for instance.  The guy narrating the story (Ed Norton in the movie) isn't as interesting as Tyler (Brad Pitt in the movie).  Of course then (spoiler!) we find out Ed Norton IS Brad Pitt, which is a big downgrade for Brad Pitt.  The Blind Assassin by Margaret Atwood is similar where we think the sister narrating is so boring until (spoiler!) it turns out she really wrote the book supposedly written by her sister.

But probably the best example of when this is not true is The Great Gatsby.  The whole novel is first-person narrated by Nick, who is not nearly as interesting as Gatsby or Daisy.  Breakfast at Tiffany's uses the same sort of narration where the first-person narrator is like an observer of the action, not the focus of the action.  The Warlord Chronicles by Bernard Cornwell is another example of a less-interesting narrator, focusing on Derfel, a soldier and buddy of Arthur.  Ian McEwan did it in his Booker Prize-winning Atonement.  John Irving, my literary hero, does this in The Hotel New Hampshire and A Prayer for Owen Meaney, where John the narrator is not as interesting as those around him.

And who else has done this?  This guy!  One of the frequent complaints about Where You Belong is that Frost Devereaux isn't assertive enough.  As I've said before, that was the point.  He's more of an observer narrator than a participant narrator.  The Maguire twins and even some of the secondary characters are a lot more interesting in many ways than Frost.  The idea, inspired by the Irving novels above, was for Frost to get steered along by these characters until he finally decides to take control of his own life.

That's a pretty good selection of books there to dispute that "rule."  I'm sure we could find tons more evidence if we so chose.

The rule about the omniscient first-person narrator is another one I dispute a little.  It's one I largely cast aside in Where You Belong, where I applied what I refer to as "four-dimensional narrating."  The idea is that Frost is narrating this from some future point and therefore has access to information he wouldn't have in the present of whatever moment in the story.  So when people whine about how it's not written like a toddler's point of view at the beginning, well of course not.  Who the hell would want to read a toddler's narration?  It would be confusing as all hell since they don't know what anything is.  Though Room by Emma Donoghue was one case where a child's narration was good as a way to contrast his innocence to the horrible things we knew were going on.

McEwan's Atonement was another one that sort of uses this idea.  Though (spoiler!) we find out later that what's going on with other characters the narrator couldn't possibly know about at the time is actually part of a book she's writing.  So really she's kind of fictionalizing the events of those other characters to some extent.  Still, it helps illustrate that if your narrate is telling the story from some future point, they can add information they wouldn't otherwise know.

Lastly is the "rule" about who is the narrator talking to.  You can't have your character be dead or turned into a crocodile.  Why the hell not?  The former worked pretty well in the Oscar-winning "American Beauty."

Really the problem for me is that if you want to get into that point, first-person narration of any sort doesn't make much sense.  Now in some cases maybe the narrator is writing a book or dictating a police statement or writing a blog or something.  In most cases we don't really know who they're talking to or why and it doesn't really matter.  Because first-person most of the time isn't very logical.  I mean, unless your character has a photographic memory, how can they remember exactly what everyone said and what they were thinking at every single point?  I can barely remember what I ate for breakfast this morning, let alone what I was thinking while I was eating it.

Who the hell am I talking to?
Think of those voiceovers in noir movies taken from books like Chandler's Philip Marlowe stories or Dashiell Hammett's Sam Spade stories where the detective starts off saying, "A dame walked into my office..."  Who the hell is Marlowe or Spade or whoever talking to?  Me?  But how?  I'm in 2013, not 193_ or 194_!  You can't be talking to me unless you have some kind of time machine or weird Twilight Zone-type telephone.

Present-tense in first-person is especially a lot of bunk.  In The Hunger Games, how can Katniss be telling us that she's shooting an arrow at someone while she's doing it?  Who the hell would she be telling it to?  In Chance of a Lifetime how can Steve Fischer tell you that he's turning into a woman while it's happening?  Don't make much sense, does it?  But we just overlook that because we don't care.  So the idea that you have to have some logical framing device in place is a lot of hooey.  I think the reader generally accepts that we throw out those kind of logical notions when reading the story.

It kind of bugs me to think these bogus "rules" might be why some authors are getting their stories rejected.  That I suppose has always been a problem in the publishing industry; you are pretty much at the mercy of whoever is reading the query and then the story.  If that person for instance thinks that someone wearing magic armor to fight crime is too "far out" then you end up getting a rejection.  But hey, whoever said it's a perfect system?  Sure as hell not me.

I would like to float a "rule" of my own though.  Some jerk reviewing Last Chance (the third Stacey Chance book) was whining about "correct pronoun use in prepositional phrases."  And my thought was:  you really except Stacey to have perfect grammar?  I don't know how you could read all three books and not get that Stacey (and Steve before her) was anything but a Rhodes scholar.  Steve never went to college and as is indicated a few times, his police reports were almost incomprehensible.  Stacey finally graduates college with a degree in music but even then it was a state college and she had about a C grade point average.  Nowhere in her background does it suggest that she should have perfect grammar.  If anything I should add bad grammar into it to make that clear.  So when you're reading first-person, don't whine because the grammar isn't perfect when that narrator isn't a professional writer.  Customer reviews are going to be the death of me.  (That and bad cholesterol and high blood pressure.)

