2016 Movies: Grumpy Bulldog v Tony Laplume: Dawn of Failure

After Laplume did a capsulizing entry on 2014 movies I compared his reviews with my reviews.  Then he wrote capsule reviews for 2015 movies and I compared those.  Now it's on to 2016!  He actually has a bunch I've never gotten around to watching, so you can go read those here.  But these are the ones that did overlap. 

Arrival (Laplume)

rating: *****

review: This is the movie that for me defines the genius of Denis Villeneuve, turning a smart story by Ted Chiang into a brilliant movie starring Amy Adams about a new kind of first contact with aliens.  

Me:

Arrival:  Like I said on Facebook, a lot of movies don't really hold my interest.  You know, after a half hour or so I get on my phone to check Facebook and Twitter and stuff.  I did once or twice early on but the rest of the time I actually watched the movie because I wanted to try to figure out what was going on.  Like Independence Day, a bunch of alien ships show up and park over parts of the Earth, though not really major cities and they seemingly have no ill intent.  Amy Adams is a linguist who signs up to visit the "heptapods" (called that for their seven feet) and try to decipher their language.  Interspersed with this are flashes to a child of hers who ends up dying as a teenager from a rare disease.  The two things are connected and it's pretty simple:  all you have to do is figure out the timing of those flashes.  The way they're presented makes it seem like they're flashbacks, but (spoiler) they aren't.  It's all sort of like Dr. Manhattan in Watchmen, which probably does most people no good whatsoever.  Anyway, Adams gives a very good low-key performance and Jeremy Renner is at least passable as a fellow scientist.  If you like sci-fi that isn't too hard or too space opera-y then this is a good choice. (4/5)  

(Fun Fact:  Also probably the best use of Max Richter's "On the Nature of Daylight" in a movie yet.  I wrote a whole entry about that piece that no one gave a crap about.)

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (Laplume)

rating: *****

review: Ambition has been a bad thing in American film in recent decades, doubly so in superhero movies, where it's only begun to surface, and mostly in DC projects.  This one is a conceptual miracle that does the impossible: finally have the two most famous superheroes of any company meet, and figure each other out.  Plus the sensational cinematic debut of Wonder Woman!

Me:  

BvS:  This attempt to create a cinematic universe was full of  holes.  There were some good parts and I didn't hate Batfleck as much as other people, but in the end the plot doesn't hold together.  I mean, what the hell was Lex Luthor's plan?  Hope Batman kills Superman or at least delays him long enough to unleash Doomsday?  And if Doomsday fails, sell out Earth to Darkseid?  Why? (2/5)

Hell or High Water (Laplume)

rating: *****

review: No one has done more for the modern Western than Taylor Sheridan (who wrote this and also, among other projects, created Yellowstone), and in any other era, this would have been recognized as an instant classic, and perhaps cemented Chris Pine's career.

Me:

Hell or High Water:  Two brothers (Chris Pine and Ben Foster) in Texas are about to lose the family ranch and so they turn to robbing banks.  The banks they rob are all from the chain that's going to foreclose on them.  Then they essentially launder the money through a casino and pay it back to the bank.  A pair of Texas Rangers led by Jeff Bridges is on their tail.  It's kind of like No Country for Old Men only without the great antagonist.  Jeff Bridges essentially reheats his Rooster Cogburn from True Grit; his lazy performance is the biggest drawback to an otherwise really good film. (4/5)

Star Trek Beyond (Laplume)

rating: ****

review: The most recent entry in the film franchise in its best moments reached operatic heights of depth but didn't quite know what to do with Kirk or Spock, unlike its immediate predecessors.  Another typically great supporting turn from Idris Elba, though.

Me:

Star Trek Beyond:  The best of the reboot movies isn't a very high bar to me.  There was fun and less of the ridiculousness from the Abrams movies.  Idris Elba is cool, though the thing where he absorbs people and becomes more human was weird.  The "Sabotage" bit was funny, though really unrealistic that people in the 23rd Century listen to late 20th Century rap.  I mean, how often do you listen to lesser 18th Century composers--not Mozart?  It's the movie where Chris Pine is most Kirk-like and most of the other characters are more like their inspirations than the Abrams movies. (3/5)

Passengers (Laplume)

rating: ****

review: One of the touchstones of modern culture, in all the wrong ways, as too few people bothered to actually watch to find out exactly how Jennifer Lawrence ends up with Chris Pratt.

Me:

I wrote a lengthy diatribe (https://ptdilloway.blogspot.com/2017/05/passengers-ode-to-male-privilege.html) but basically the gist is to answer Laplume, how Jennifer Lawrence ends up with Chris Pratt is that after he's inadvertently woke up from his cryosleep, he gets lonely and wakes her up, thereby cursing her to die in space along with him.  Isn't that romantic?  Um, no. It's selfish and creepy and sexist.  (1/5)

Midnight Special (Laplume)

rating: ****

review: Jeff Nichols, had this and/or Loving (which I still haven't seen) been embraced as the landmark filmmaking it is, would be embraced as one of the modern masters of the medium.  

