Watching The Clone Wars Again Gave Me Ideas For How the Prequels Should Have Gone

 A lot of years for the last month of the year I do something stupid because I figure people are going to be busy with all the holiday stuff.  I had some alternate Star Wars ideas and so I thought, why not put them towards the end of the year to cover that period no one cares about?  Right?  Makes sense--from a certain point of view.  So next week I have some prequel ideas and the week after some sequel ideas.  I never really do anything with the original trilogy; that is basically untouchable to me.  I know those are not perfect movies but they were such an integral part of my childhood that I simply can't bring myself to do anything with them.  Continuations in the form of prequels or sequels, however, are fair game to me.

Back in May on the 4th I rewatched some episodes of The Clone Wars TV show.  And then because I was bored, I said fuck it and just started rewatching the whole series.  The first few seasons especially are really good, but a thought that occurred to me is the lesser episodes are stuff that take cues directly from the movies.

For instance, there are mercifully only a couple of episodes that feature Jar-Jar Binks and his stupid shenanigans.  But really what got me thinking are a couple of episodes involving Anakin and Padme.  The whole "secret marriage" thing just never really works for me.  Cynically I got thinking that really the only reason they did it at all is because they didn't want Luke and Leia to be bastards.  They probably would have gotten a lot of complaints from "Christians" if Anakin knocked Padme up without marrying her.  Personally, I never really gave a shit one way or another; as a kid I spent approximately 0 seconds thinking about who gave birth to Luke and Leia.

There are a few episodes in particular dealing with Anakin being the "Chosen One" and that whole "prophecy" thing.  A prophecy that never really made any sense at all.  Even in the movies it didn't make a lick of sense and the episodes trying to make it make sense didn't work.  Because it's stupid and it was just trying to make him seem special--also why he was some kind of Immaculate Conception.  Because we couldn't just have him be a fairly normal Jedi who turns bad and becomes an evil killing machine.  No way, he has to be a special Jedi who turns bad and becomes an evil killing machine for...pretty weak reasons.

Stuff like that has always bugged me about the prequels and I've always wanted to do one of my things like with the sequels where I rewrite it in a "better" or at least different way.  I think I finally came up with how I would do that.  So I'm going to spend next week doing that for no real reason.

The first thing to know, though, is I'm rejiggering a lot of Episode I.  No Anakin as a little kid or "metachlorines" or pod racing or Jar-Jar or whatever.  That shit sucks.  Fuck it.

So that's next week.  Hooray.