Tomorrow's Comics Recap features zombies, cannibals, vampires, Death, and a talking frog!  You won't want to miss that.

Monday, November 11, 2013

Box Office Blitz Week 18 Results

Basically this weekend it was Thor 2...and then a bunch of other stuff.  But the final official results read thusly:

Thor 2 $85.7M
Bad Grandpa $11.3M
Free Birds $11.1M

My Bad Picks were:
  1. Thor 2 (duh) $85M
  2. Ender's Game $12M
  3. Bad Grandpa $10M
That's 200 for Thor 2 and 100 for Grandpa for 300 points

Rusty was a mere $150,000 away from getting the trifecta:
Thor - $90 mil
Bad Grandpa - $13 mil
Last Vegas - $10 mil

That's 200 for Thor 2 and 300 for Bad Grandpa for 500 points.

David Walton picked:
1. Thor $82M
2. Ender's Game $14M
3. Last Vegas $12m

That's 200 for Thor 2

Michael Offutt picked:
1) Thor $90 Million
2) Ender's Game $9 million
3) Bad Grandpa $8 million

Which is also 300 points

Andrew Leon picked:
1. Thor -- $91m
2. About Time -- $13m
3. Ender's Game -- $12m

Which is also 200 points

Maurice Mitchell picked:
1. Thor: the Dark World $140M
2. Ender's Game $12M
3. Bad Grandpa $10M

That's also 300 points

And Chris Dilloway picked:
Thor 2 - $84m
Grandpa - $13
Ender - $12

That's 500 points between Thor/Grandpa and since he's closer on Thor than Rusty, he gets the 300 bonus points too for 800 total.

The scoreboard looks like this with just 3 weeks left in the regular season:
 

Box Office Blitz


Scoreboard


Season 2



18 Total
1 Rusty Carl 500 12000
2 David Walton 200 10400
3 Chris Dilloway 800 10200
4 Maurice Mitchell 300 9100
5 Andrew Leon 200 8900
6 PT Dilloway 300 8700
7 Michael Offutt 300 6100
8 Briane Pagel 0 5700
9 PK Hrezo  0 600


2600 71700

Rusty has all but mathematically won the regular season, but second and third place are still up for grabs.   Me, Maurice, and Andrew are still jockeying for position while Michael and Briane continue their duel for the Sacko.

Comic Captions 11/11/13

NOTE:  There are like 5 movies vying for 2nd and 3rd behind Thor 2 so we'll do the Box Office Blitz scores tonight.

It's time for another Comic Captions, where your job is to recaption a comic book panel.  The goal of course is to make it as humorous as possible.

This week's comes from Brightest Day #19


I'll go first
Black Manta: Hey, need a hand?  Yuk, yuk, yuk.
Now it's your turn!

Saturday, November 9, 2013

NaNoWhineMo Week 1

I just about punted on the first weekend of NaNoWriMo last week.  I managed about 7,500 words but that was about 60% of what I
could have done if I hadn't been so lazy.  On a typical writing Saturday the schedule lines up like this:

9-9:30ish Waking up, getting breakfast, etc.
10-10:30ish to 12:30ish Writing
12:30ish-2ish Lunch
2:30ish-6ish Writing
6ish-7ish Dinner
7ish-10ish Writing

The hours vary in the summer where I might wait until 7-8pm to go take a walk or play around with my basketball or something and then get a little snack at 9-10ish instead of a real dinner.

Anyway, last week I woke up late and wound up blowing off the morning session.  Then after lunch I wandered aimlessly in the car for the better part of an hour looking for a post office so I didn't even start writing until about 3.  Then I stopped at 5 to go to the park to get some final fall color pictures, which meant I didn't get back to writing again until 7ish and then went until about 9:30.  So really I only wrote for about 4 hours that day and then a couple more on Sunday thanks to that whole daylight savings time thing providing an "extra hour."

And then I was lazy and didn't do anything else until Thursday when I wrote about 1900 words at work instead of actually working.  I guess after a couple of weeks off it takes some effort to get the discipline (such as it ever is) back.  This is why too I never can make an exercise regimen work.

So this Saturday have to come back at it with renewed determination.  Like actually getting out of bed before 10am.  The horror!

When perhaps I should have been writing, I was dicking around on The Sims 3 to make rough drafts of the League of Evil.

First there's a pretty ordinary guy known as Hitter because he's a top-notch assassin.  He pretty much just wears a suit:

 


Then there's Ion Man who as you might expect looks like Tony Stark, only he's an evil Tony Stark.  He should have an Iron Man suit but I'm pretty sure you can't get one of those just yet, so this is what he looks like without it:


And then we have Killer Whale, who is the older brother of Mermaid/Queen Neptune of the Super Squad.  As befits his name his suit is black with white highlights:



And lastly there's Neanderthal who is just what his name implies, a modern-day caveman who is sort of an Incredible Hulk.  I think in the Sims 2 you could do more with the forehead to make it more caveman-y, but this was the best I could do:



And just for Tony Laplume I figured out how to sort of make Sims 3 characters smile:

Next week you can see the Super Squad Auxiliary who are basically the above characters as girls.  You can try to imagine what that looks like.

