Tantrums Can Be Fun, But Also Counterproductive

 Last month I noticed this "review" of Presto Change-O by Eric Filler that was posted in May and really says nothing about the actual book.  Instead it's just a rant about "ads," which really is just one ad for my newsletter that literally takes one swipe or click to scroll past.  Below you can see the "review" and how the ad looks on a computer screen:

And here's what it looks like on my Kindle:

This is at least the third person to rant about this and it's always kind of funny that someone expends so much effort to complain about what is again one swipe or click.  This Karen kicks it up a notch by calling me stupid and threatening to give another book a lower rating.

Like others this also misstates the facts.  It's not "ads" plural; it is just one ad.  Comparing it to a comic book is pretty silly as again it's for a free book if you sign up for my newsletter; I'm not trying to sell you X-ray specs or sea monkeys.

I suppose if I could talk to this person, he'd say it's the principle of the thing.  You shouldn't advertise in books!  So where do I advertise then?  It's not like I can afford billboards, TV ads, and so on.  Like another rant this one says it should be in the back, ostensibly so Karen here doesn't have to see it.  Hence why it's not in the back anymore.  Duh.  The fact people rant about it means they're seeing it, which is the most important part of advertising.

The thing is, shit like this might make you feel better, but it's really ineffective.  Sometimes when I'm opening mail at work, I'll get someone's screed against our company.  (There are also a few posted on Google as "questions.")  Sometimes it gets personal like one that inexplicably called us "heathens" and "cavemen."  I don't really know what that's about, but unless you put a check with it, I just toss it out or pass it on to someone else who'll maybe put a note in the file.  No one really gives a shit.  (The same goes for more benign things like someone who writes Bible verses and shit all over her envelope and one who used to write these lengthy personal letters to the owner--who is semi-retired and barely ever in the office.)  It's a business; no amount of name-calling and tantrum-throwing is going to change things.  You think calling us names is going to make us say, "Oh gee, I guess we'll just close your account."  Or maybe we'll just close down because you think it's immoral.  (And maybe the Lions will win the Super Bowl this season.)

Besides making yourself feel better, sometimes I suppose it's about making you feel like you have power over the situation.  One time someone sent in a note saying for every day we didn't call him back, he was going to deduct $10 from his balance.  Ooh, scary.  It was a pretty comical threat because there was no way any judge would go along with something so arbitrary.

Recently, Kroger started to send checks into work with ads on the back on them.  Not even Kroger ads but ads for life insurance and junk like that.  Now that sounds worse than what I'm doing.  I mean I'm doing it to drum up business for my newsletter and books in general; Kroger is doing this for...what?  Do they get a kickback for putting ads on the back of vendor checks?  I guess that offsets the postage and paper cost?

A grumpy bulldog like me knows tantrums can make you feel better about stupid shit, but when viewed rationally from the outside, it's usually pretty lame.  Because it's not effective.  If anything it's counter-productive.  You call me stupid and make stupid threats, I'm far LESS likely to give you what you want vs if you ask nicely.  If you ask nicely and provide a good reason why scrolling past one screen is too much effort for you, maybe I'll concede the point and remove the ad.

Or you could, I don't know, grow the fuck up and realize what the Rolling Stones said a long time ago:

Suck it, haters.