Friday, August 16, 2013

Box Office Blitz Week 6

Buy my book! Buy my book!
BIG ANNOUNCEMENT:  The paperback version of Chance of a Lifetime is now available!  You can get it for $7.99 (plus shipping) from Createspace.  It will over the next week or so be coming to Amazon and other markets.  Of course the ebook version is still FREE so it's a much better deal.

Now as we enter week 6 of Box Office Blitz it's almost anyone's game!  Well probably not mine since my picks in Season 2 have been pretty bad.  Just about everyone's picks last week were bad, though, so maybe I still have a shot!  Especially since this week there's another big batch of movies coming out.  Why did Hollywood wait so long to dump all this stuff out?  Oh, right, probably because it sucks.  August-September like January-February is when they air out the crap they didn't think was good enough to compete in busier times.  That's something to keep in mind, especially for a movie like "Jobs."  If the studio really believes in a drama they'll put it out in fall-winter usually to start gathering Oscar buzz.  When it's released in August?  That means they don't think it has a shot in Hell at any awards.  Though a few early releases like "Crash" have won awards in the past.  There's just a little movie studio psychology for you.

Here's a little Grumpy Bulldog psychology for you:  The only way I'd buy a ticket for Kick-Ass 2 would be to do it online or with one of the computers some movie theaters have.  I just don't think otherwise I could say "Ass" to a total stranger who hasn't pissed me off.  But then I don't like telling them what movie I want to see on a normal basis.  I have this weird neurosis that they're judging me for what movie I'm going to see.  Like at any moment I expect an employee to say, "You're watching THAT?  WTF?"  Not that it's their business and I suppose if they did give me crap I could just stick my nose in the air and say, "You make minimum wage working at a movie theater, so cram it."  But still, I should probably go see a shrink for that.

Anyway, the rules of the game are still the same.  You try to pick which three movies will rule the box office this week.  If you get them in the right order you get more bonus points.  I think by now all the people who will play know the rules.

Here's the list from my local megaplex:

  • 2 Guns
  • Despicable Me 2
  • Elysium
  • Fruitvale Station
  • Grown Ups 2
  • Jobs*
  • Kick-Ass 2*
  • Lee Daniels' The Butler* (I was dismayed to learn this has nothing to do with my avatar, Butler Blue II)
  • Man of Steel
  • Monsters University
  • Pacific Rim
  • Paranoia*
  • Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters
  • Planes
  • RIPD
  • Red 2
  • The Conjuring
  • The Heat
  • The Smurfs 2
  • The Way, Way Back
  • The Wolverine
  • Turbo
  • We're the Millers
  • White House Down
  • World War Z

I decided since I've sucked at picking lately, I'm just going to leave it up to the winds of chance.  So I programmed Excel to pick random amounts between $15-$35M for the four new movies.  Here's the order it came up with:
  1. Kick-Ass 2  $34M
  2. Jobs    $25M
  3. The Butler   $22M
(Paranoia came in a distant 4th with $15M)

Maybe that's not what I'd have chosen, but I'll just go with it and see how the experiment works.  At least then I can blame the computer and not me.


  1. I always order my tickets online. There is a alamo drafthouse in walking distance from my house. I like to walk in, and pretend I know what I am doing.

    1. The Butler $19M
    2. Kick-Ass 2 $17M
    3 We're the Millers $16M

  2. You're not saying "ass", you're saying 'KICK-ASS,' so if that makes it better, then my work here is done. Or not, because I still have to do my picks. So let me offer one other piece of advice: how often do you get to swear in public and have it be socially acceptable? Only when you see "Kick-Ass" movies and go to F**K, the restaurant.

    No, that's not a real thing but it SHOULD BE. Without the asterisks, I mean -- I know this is a family blog.

    My picks, as I try to take first place:

    1. Kick Ass 2, $25 mil.
    2. Millers $20 mil
    3. Paranoia $18 mil

    Sweetie, who no longer wants to make her own picks, is backing me on this. She also agrees with your spot-on analysis of "Jobs."

    Her expert commentary: "Unless you're a huge Liam Hemsworth fan, I don't think Paranoia would appeal to anyone." When questioned about the spelling of that name, she was unsure, adding "I'm not a huge fan, so I don't know."

    We will not be going to see Paranoia tonight, in other words, on date night.

  3. 1. Kick-Ass 2: $24m
    2. The Butler: $21m
    3. We're the Millers: $15m

    Or something like that.

    1. Oh, I never order tickets online, because there's a convenience fee. I hate "convenience" fees because they are a lie. They should be called "because we can gouge you for more money this way" fee, since they do, in fact, make more on the tickets that way. And, then, you still have to go wait in line at the theater to pick up your more convenient tickets. bah

    2. I concur it is a gouging. I make up on the "convenience" fee by taking a someone along, and allowing them the privilege of ordering food and adult beverages for us. ;)

  4. Going to see The Butler today. Hope it's good.

  5. Ok. Lets see.

    Butler - $22mil
    Kick-Ass 2 - $20 mil
    The Millers - $16 mil

    And honestly, I never heard of the Butler before today. So I looked it up. Turns out Oprah is on it. How can it not be number 1.

  6. Butler 20 mill
    Kick ass 2 18 mill
    millers 15 mill

    it's one of those crap weeks when it's all a crapshoot and no clear winner, but I'll say that the Butler movie edges out the others. Elysium in 4th, with Jobs and Paranoia tanking.



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