Friday, November 8, 2013

Missing You Blogfest & Box Office Blitz Week 18

Today is Andrew Leon's Missing You Blogfest where you're supposed to talk about a blogger or two who you've been missing.  So here's a roll call of blogs that haven't been updated in a while:

A Simple Writing Machine - on hiatus now for over a year!  I reckon he ain't coming back.
Blogging Chasness - idle for over 3 months now.  I follow him on Facebook because he has some neat photos.

Lisa M Potts - Almost 2 years and counting.  I knew her from a writing message board.  She was one of two occasional readers of my Wordpress blog its first year.  I still see her around Goodreads sometimes.
The Interrupted Writer - Almost 7 months now.  Also knew him from a writing message board.  His book A Heart Lies Within Us was good.

It's always sad how people can disappear from your online life so much easier than your offline one.  It's like when a morning news show or radio show changes people and you never hear anything about it, just one day you turn it on and there's different people there and you think, What the Hell?  By the same token a blog might update steadily for a while and then POOF it just stops for one reason or another.

If you got one go pour a 40 on the curb for those blogs that have fallen.


And now it's time for Box Office Blitz!  You're pretty much guaranteed 200 points this week unless you're a complete idiot and don't know what #1 will be this week.  Here's a hint:  it's a movie about a Norse god with a hammer.  I know that doesn't really narrow it down, does it?  You'll just have to strain your brain to figure it out.  I'm sure my sisters will be first in line to see it.  I'm not much of a Thor fan myself.  He's probably my third-favorite Avenger behind Captain America and Iron Man but just ahead of the Hulk who especially in the movies is pretty much a one-note character, which is probably why his movie franchise failed twice.  A Norse god fighting evil in the 21st Century seems a little goofy to me.  Given all the weird shit I do in the Scarlet Knight series that's probably saying something.

Anyway, here's the list of movies from my local megaplex (* denotes a new release)

12 Years a Slave*
About Time*
All is Lost*
Captain Phillips
Carrie
Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs 2
Diana*
Ender's Game
Escape Plan
Free Birds
Great Expectations*
Gravity
Jackass: Bad Grandpa
Last Vegas
Prisoners
Pulling Strings*
Rush
The Counselor
The Invertible Defeat of Mister & Pete*
Thor: The Dark World*

 And I'll pick
  1. Thor 2 (duh) $85M
  2. Ender's Game $12M
  3. Bad Grandpa $10M
I'd look for movies like "12 Years a Slave" to pick up as awards season kicks in but obviously it's going to get crushed by Thor, which is already #1 in the rest of the world.  I honestly can't tell you much about the rest of those new movies except Mister & Pete, which I saw a preview for.  Again it's another that might get more traffic if it gets some award nominations.  BTW, an odd fact is the theater I use to get my lists from still shows pretty much a full slate of "Despicable Me 2" despite that it was released back in July!  That is staying power.

And now you can make your picks in the comments!

Thursday, November 7, 2013

Thursday Review: Book Report 2013

Just 2 of 200 books I read this year!
When I started the year I set my Goodreads book goal at 50 books.  It soon became clear I'd get through that pretty quick, so I upped it to 100 and then 150 and then finally 200.  Last week I reached #200!  I should probably set it higher, but I don't feel like it.

My sister would be quick to point out that a lot of these books are shorter.  Some like Rusty's "My Killbot Buddy" are probably 20 pages or so.  And there are quite a few graphic novels too.  But hey, if it's on there as a book, then it's a book.  So there.  Of course some books weren't on there and I had to add them--looking at Briane Pagel and Tony Laplume--so I could get credit for them.

My sister would also whine that reading my own books is "cheating."  I don't ever understand that.  If I'm reading the book why should it matter if I wrote it or not?  Believe it or not, I don't have my books memorized, especially those I wrote like 15 years ago.  I'd also point out it actually takes longer to read one of my own books because I have to stop to add notes when I find a typo or something like that.  Some of my own books I read more than once to edit them, which would mean technically I've read more than 200 at this point.  It occurred to me that she probably thinks my books aren't real books, not like all those trashy romances she reads; those are real books.

Besides the graphic novels and my own books, most of what I read this year came from Amazon sales.  I hardly ever paid more than $3.99 for a book.  I think the only ones I did were because I had a gift card.  Most of the James Bond ones I rented for free off Amazon.  What annoys me is that Amazon lets me rent as many movies as I want with my Prime membership but I get one measly book a month.  The Bond books are all less than 300 pages so they only take a couple of days, which means I spend about 3 weeks of the month not able to rent anything when I'd like to.  I wish Amazon would lighten up on this policy and let me borrow a few more a month if I so choose, but then I suppose they'd have to add more to their KDP pot.

