The idea was that this movie studio guy named Otis (because so many studio execs are named after the town drunk from Andy Griffith) sees an android in a brothel in the year 2025 and so he decides to replace his star in a movie with an android.
A weird contrivance is that the android can't do the actress's voice, so he tricks the real her into dubbing the part. This was the first plot hole. It's 2025 and they can't synthesize a voice? They already did that for Roger Ebert back in 2010 or so. After his jaw was wired shut after surgery a company used clips from his TV show and interviews and stuff to synthesize his former voice on a computer. So if they could do that in 2010 why can't they do that in 2025? I mean if you're trying to create the voice of a famous actress then obviously there's footage of her speaking all over the place: movies, interviews, awards shows, and so on. Duh.
Then really the whole premise wouldn't fly legally. I mean you can't just make an android to look like a living person and claim it's that real person in your movie. I can't just make an android of George Clooney and make Ocean's 14 or The American 2: Electric Boogaloo and say George Clooney is actually in the movie. I'd get my ass handed to me in court for using his likeness and falsely claiming he was in my movie. So the actress in this story would have plenty of legal recourse--unless Otis tricks her into signing a waiver.
Stop me if I'm wrong, but I think even with dead people you have to contact their estate to get the rights. Like with Rogue One when they used zombie Tarkin, I'm sure they had to contact Peter Cushing's estate and get permission--and maybe pony up some dough. If it's someone historical like Lincoln or JFK then probably not, but I'm pretty sure you do if you're going to create a digital or robotic Elvis or Michael Jackson or Marilyn Monroe or someone like that.
So the whole premise of the story doesn't make sense! I guess like I said about bad movies, bad stories can follow their own faulty dream logic. But really before you're getting a query ready, you should probably make sure your story premise actually makes sense. I doubt this dude will go change anything, though clearly he needs to.
As I like to do with movies, I rewrote the idea to improve it. In this case to eliminate the weaknesses I saw:
You don't want to hear it, but just for my own amusement here's how I'd rewrite your story to eliminate the problems I see.
Otis (though could we get a better name? I keep thinking of the drunk on Andy Griffith) has finally acquired the rights to [some big superhero property] incumbent upon he casts the property owner's favorite actress, Lola, also known as "The Blonde Barracuda." That night Otis goes to see Lola and immediately sees a big problem: she's pregnant! And she says the baby is his.
Otis is considering his options (cancelling the movie and being fired, trying a body double, using a motion-capture suit) while getting drunk at a local watering hole. He starts to hit on the hot female bartender only to find out she's an android! Otis asks the owner of the place where he got the android. Then he calls up his long-suffering assistant Elizabeth to get him an android that looks like Lola.
Elizabeth has served Otis for years and even gotten an expensive makeover to try to get some interest, but still he sees her only as a go-fer. She goes to the android factory and decides she'll sabotage Otis by ordering a refurbished android. She figures when the project flopped and Otis is ruined, he'll need a shoulder to cry on--hers. When the android arrives at the studio it looks like Lola but the voice system is damaged. With filming set to begin soon, there's no way the android can be repaired or a replacement purchased in time. Elizabeth secret celebrates, but she's thwarted when Otis gets an idea.
He goes to Lola and asks her to dub in her real voice for the android's lines. In exchange Otis will acknowledge their child and sign a very unfair child support agreement.
It seems like the project is saved, but as production begins, Elizabeth continues trying to sabotage things at every turn, until finally ratting Otis out about the android. He has to work a little studio magic to convince reporters that the android is a real person.
Enraged, Elizabeth tries to kill Otis, but is stopped by Lola. By the time of the premiere, Otis and Lola are together and Elizabeth is thinking up ways to sabotage them from her jail cell.I actually thought of how to use this for an Eric Filler gender swap story too. It involves a little rejiggering with the idea so you can't say I'm plagiarizing it. Just using it for inspiration.
A Hollywood ending!
In the 1960s a producer named Gus recently had an expensive flop, which put him on the shit list of studios. A studio head calls him in with a script for a movie. The only hitch is it has to star his ex-wife Lizzy or they'll lose the rights. But when Gus goes to talk to her, he realizes she's pregnant! She'd be showing by the time they'd have to start filming. He tries to find a lookalike, but when his top choice falls through, he goes to a woman who gives him a potion that lets him become Lizzy. So he has to go to the set and complete the movie as her. I've been writing it for the last couple of weeks so it should be done in the next month or so.
Have you ever written something and then someone told you the whole premise makes no sense? Do tell!
1 comment:
That’s actually a pretty cool idea Pat. You’re rewritten story is good too because the original is full of plot holes once you point them out. That’s why’s they have critiques corner right?
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