Monday, January 15, 2024

Who Would Be Your Retro Justice League?

 Since it's a holiday, here's a completely stupid topic I got thinking about while watching The Flash a couple of months ago.  That movie features a cameo by "Nic Cage" as Superman--or some awful AI that's supposed to be him at any rate--and George Clooney as Bruce Wayne at the end.  If you think about it, about 1998 or so this could have been the foundation of a Justice League movie since Clooney was Batman at that time and Cage was supposed to be Superman.  Then I got thinking, who would you cast as the rest of the league?

Pretend this is a multiverse world where Batman & Robin didn't flop hard and the Cage Superman movie happened to some success.  Now you're tasked with casting the rest of the Justice League for a big summer blockbuster.

Not Vol 1 But Close Enough!

Since it would be about 1998 it has to be people who were around then.  Also I figured we should probably use the JLA volume 1 by Grant Morrison roster since that was about that time period.  That roster was Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Martian Manhunter, Aquaman (with one hand), Green Lantern (Kyle Rayner), and Flash (Wally West).  (Fun Fact:  Cyborg didn't join the Justice League until the "New 52" comics of 2011.)

So here's what I picked:

Superman:  Nic Cage

Batman:  George Clooney

Wonder Woman:  Why not Clooney's Out of Sight co-star Jennifer Lopez?   Can you imagine that booty in star-spangled shorts?  Hell yeah!

Martian Manhunter:  I was thinking Tony Todd of The Candyman and also Worf's brother on TNG/DS9.  He's big and he has a really cool voice.  The only problem is CGI would suck so they'd probably have to paint him green for when he's in Martian form.  Mostly you'd probably want him in human form to save on cheesy-looking makeup.  If they hired Rick Baker and the crew from Men in Black they could probably get something pretty good but it'd still probably be expensive and time-consuming.

Green Lantern (Kyle Rayner):  Since Kyle is supposed to be Latino, who was the top Latino actor then?  Antonio Banderas.  He'd still be young enough in 1998 for it to work.  The good thing about Kyle Rayner's costume is it's mostly black so you don't need it to really be green--or animated.  It could probably look a lot better than the Ryan Reynolds one is what I'm saying.

The Flash (Wally West):  Since this was before The Bourne Identity, I thought, hey, why not Matt Damon?  He'd probably be looking for an action role back then and he wouldn't be too tall and bulky to be a speedster.  So naturally then...

Aquaman:  In the late 90s if you cast Matt Damon you have to have Ben Affleck, right?  And while he'd look more like Namor than Aquaman, just give him a blond wig and beard and a harpoon for one hand and it'd work well enough.  If not, check to see if Brad Pitt is available.

There you go, that's my roster.  With two Latinx and a black guy it's a lot more inclusive than a lot of 90s stuff.

So if you're reading this, who would you cast?  Besides Batman and Superman.  Those are static.  I mean if they weren't I sure as hell wouldn't pick Clooney for Batman.

Make your picks in the comments!

2 comments:

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Over twenty-five years ago? I don't remember what I had for lunch yesterday! Your picks are good enough for me. Banderas would still be young enough for the Green Lantern role.

Maurice Mitchell said...

That would be a great team, especially with Banderas. Id pick Bruce Willis for Batman, Brad Pitt for Superman, Jennifer Love Hewett for Wonder Woman. After that I'm not sure. Fun post Pat!

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