Given the nature of Amazon's sales you'll note that I read a lot of Arthur C. Clarke and Kurt Vonnegut.  I guess the royalties on those were pretty cheap so that they were frequently on sale.  Which was fine with me.  I'd wanted to read more Vonnegut and I had been interested in some Clarke.  IMHO, Clarke is OK but not great.  If you read enough of them they start to get a same-y feel to them.  In his short stories especially he seemed fascinated with apocalyptic scenarios where the Earth (or another planet) is either dying or already dead.  His Tales of the White Hart is one of the best ones because many of the stories are pretty funny, as are some of the moments between stories when pub patrons are giving each other the business over their stories; imagine "Cheers" only if they were all scientists and/or inventors.

To tally it up then the authors I read the most this year were:
  • P.T. Dilloway (14, plus more under aliases) (narcissist) 
  • Arthur C. Clarke (7)
  • Ian Fleming (7)
  • Kurt Vonnegut (5)
  • William Shatner (5)

And the leader for graphic novels was Laplume's favorite Grant Morrison with 8.

I'll probably read 2 more Flemings and I have a couple more Vonneguts on my Kindle to maybe read between now and December 31.
Definitely a lot of old timey stuff in there.

The average score was 4.06 stars, it's 3.92 stars without all my books that I give 5 stars since who else will?  There were only 3 I gave 1 star:
  • Ultimate Comics Captain America    Aaron, Jason
  • The Price of Fear (Darkman, #2)    Boyll, Randall
  • Accidents Waiting to Happen    Wood, Simon

So any whiny author who wants to complain what a jerk I am for not loving their book, there you go.  One book has 0 stars but I think I forgot to rate it when I marked it finished, so it doesn't count.  I'll explain why I didn't like the Captain America one in this month's Comics Recap.  The Darkman was just awful.  It seriously seemed the author had never watched the movie.  Or maybe watched it once.  He didn't seem to really understand the characters at all.  The depiction of Robert G. Durant wearing flashy pimp suits was all wrong and there's no way Darkman would dress up like the mortal enemy who ruined his life just for a little stroll around town.  C'mon man!  I think even in 1994 when I was 16 I could have wrote a better Darkman book.  The other one was just really dumb.  It was the kind of book where everyone in it was so stupid you wished they would all die.  The hitman especially was ridiculous.  Like I said in my Goodreads review, the point of a hitman is to kill someone quickly and quietly.  You don't do that by menacing your target for weeks like Robert Mitchum in "Cape Fear."  Idiot.

As for the best, I'll pick three you probably haven't heard of and are not by me or people I know to avoid hurt feelings.

Transmigration    McIntosh, J.T.
Being a huge narcissist, I think I liked this because I saw a lot of myself in the story.  By that I mean the author approached this subject pretty much as I would have.  It's about a guy who finds as he's dying that he can leap into the mind of someone nearby.  The cool thing to me is McIntosh doesn't shy away from gender issues as the first person the guy leaps into is a mentally-challenged girl.  Later he leaps into a young guy, a middle-aged guy, an old guy, a girl who was a student of his, and a little boy.  So really, like me he didn't do it the boring way of just having him leap into guys about his own age.  Since this was written in the 60s it was probably risque to think of a guy sharing a mind with a girl.  I suppose I couldn't help liking an author who also used fake initials and probably hardly anyone had heard of.


Emperor Mollusk versus the Sinister Brain    Martinez, A. Lee
What I liked about this book is that Martinez sets it in an old-timey Buck Rogers/Flash Gordon-type universe where there are aliens pretty much on every planet of our system.  Emperor Mollusk is from Neptune but rules the Earth.  Not in the way a despot might rule it either.  That's the other thing I liked is that Mollusk is clever and while also narcissistic, he doesn't let that become a liability for him the way comic book villains and the like do.  He's a smart villain who in the context of the story is the hero.  Basically if you combine "Megamind" with "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" this is what you'd get.


Big Maria    Shaw, Johnny
This is one of those I picked up on a sale on Amazon and wasn't sure if it'd be good or not.  It was a lot better than I expected.  Basically three losers in a desert town that made me think of "My Name is Earl" set out to find buried treasure on a weapons test range.  Needless to say that creates problems.  What I liked is that it's funny but at the same time the characters aren't all cutous.  By the end of the book they really have formed a bond despite their differences in age and race.  It's not necessarily a touchy-feely Hallmark or Lifetime movie but you are rooting for the characters.

Now then here's the complete list, which Blogger will probably make look like crap.


