Friday, December 14, 2012

Holiday Blogfest: The Worst XMas Songs

This is another post that's part of Briane Pagel's holiday blogathon (of doom).  Today one random commenter gets his/her choice of a copy of my book A Hero's Journey or a copy of the book I co-wrote with Neil Vogler and Sean Craven, We Are Now.  If you already have both, give one to a friend!

As much as I enjoy Christmas music (something that did not change even after I stopped caring about organized religion) there are some songs I just hate.  Here's the list--with videos!

1.  Santa Baby:  Ugh, this song is just grating.  Madonna sucks.

2.  Feliz Navidad:  it's just the same thing over and over again!  Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year...I get it already!  Seriously, that's all the song is saying for like 3 minutes.

3.  Baby It's Cold Outside:  this might seem fine unless you really listen to the lyrics.  Basically it's a song about date rape.  I mean the girl keeps saying she wants to leave but the guy keeps saying, Naw, come on, stay a little longer and drink some of this booze while you're at it.  Pretty damned sleazy if you think about it.

4.  Happy XMas (War is Over):  This was fine when John Lennon did it, though it's still a pretty depressing song because War is NOT over, nor will it ever be until none of us are left.  But nowadays every assmunch "singer" has to have their own cover of it.  I mean by now that Gangam Style asshole probably has a version of it.  Lennon's got to be rolling over in his grave by now.

5.  Do They Know It's Christmastime?  Another well-meaning Christmas song, but also another with terrible lyrics.  I mean it's written about Africa and they're asking, do they know it's Christmas?  Well no, they don't because they're not freaking Christians!  Or at least most of them.  A lot of them are Muslims even, so they sure as shit don't celebrate Christmas.  And there won't be snow in Africa this Christmas...really?  Ya think in the freaking Sahara there won't be snow?  I should hope the hell not.

Anyway, those are the songs I prefer to hear not at all or maybe just every so often.  But never by that Gangam Style asshole, Madonna, Justin Bieber, or any other dipshit like that.  Ugh.

To even things out a little, here's one song I always enjoy:

Nothing says XMas like Goth weirdoes in black leather!

If you want to know some other music the Grumpy Bulldog enjoys, reread these posts from last year! This also includes my awesome XMas story:  A Grumpy Bulldog Christmas, wherein the Grumpy Bulldog saves the world by making sure it never has to see Prometheus--why didn't I follow through on that in real life?

Remember one commenter gets a copy of A Hero's Journey or We Are Now--your choice!

Monday is another Phony Photo...


  1. Great minds think alike! I just posted on Facebook about "Baby It's Cold Outside." It's totally about him putting Roofies in her drink.

    Don't forget Christina Aguilera - she loves to butcher any song. Christmas or National Anthem.

  2. A non-traditional favorite of mine is 'There's Something Stuck Up in the Chimney'.

    Talk about FOTFL

  3. Date tape and patronizing Muslims =Christmas in America. Nicely summarized. I keep thinking that the guy in Feliz Navidad ought to realize that HE ALREADY DID WISH ME A MERRY CHRISTMAS, when he said "Feliz Navidad" but maybe he doesn't speak Spanish.

  4. Well you named a few of the songs I dislike too, but Madonna's tops the list.

  5. The Xmas song that I dislike the most is "Grandma got run over by a reindeer." I just think that one sucks.

  6. Those first two you listed I can't stand no matter who sings them. They're just awful songs. And I agree with Michael's pick, too. I'm so tired of that one. And Jingle Bell Rock.

  7. Good list Pat. What I find interesting is that Madonna can't sing without that fake auto-tune. It makes me wonder if she's lost it.

  8. Thanks for the reminder that 'Boxing Day Eve' crap songs are amongst us. There is one they play over here called, "I wish it could be Christmas, every day" by "Wizzard". No thanks! I hate that song!

  9. My brother listened to "Feliz Navidad" on a loop for an incredibly long (eight hours) car trip one Christmas. A lot of pop songs repeat lyrics incessantly. You listen to this one because it's distinctive and fun. And for some people, addictive.

  10. Insert Inane comment here. :) I wanted to add "Did you know Michael Buble does a cover of Santa Baby? I heard it and was pleasantly surprised.



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