The first thing to understand about me is that when it comes to these, I'm kind of a snob. I like the 80s-2010s ones mostly. Not just because they're in color and have better production values (usually) but also because those kaiju and sci-fi movies from the 50s are bad, but what do you expect--they're super-duper old. The newer movies are bad when they really shouldn't be, either through cheapness or incompetence--or both.
So if you're one of those people who doesn't like black-and-white movies, not many will be on my list.
Another thing is Pluto TV is not on demand (mostly) so catching the movies there can be tough. And they tend to cycle them so you might see a title three days in a row and then not for weeks. Amazon titles you can of course watch on demand so long as you have an Amazon Prime subscription or want to pay to rent/buy them.
All that said, let's get to it!
Mystery Science Theater 3000 Faves:
- Mitchell: it's a classic episode that was also a milestone for the series as it was when they changed hosts
- Time Chasers: A really bad time travel movie from the early 90s that you can also watch on demand on Pluto TV through the Shout Factory channel
- Future War: this is the newest movie of the old MST3K series, so bad that it was available pretty much right away
- Werewolf: another mid-90s movie, which says how bad it is
- Final Justice: Joe Don Baker--Mitchell!--also stars in this dumb mid-80s action movie
- Overdrawn at the Memory Bank: If you don't like MST3K or movie riffing, you might want to watch a normal version of this. It's an early 80s PBS sci-fi movie that's like a forerunner to The Matrix as Raul Julia is stuck inside a computer and learns how to control reality. Not all that bad, all things considered.
- Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders: What if you took a horror anthology like Creepshow and used the framing device of The Princess Bride? This.
- Master Ninja I & II: 4 episodes of the short-lived 1984 series The Master are mashed together into two "movies." Look for cameos by a young Demi Moore and Crystal Bernard, Claude Akins, and the least-tenured Bond, ie George Lazenby.
- The Pumaman: a really awful superhero movie that'll make you believe a man can fly--with his ass hanging up awkwardly in the air
- Warrior of the Lost World: a bad Italian ripoff of Mad Max from the early 80s
- Laser Blast: a cheesy late 70s sci-fi movie, but also this was the first series finale for the show
Rifftrax Faves (Pluto TV):
Birdemic: a true cult classic, so bad that it has to be seen to be believed
ROTOR: a mind-numbingly bad crossover of Robocop and Terminator
Julie & Jack: From the guy who gave you Birdemic--nuff said
Miami Connection: featuring a ton of cheesy 80s kung fu, music, and fashion
Samurai Cop: A really bad early 90s ripoff of Lethal Weapon
Rollergator: Like anything 90s, this was Extreme-as in extremely bad
Sharknado: This is a live show riffing on the cult classic Syfy film
Sharknado 2: Second verse, same as (or worse than) the first!
Time Chasers: If you can't catch the MST3K version, there's also a live show of this
Terror at Tenkiller: Low budget mid-80s "horror" movie that's more boring than scary
To Catch a Yeti: An early 90s kids movie pitting Meat Loaf against a little girl and an extremely lame puppet
Laser Mission: A largely incoherent 1989 German-produced action movie starring the late Brandon Lee.
Firehead: A really lame 1990 action movie with the titular sorta-superhero
Future Force: Another lame action movie, this one from the late 80s with David Carradine as a bounty hunter
Abraxas Guardian of the Universe: A lame 1990 sci-fi movie starring Jesse "The Body" Ventura
Alien Outlaw: a goofy low-budget sci-fi movie from the mid-80s
McBain: Not The Simpsons character; this is a lame 1991 action movie starring Christopher Walken
Mutant: A really lame mid-80s horror movie
Supersonic Man: Only very slightly better in production values and acting than The Pumaman.
And the granddaddy of all bad movies: Plan 9 From Outer Space--available on its own or in a live show
Rifftrax Faves (Amazon Prime):
Honor and Glory: Extremely lame mid-90s action movie featuring a lot of bad kung-fu
Fever Lake: A really bad mid-90s horror movie starring the dead Corey and Slater from Saved By the Bell
Star Games: A truly wretched mid-90s sci-fi movie starring Tony Curtis and the director's sons
Radical Jack: A lame action movie from 2000 starring Billy Ray Cyrus (aka Miley's dad)
Icebreaker: Another lame 2000 action movie starring Sean Astin and Bruce Campbell
Worth a Rental on Amazon:
Space Mutiny: A truly awful 80s sci-fi movie that recycles its space footage from Battlestar Galactica
Space Mutiny Live (Rifftrax): A 2018 live showing of the "cult classic"
Ghosthouse (Rifftrax): An incredibly ridiculous late 80s "horror" movie; sometimes they show the original version on Pluto TV; check the "Cult Classics" or "Shout Factory" channels.
The Final Sacrifice (MST3K): A really bad late 80s Canadian movie featuring the heroics of Zap Rowsdower! (That's not the name of a superhero or space hero, just some Canadian hoser.)
The good thing about renting the MST3K ones on Amazon is you get them a whole week even after you watch it the first time so you can watch it again and again and again! (Or just once.)
Not Recommended: (Some bad movies are just bad)*
The Sword & the Dragon (MST3K): Really boring Scandinavian fantasy movie
The Day the Earth Froze (MST3K): Ditto
The Castle of Fu Man Chu (MST3K): Extremely racist and boring 70s "action" movie
Fist of Fury (Rifftrax): A very long and pointless Bruce Lee movie with shitty dubbing
The Revenge of Dr. X (Rifftrax): Ed Wood was involved in this somehow so you know it's bad. The obnoxious noises the killer plant makes really get on my nerves
*First season MST3K episodes like The Slime People, Moon Zero Two, and Untamed Youth look even lower budget than usual and there's a different voice for Servo so watch at your own peril.
Some of the MST3K titles might be on Netflix. Consult your app.
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