# Title Author l-f My Rating Date Read
1 Up So Down Pagel, Briane 5 1/8/2013
2 Change of Heart (Tales of the Scarlet Knight #4) Dilloway, P.T. 5 1/12/2013
3 Batman: Arkham Asylum Morrison, Grant 4 1/14/2013
4 Betrayal Begets Blood (Tales of the Scarlet Knight 5) Dilloway, P.T. 5 1/22/2013
5 TekWar Shatner, William 4 1/25/2013
6 TekLords Shatner, William 4 1/31/2013
7 TekLab Shatner, William 4 2/6/2013
8 Future Shock (Tales of the Scarlet Knight,  #6) Dilloway, P.T. 5 2/9/2013
9 Tek Vengeance Shatner, William 4 2/13/2013
10 Living Sacrifice (Tales of the Scarlet Knight #7) Dilloway, P.T. 5 2/13/2013
11 Tek Secret Shatner, William 4 2/16/2013
12 The Con Man (87th Precinct, #4) McBain, Ed 2 2/20/2013
13 The New Deadwardians Abnett, Dan 4 2/20/2013
14 Letters to Psyche Almazan, Sandra Ulbrich 5 2/20/2013
15 The Heart of Emma Earl (Tales of the Scarlet Knight #8) Dilloway, P.T. 5 2/20/2013
16 ThunderSnow Borgne, Cindy 5 2/21/2013
17 A Drop of the Hard Stuff (Matthew Scudder #17) Block, Lawrence 3 2/23/2013
18 Chance of a Lifetime (Chances Are #1) Dilloway, P.T. 5 2/23/2013
19 Blackcollar Zahn, Timothy 3 2/28/2013
20 Second Chance (Chances Are #2) Dilloway, P.T. 5 2/28/2013
21 Last Chance (Chances Are #3) Dilloway, P.T. 5 3/2/2013
22 The Backlash Mission Zahn, Timothy 3 3/4/2013
23 Wicked Game Johnson, Tiny 4 3/4/2013
24 Twinned Universes (Catalyst Chronicles, #2) Almazan, Sandra Ulbrich 5 3/6/2013
25 Human Sacrifices Other Tales Johnson, Tiny 5 3/6/2013
26 Blood Sacrifices The Curse of Tabla Diabla Johnson, Tiny 5 3/7/2013
27 Perfect Worlds:  The Stone of Change Johnson, Tiny 5 3/8/2013
28 Batman and Robin, Vol. 1: Batman Reborn Morrison, Grant 5 3/8/2013
29 Batman and Robin, Vol. 3: Batman and Robin Must Die! Morrison, Grant 4 3/9/2013
30 Batman and Robin, Vol. 2: Batman vs. Robin Morrison, Grant 5 3/9/2013
31 Visionary of Peace (Vallar Series Book 2) Borgne, Cindy 5 3/10/2013
32 The Backworlds (Book 1) Pax, M. 5 3/10/2013
33 Dead Links Mitchell, Nigel G. 5 3/11/2013
34 Eve Eden vs. the Blood Sucking Vampires (Bedeviled, #2) Korb, Suz 5 3/12/2013
35 Women of Foxwick (The Foxwick Chronicles) Reich, Cherie 5 3/12/2013
36 Dioscuri Thoma, Chrystalla 5 3/13/2013
37 Whores: not intended to be a factual account of the gender war Wilson, Nicolas 5 3/13/2013
38 The Spur - Loki's Rock Ellis, Mark 4 3/15/2013
39 The Unforgetting Mounfield, Jenny 4 3/15/2013
40 Protector (Anniversary of the Veil, #1) Smythe, Vanna 4 3/15/2013
41 Batman Incorporated, Vol. 1  Morrison, Grant 4 3/16/2013
42 Deadeye Dick Vonnegut, Kurt 5 3/16/2013
43 Mother Night Vonnegut, Kurt 5 3/17/2013
44 Casino Royale Fleming, Ian 4 3/18/2013
45 The Pleasure of My Company Martin, Steve 4 3/19/2013
46 Ubik Dick, Philip K. 5 3/19/2013
47 A Coming of Age Zahn, Timothy 3 3/20/2013
48 Brave New World Huxley, Aldous 4 3/21/2013
49 Mercury Rises Kroese, Robert 2 3/22/2013
50 We Are Now - Flash Fiction Collection Craven, Sean 5 3/22/2013
51 Passion Blue Strauss, Victoria 3 3/23/2013
52 The Hangman's Daughter (The Hangman's Daughter #1) Pötzsch, Oliver 2 3/24/2013
53 Batman: Knightfall, Vol. 2: Knightquest (New Edition) Dixon, Chuck 4 3/25/2013
54 Fahrenheit 451 Bradbury, Ray 5 3/25/2013
55 Wool Omnibus (Silo, #1; Wool, #1-5) Howey, Hugh 3 3/27/2013
56 Nate in Venice Russo, Richard 3 3/28/2013
57 Moby-Dick Melville, Herman 2 3/29/2013
58 Spinneret Zahn, Timothy 3 4/2/2013
59 First Contact (Rebirth #1) Filler, Eric 4 4/3/2013
60 The Savior (Rebirth #2) Filler, Eric 4 4/5/2013
61 The Baby Blue Rip-Off Collins, Max Allan 4 4/7/2013
62 The Final Battle (Rebirth #3) Filler, Eric 4 4/7/2013
63 Snuff (Discworld, #39) Pratchett, Terry 4 4/10/2013
64 The Shrinking Man Matheson, Richard 5 4/11/2013
