Wednesday, August 29, 2012

A Hero's Journey: The Movie (Fake Trailer)

It's the fifth Wednesday of the month, which means I can post whatever the hell I want.  So I dug deep, back to something I posted on my first blog about 18 months ago.  I was trying to sleep and for some reason I got to visualizing a movie trailer for "A Hero's Journey."

I reworked that concept to make it better, I think anyway.  The obvious inspiration would be for the recent Batman movies:

Opening [after all the production company logos]:  scene from the flashback where Emma is 8 years old in the car with her parents.

EMMA'S MOM:  It will be all right, baby.
Cut to a card saying something like:
Bright light and then CRUNCH! they’re hit by another car.

Then we do a cut with a second of black and a burst of Hans Zimmer-like score that should probably accompany each cut.

After that a few seconds from near the end of the flashback where Emma kneels beside her mom lying facedown on the street in a pool of blood.

Do a quick cut to the front of the Plaine Museum of Natural History

And then inside, where Emma is in her lab and studying the evil black crate that looks like that thing in 2001.
            EMMA:  What are you?
Then she jerks back as the crate says in a demonic voice:  I am the one who can make them pay.

Another card that says something like:
Another cut to inside the museum during the fancy charity gala when there’s an explosion.

Another quick cut to when Emma is at the top of the steps to the third floor and sees the outline of the evil Black Dragoon.

Card saying something like: 
(because it's a blockbuster it has to be summer)

Another cut to inside the Sanctuary beneath the museum, where Emma is opening the red crate for the magic armor.   As she opens the crate and holds up the helmet
                  EMMA'S MOM (voiceover):  You have a great destiny ahead of you.

Card saying something like: 

Now we need a big final montage with dramatic music and action shots of Emma fighting various criminals and the Black Dragoon.

It ends with the Scarlet Knight and Black Dragoon squaring off in Executive Plaza
                 DRAGOON:  Your feeble plan has failed.
                 EMMA:  Not yet
Then she throws the Sword of Justice flying towards the screen and up comes the title:  A Hero’s Journey–in 3D! (Because everything has to be in 3D)

Throw in the final cards for credits/rating and the release date and we’re done!

Now tell me if I did that right you wouldn’t go see that movie.  Of course you would!  Unless you hate superhero movies, in which case it probably wouldn’t matter what it was.  If only I had a budget, I could film that for the most epic book trailer ever.
Fake poster too...


Being real about release date
Just for fun I got thinking then of how to do a trailer for a novel I have yet to query, Chance of a Lifetime.  If you followed the Grumpy Bulldog blog you might remember that one.  It's the one I posted all these pictures from.  If you still don't remember, tough cop Steve Fischer is injected with an experimental drug and then killed by a gangster.  He wakes up later as a young woman, taking on the name Stacey Chance, and then going to get revenge.  So here's how it would go in my head:

After all the production company titles and ratings warnings (this would be R-rated) and such we begin with a shot of a man (Steve Fischer) descending through dark water, his body limp and trailing blood.
                   STEVE (voiceover): This harbor is full of ghosts.

Steve Fischer
A couple of quick shots of Steve fighting gangster Artie Luther on a boat, until Luther injects Steve in the neck with a syringe full of pink stuff.  Then Luther shoots Steve and tosses him overboard.

Then cut back to Steve hitting the bottom of the harbor.
                   STEVE (voiceover): I should have been one of them.

Then we cut to someone emerging from the water, onto a dock.

Stacey Chance
And then we go closer up to see it's a naked young woman, Stacey Chance.
                   STACEY (voiceover):  But I got another chance.

[The "teaser" version would probably end there.  The full version would continue like so:  ]

Cut to Stacey in the apartment of Dr. Clarita Palmer, looking at some notes about the experimental drug.  Dr. Palmer gives a real bare bones description of the drug (FY-1978) and what it does.

Then we cut to a car, where Stacey is sitting with Steve's old partner, Jake Madigan.
                   JAKE: What are you going to do now?
                   STACEY:  I'm going to make them pay. 

So then we get a bunch of quick images of Stacey in a nightclub (attempting to look sexy), Stacey fighting a dude in a limo, Stacey in a warehouse office with a machine gun, Stacey in an office building hallway firing a know, action movie stuff.

We finish in Jake's study with him looking sternly at Stacey.
                   JAKE: I told you, no more of that Clint Eastwood stuff.
                   STACEY:  I promise.  From now on, I'll be a good girl.

And then we cut to one last shot of her driving the Madigan family station wagon wildly through the streets.  Followed by the title cards for whenever it would be released.

Doesn't that sound like a great movie too?  And another kick-ass book trailer.

Tomorrow I wrap up my rambling about Knightfall-related Batman comics with the Batman: Venom miniseries...


  1. Wow Pat. Those trailers sound awesome. Throwing something at the screen always works. Much less the Sword of Justice. I'm assuming when you say "naked woman" you're saying cloaked in shadows unless it's a red band trailer. Make these book trailers man!

  2. That's weird. My comment disappeared. Anyway. Great trailer ideas.

    1. Yeah for some reason Blogger's been marking your comments as Spam. Stupid Blogger.

    2. Same with me. I've been having to go and unspam them.

  3. OK, why does blogger keep wiping out the comments? It's very odd.

    Anyway, thank you Maurice Mitchell! Maybe I should get a Kickstarter campaign going to produce my epic book trailers.

  4. I saw your tweet so thought I'd come over. Of course, you probably don't see my tweets since you aren't following my account--care to reciprocate?

    Actually I am getting a bit weary of superhero movies, but I'd probably check yours out if it got to DVD. The second story sounds more intriguing to me.

    1. I'm pretty sure I'm following you on one of my other Twitter accounts.

  5. Some authors I know made their own trailers with a program called Windows Movie Maker (which is a free download). Maybe that could be your next step. But who knows, maybe your publisher will make one.

    1. I'm sure if they made one it would be terrible. Since they don't even provide ARCs I think book trailers are unlikely.

  6. The only hitch is the kitschy dialogue.

    1. I'm pretty sure most of that isn't actual dialog from the book, just approximations.



Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...