Me:

Midnight Special:  Like I said on Twitter, if you like Stranger Things, you should watch this movie.  It's kind of the same thing, only without the 80s setting or Stephen King references.  The frustrating thing about the movie is it doesn't really try to set things up.  You're thrown right into the middle of it as Michael Shannon is trying to get his son with freaky powers out of Texas.  They're already on the road with another guy and a manhunt is already on the way.  Eventually you can piece together that Michael Shannon and Kirsten Dunst had this kid who has powers like being able to hear radios and satellites and his eyes light up with bright white light and he can speak in tongues.  A whole weird cult called "the Ranch" formed around him, turning his ramblings into scripture.  Anyway, Michael Shannon and the kid are heading towards some point to meet up with others like the kid.  Meanwhile they have the Ranch and the government (especially Kylo Ren) on their tail.  Like 10 Cloverfield Lane, when they actually show you what's going on at the end it's a little disappointing, though not nearly as dumb.  Anyway, it's definitely an interesting movie to watch and you might want to watch it more than once to see if you missed anything the first time.  Or not.  It's your life. (3.5/5) (Fun Fact:  At one point Adam Driver talks to the kid through a microphone and it really does sound like Kylo Ren.  I'm just saying.)

Suicide Squad (Laplume)

rating: ****

review: Will Smith's Deadshot, Margot Robbie's Harley Quinn, and a breakthrough performance from Jai Courtney as Captain Boomerang all suggest a better film than its reputation suggests.

Me:

Suicide Squad:  I thought this movie was so dumb and lame.  I hated Jared Leto's Joker, hated Harley Quinn, and the rest of the characters were pretty forgettable.  Viola Davis did a good job of Amanda Waller, but her character does so many stupid things that it was ridiculous. (1/5)

Criminal (Laplume)

rating: ****

review: Kevin Costner's career revival sort of began with this.

Me:

Criminal:  Last year in Self/Less Ryan Reynolds had Ben Kingsley take over his brain.  This year Reynolds takes over the brain of Kevin Costner, which is a huge downgrade if you ask me.  I mean that'd be like getting your brain stuffed into your dad.  Ugh.  Anyway, the idea is that there's a cyberterrorist on the loose and Ryan Reynolds had some important stuff in his brain that to try to get it out they have Tommy Lee Jones perform risky surgery to put the brain patterns of Ryan Reynolds into Kevin Costner, who is the eponymous criminal with some kind of weird brain condition that left lots of stem cells in his brain.  A lot of it then is sort of like The Bourne Identity as he unlocks memories and hidden skills while rampaging through London and punching lots of people and generally being the ugly American.  It's OK but not the greatest. (2.5/5)

(And I would disagree with Laplume and say it was Man of Steel that reminded people Kevin Costner was still alive.)

X-Men: Apocalypse (Laplume)

rating: ***

review: Things don't really get good in this one until Professor X and Magneto realize they have a common enemy.  That makes this one a landmark in the film series.

Me:

The problem for this movie is that it's pretty dumb (I mean Jean-Grey and Magneto put the mansion back together like it's made of fucking Legos) and it's not "fun" enough to get a pass like Thor: Ragnarok.  For whatever reason they decided to wait until the third movie of the soft reboot franchise to introduce (or re-introduce) some of the most popular characters like Cyclops, Storm, Nightcrawler, and Jean-Grey.  Magneto kills thousands of people, but he's still a good guy at heart, so let's let him go!  Sure, great idea. (2/5)

Captain America: Civil War (Laplume)

rating: ***

review: Sort of the unoffical Avengers film between Age of Ultron and Infinity War, becomes the most blatant of the internal franchise starters with the MCU debuts of Spider-Man and Black Panther.  Loses the point of being, y'know, a Captain America film a little too easily in the process.  

Me: 

Captain America: Civil War:  What really should have been called Avengers 2 1/2 since it's only vaguely a Captain America movie.  Most of the movie is just MCU servicing by breaking up the Avengers and introducing Black Panther and Spider-Man.  But on the heels of BvS by less than 2 months it did a lot of the same things but in a far less clunky way.  The last-minute introduction of Spider-Man was especially forced, which made sense with how close it came to not happening at all.  Zemo is a decent villain, albeit an underused one. (3/5)

Now You See Me 2 (Laplume)

rating: ***

review: I still haven't seen the first one, but it was still possible to enjoy this one, which features a tongue-in-cheek turn from Daniel Radcliffe.