65 Small Town Hero Stank, Jessica 4 4/13/2013
66 Crisis on Infinite Earths Wolfman, Marv 4 4/14/2013
67 Vampire Pond Swanson, Peter Joseph 4 4/16/2013
68 ALLIANCE Stank, Jessica 4 4/18/2013
69 American Goddesses Henry, Gary R. 3 4/19/2013
70 Cypress Lake Basara, Joe 4 4/23/2013
71 Project Mayhem (Mouldwarp Press Presents) Dilloway, P.T. 5 4/23/2013
72 Yoshimi and the Shadow Clan (Yoshimi Trilogy) Laplume, Tony 4 4/25/2013
73 Tales from the White Hart (Arthur C. Clarke Collection: Short Stories) Clarke, Arthur C. 5 4/26/2013
74 Perfect Worlds Part 2:  Game of Hearts Johnson, Tiny 5 4/26/2013
75 Sale Day at C Mart Basara, Joe 5 4/30/2013
76 The Death of Ivan Ilych Tolstoy, Leo 5 5/1/2013
77 Infinite Crisis Johns, Geoff 4 5/2/2013
78 Sidekick Misadventures of the new Scarlet Knight Sungenis, Pab 4 5/2/2013
79 Superhero (An Action Thriller) Methos, Victor 4 5/6/2013
80 Ham on Rye Bukowski, Charles 5 5/8/2013
81 Chet Finley vs. The Machines of Fate Filler, Eric 5 5/8/2013
82 Sinai Smethurst, William 4 5/14/2013
83 The Evil That Men Do Leon, Andrew 5 5/14/2013
84 Emperor Mollusk versus the Sinister Brain Martinez, A. Lee 5 5/16/2013
85 Liberation Front Madden, Paul L. 5 5/20/2013
86 Going Home Carl, Rusty 5 5/22/2013
87 JLA, Vol. 2: American Dreams Morrison, Grant 4 5/29/2013
88 JLA, Vol. 1: New World Order Morrison, Grant 5 5/29/2013
89 Justice League, Vol. 1: Origin Johns, Geoff 5 5/30/2013
90 The Cloak of Shrouded Men: Escapades of the Eidolon, Cotton Colinaude Laplume, Tony 3 6/3/2013
91 The Leading Men Madden, Paul L. 5 6/4/2013
92 Expedition To Earth Clarke, Arthur C. 5 6/5/2013
93 Flying Saucers Mitchell, Nigel G. 5 6/6/2013
94 Graffiti Grandma Barney, Jo 4 6/7/2013
95 The Naked World Madden, Paul L. 4 6/11/2013
96 Deadfolk Williams, Charlie 3 6/12/2013
97 The Gravy Train Lender, David 4 6/13/2013
98 Superman for All Seasons Loeb, Jeph 5 6/13/2013
99 Batman/Superman/Wonder Woman: Trinity Wagner, Matt 5 6/14/2013
100 Superman: For Tomorrow, Vol. 2 Azzarello, Brian 4 6/15/2013
101 Superman: For Tomorrow, Vol. 1 Azzarello, Brian 5 6/15/2013
102 Once Bitten Leather, Stephen 3 6/17/2013
103 The Best Light Madden, Paul L. 5 6/17/2013
104 Starfire: A Vince Lombard Story Lee, Mike 3 6/19/2013
105 Higher Power Lachance, Claire 4 6/19/2013
106 A Necessary Innocence Filler, Eric 5 6/23/2013
107 Sandman Slim (Sandman Slim #1) Kadrey, Richard 4 6/24/2013
108 The Turning Barwell, Mark 2 6/26/2013
109 Doctor No Fleming, Ian 4 6/28/2013
110 Goldfinger Fleming, Ian 4 7/3/2013
111 The Last Conquest Filler, Eric 5 7/3/2013
112 Captain America, Vol. 2 Brubaker, Ed 4 7/4/2013
113 Captain America, Vol. 1 Brubaker, Ed 4 7/4/2013
114 Hit Me Block, Lawrence 4 7/8/2013
115 Perfect Worlds Part 3:  Secret of the Stone Johnson, Tiny 5 7/8/2013
116 Captain America, Vol. 3 Brubaker, Ed 3 7/9/2013
117 Captain America, Vol. 4 Brubaker, Ed 5 7/9/2013
118 The Year of the Jackpot Heinlein, Robert A. 4 7/10/2013
119 Who Goes There? Jr., John W. Campbell 4 7/10/2013
120 Gun, With Occasional Music Lethem, Jonathan 5 7/10/2013
121 The Songs Of Distant Earth Clarke, Arthur C. 3 7/12/2013
122 From Russia With Love Fleming, Ian 3 7/12/2013
123 Fates Worse Than Death Vonnegut, Kurt 5 7/16/2013
124 Raylan (Raylan Givens, #3) Leonard, Elmore 2 7/17/2013
125 Big Maria Shaw, Johnny 5 7/19/2013
126 The Pain Scale Dilts, Tyler 2 7/24/2013
127 Getting Off: A Novel of Sex and Violence (Hard Case Crime #69) Block, Lawrence 5 7/25/2013
128 Miss Otis regrets. And other short stories Moitzi, Dieter 4 7/26/2013
129 Reach for Tomorrow Clarke, Arthur C. 3 7/27/2013
130 Girl Power Dilloway, P.T. 5 7/28/2013
131 2001: A Space Odyssey (Space Odyssey, #1) Clarke, Arthur C. 4 7/29/2013
132 A Drink Before the War (Kenzie & Gennaro #1) Lehane, Dennis 4 8/1/2013
133 Flashpoint Johns, Geoff 4 8/2/2013
134 The Incredible Hulk: Planet Hulk Pak, Greg 4 8/3/2013
135 The Incredible Hulk: Prelude To Planet Hulk Way, Daniel 4 8/3/2013
136 World War Hulk Pak, Greg 3 8/4/2013
137 World War Hulk: The Incredible Hercules Pak, Greg 4 8/4/2013
138 The Fort Davis, Aric 4 8/5/2013
139 Live and Let Die Fleming, Ian 4 8/7/2013
140 Lost Horizon Hilton, James 0 8/8/2013
141 POWERED Young, Cheyanne 5 8/10/2013
142 The Hangman (Darkman, #1) Boyll, Randall 3 8/11/2013
143 The Avengers, Vol. 1 Bendis, Brian Michael 3 8/13/2013
144 Something Wicked This Way Comes Bradbury, Ray 5 8/13/2013
145 The Sex Gates (Sex Gates, #1) Bain, Darrell 2 8/15/2013
146 Ultimate Comics Spider-Man  Volume 1 Bendis, Brian Michael 5 8/18/2013
147 Childhood's End Clarke, Arthur C. 3 8/20/2013
148 Transmigration McIntosh, J.T. 5 8/21/2013
149 Factotum Bukowski, Charles 4 8/23/2013
150 Temporary Anne Pagel, Briane 5 8/28/2013
151 Women Bukowski, Charles 3 8/30/2013
152 Hitter Guarino, Daryn 4 9/4/2013
153 Solaris Lem, StanisÃ…‚aw 4 9/6/2013
154 Captain America: Winter Soldier, Volume 2 Brubaker, Ed 4 9/8/2013
155 New X-Men, Vol. 1: E is for Extinction Morrison, Grant 4 9/8/2013
156 The Confessions of Max Tivoli Greer, Andrew Sean 4 9/10/2013
157 Moonraker Fleming, Ian 3 9/12/2013
158 The Man in the High Castle Dick, Philip K. 4 9/13/2013
159 The Price of Fear (Darkman, #2) Boyll, Randall 1 9/15/2013
160 The Gods of Hell (Darkman, #3) Boyll, Randall 3 9/18/2013
161 Overdraft: The Orion Offensive Miller, John Jackson 3 9/18/2013
162 Flight from Rebirth McIntosh, J.T. 5 9/19/2013
163 In the Face of Death (Darkman, #4) Boyll, Randall 3 9/22/2013
164 Justice: Volume 2 Krueger, Jim 4 9/22/2013
165 Justice, Vol. 1 Krueger, Jim 4 9/22/2013
166 Justice: Volume 3 Krueger, Jim 5 9/23/2013
167 My Killbot Buddy Carl, Rusty 5 9/24/2013
168 Jailbird Vonnegut, Kurt 5 9/24/2013
169 The Sisters Brothers deWitt, Patrick 4 9/26/2013
170 Pull Yourself Together Glavinic, Thomas 5 9/28/2013
171 Batman: Hush Loeb, Jeph 4 9/29/2013
172 Lex Luthor: Man of Steel Azzarello, Brian 5 9/29/2013
173 The Hitman's Guide to Housecleaning Helgason, Hallgrímur 3 9/30/2013
174 Accidents Waiting to Happen Wood, Simon 1 10/1/2013
175 Earthlight Clarke, Arthur C. 3 10/2/2013
176 Slapstick Vonnegut, Kurt 4 10/2/2013
177 Diamonds are Forever Fleming, Ian 4 10/4/2013
178 Sweet Tooth McEwan, Ian 2 10/6/2013
179 Pulp Bukowski, Charles 4 10/7/2013
180 Civil War Millar, Mark 5 10/7/2013
181 Fear Hubbard, L. Ron 4 10/8/2013
182 Fool Dillen, Frederick G. 4 10/9/2013
183 The Whole Bloody Affair (Yoshimi Trilogy) Laplume, Tony 4 10/10/2013
184 The Specialists Block, Lawrence 4 10/11/2013
185 Make Room! Make Room! Harrison, Harry 4 10/11/2013
186 The Status Civilization Sheckley, Robert 4 10/14/2013
187 Canada Ford, Richard 4 10/17/2013
188 The Impostors (Girl Power #2) Dilloway, P.T. 5 10/19/2013
189 Ultimate Comics Captain America Aaron, Jason 1 10/20/2013
190 Justice League of America, Vol. 1: World's Most Dangerous Johns, Geoff 3 10/20/2013
191 Marvel Universe vs. the Avengers Maberry, Jonathan 3 10/20/2013
192 Avengers Assemble Volume 1 Bendis, Brian Michael 4 10/20/2013
193 Marvel Universe vs. Wolverine Maberry, Jonathan 4 10/20/2013
194 Marvel Universe Vs. the Punisher Maberry, Jonathan 4 10/20/2013
195 Blood Makes Noise Widen, Gregory 3 10/22/2013
196 Sisterhood (Tales of the Coven) Dilloway, P.T. 5 10/22/2013
197 Breakfast at Tiffany's Capote, Truman 5 10/24/2013
198 Awakening (Birth of Magic #1) Dilloway, P.T. 5 10/26/2013
199 Wayne of Gotham Hickman, Tracy 3 10/29/2013
200 Star Shepherd Dilloway, P.T. 5 10/29/2013



Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Phony Photos: November

From the SIMply the Best calendar it's November's page!  This should be a pretty familiar face by now.  No, not Stacey Chance.  It's Emma Earl!  Why wait until November?  I don't know it just seemed appropriate for my birthday month.  So there.

You might notice Emma's hair in the left picture is a little different than how it used to be.  I just liked this style a little better.  On the right is Emma in her Scarlet Knight armor.  Of course the reds of her hair don't match.  There's not much I can do about that.  I mean "red" to some people means a lot of different shades.  It's kind of annoying.

This is a Sims 3/Sims Medieval version:


Next month is a holiday-themed one to wrap it all up!

Tomorrow is my book report for 2013!  Find out what were the best and worst books I've read all year.

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Two Cent Tuesday: Odeathon

From 11/2-11/9 is Tony Laplume's Odeathon blogfest.  I keep thinking of it as the Odinthon, though that would have an entirely different meaning; it would be appropriately timed with Thor 2 coming out on Friday.

The idea is to write an ode to your favorite author.  I already did that back in 2004 with a short story with a long name:  Spring in the Land of Broken Dreams.  It's an ode to the works of John Irving, chock full of references to his novels--as many as there were at the time.  If you're really familiar with his books you can probably find most of them.

Go over to Wattpad and read the story.  Then come back here and I'll give you the list of references--the conscious ones anyway.

In the meantime, here's some appropriate music to read by.


And now some spoiler space!  Here's the revised revised revised hopefully last edition of the cover to Girl Power:  The Impostors.  I realized the old version had all this space in the middle and the guy's ear kept bugging me because it was front and center.  so in the second one you can see how I cut the ear off by putting the girl's hair over it.  Now it looks more like she's standing in front of him, which gives it more of a 3D look so it's less flat.  The overlapping isn't seamless, but from a distance I don't think it's noticeable.
Before...
After


OK, so there's all the spoiler space in case you wanted to do this right and not just cheat to find the answers.

Anyway, here are all the John Irving book references in the short story:
  1. The fat, obnoxious Harriet is the type of overbearing girl found in The Cider House Rules, A Prayer for Owen Meaney, and Until I Found You (for starters)
  2. The author's name "Jack Colvin" is an amalgamation of Jack being another name for John, Col from Ted Cole in A Widow for One Year, and "vin" like IrVINg.  Lot of work went into that.
  3. The New England setting of the town is a staple of many Irving novels
  4. New Hampshire is the setting (obviously) for The Hotel New Hampshire
  5. The town of St. John's stems from St. Clouds in The Cider House Rules combined of course with the author's name
  6. The red Volvo would be like the one TS Garp drives in The World According to Garp, in which one son is killed and another blinded in a car accident
  7. The Black Angus cows behind a stone wall were mentioned in The World According to Garp when he went out jogging and was nearly killed by a crazed fan
  8. St. John's Academy is similar to those featured in many Irving books, all of them based off Exeter (and sometimes he gets lazy and just uses Exeter)
  9. The wrestling coach is based off the one in Hotel New Hampshire for the most part, but also probably some other books as wrestling is another staple
  10. The coach's name "Bob Wolf" is an amalgamation of the wrestling coach in Hotel New Hampshire and a literary agent in Garp
  11. The cannon with names of lovers on it is similar to one in The World According to Garp that became filled with condoms
  12. The Federal-style house on Fourth Street where the old lady lives is based off the one the narrator lives in in A Prayer for Owen Meaney
  13. The lady's surname "Berry" comes from Hotel New Hampshire
  14. The pictures on the wall is a reference to A Widow for One Year
  15. When she says a picture is "out of cleaning" it's the same excuse Eddie gives to young Ruth in A Widow for One Year
  16. Prostitutes are featured in many Irving books
  17. Bears are another Irving staple.  I couldn't wedge an actual bear in, so I used the bear-shaped door knocker as a substitute
  18. "Bogus" (used here for a dog) was the main character's nickname in The Water Method Man  
  19. The dog's breed comes from Hotel New Hampshire or The World According to Garp (or possibly both)
  20. Pooh-slinging with lacrosse sticks was featured in The Fourth Hand

So you can see I crammed a whole lot of references into my ode to John Irving.  There aren't specific references to a few books like Setting Free the Bears, The 158-Pound Marriage, or Son of the Circus but some of the general ones cover those.  I really would have liked to wedge in some mention of Vienna, Toronto, and India since those were locations of some of Irving's novels, but obviously I was a bit limited by the New England setting.  I think in an early draft I had someone from Vienna with a bear but I think I cut it because the story was getting too long.

And before you go and think I'm some creepy stalker, the whole point of this story is that you shouldn't meet your literary hero because you might find they aren't who you think they are.  The idea for that came when I read Irving's autobiography in Trying to Save Piggy Sneed and when he was writing about a visit to the White House during the Reagan era it occurred to me the author might be kind of a jerk.  I did write him eventually and he was very nice in his reply, so perhaps he's mellowed since then.

Have you ever thought of doing an homage to your favorite author?

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