Me:

Now You See Me 2:  File this under "Unneeded Sequels."  It really has all the hallmarks of a bad sequel, starting with changing directors and writers and replacing the female "Horseman" (Isla Fisher) with an annoying new girl played by Lizzy Caplan.  It just doesn't have the same magic as the first movie (har har) because it's really using a lot of the same tricks.  Really lame too how they tried to redeem Morgan Freeman's magic cynic character too.  Definitely a waste of time. (1/5) (Fun Musing:  For the third movie they should have Will Arnett's Bojack Horseman join the team.  Also, I agree with people who joked they should have called this movie "Now You Don't."  I mean think how funny that would look on the shelf:  Now You See Me and then Now You Don't.  Boom)

Jack Reacher: Never Go Back (Laplume)

rating: ***

review: No one ever goes back and rethinks their views, but after the success of Top Gun: Maverick you'd think some people would reconsider how dismissive they'd been of recent Tom Cruise projects.  This was his second Jack Reacher.  I still haven't seen the first.  I made sure to see this one, since it's probably the only real reward Cobie Smulders will get for being a prominent bit player in the MCU.

Me:

Jack Reacher: Never Go Back:  I watched the first one of these a while back and it wasn't that good.  This one was better than I thought, though still not a great movie.  An army major Jack Reacher has been talking to on the phone (Cobie Smulders) has been arrested for treason.  He springs her and they go on the run, ending up in New Orleans with a teenage girl who may or may not be Jack's daughter.  The whole thing revolves around a plot to smuggle in weapons and opium from Afghanistan.  Pretty much a straight-ahead action thriller, which is I guess what you'd expect, right?  (2.5/5)

The Accountant (Laplume)

rating: ***

review: Director Gavin O'Connor has my lasting devotion thanks to Warrior (a modern classic), and he also directed Jane Got Her Gun.  This was Ben Affleck proving he wasn't just going to be Batman, but still in an action role.

Me:

The Accountant:  I'd wanted to see this for a while just for the irony, being an accountant and all.  Overall the movie is too long with too much going on that doesn't all really add up unless maybe you're like Ben Affleck in the movie.  He's an accountant who also kills people for money or expensive paintings.  He takes a job in Chicago to analyze a robotics company's books and in a single night does a whole Beautiful Mind thing on the windows to figure out some of what's going on with their books.  There's also a girl he takes on the run when other killers (led by Jon Bernthal) come after them.  There's also a lot of stuff with two IRS agents led by JK Simmons that doesn't really contribute a whole lot to the overall story.  It's the kind of movie that would be better if it were about 30 minutes shorter with some of the unnecessary backstory trimmed out. (2.5/5)  

The Magnificent Seven (Laplume)

rating: ***

review: At the time I wanted to believe that Denzel Washington and Chris Pratt could make the Western popular again.  They didn't, but it's still a pretty good movie.

Me:

The Magnificent Seven (2016):  A robber baron is taking over a small town so he can bulldoze it and mine for gold there.  When her husband is killed by the robber baron, a woman goes to a bounty hunter (Denzel Washington) who then recruits a team that includes Chris Pratt, Ethan Hawke, and Vincent D'Onofrio.  It feels pretty generic as they train the town how to fight and then take on the robber baron and his minions.  There are by now probably hundreds of other movies that use that same scenario:  Robin Hood (several of them I think), Dragonheart, Hercules, and so forth.  With Denzel Washington in the lead it actually made me think of Blazing Saddles, only not funny.  I never watched the original so I don't really know how it compares.  Anyway, it's an OK Western but not a Best Western. (Boom, motel slam!) (2.5/5)

Independence Day: Resurgence (Laplume)

rating: ***

review: The very belated sequel is great for world-building, but was never going to succeed in the realm of pop entertainment without Will Smith.

Me:

Independence Day: Resurgence:  It's not as embarrassing as Godfather III, but like Dumb & Dumber To it's like, "It's OK, but did we really need this after 20 years?"  No, not really.  The plot is easy to summarize:  the aliens are back 20 years later to kill us all by snuffing out our core.  Jeff Goldblum, Bill Pullman, and Will Smith Liam Hemsworth have to take them out.  The idea of killing the queen isn't all that original, but whatever.  Stuff blows up, though fewer landmarks this time because I suppose they blew up most of them last time.  In a way this seems like the closest to a Robotech movie we're going to get as they use that premise of humans using alien technology to upgrade their arsenal, though sadly not into transforming space fighters.  It's not nearly as epic as 1996 and what feels like a long runtime and some lame green screen effects make it not essential viewing. (2.5/5) 

Deadpool (Laplume)

rating: ***

review: I get that it's great Ryan Reynolds got to make the faithful version of the character everyone wished had been in X-Men Origins: Wolverine, but I don't think the concept really worked until the second one.  Obnoxious characters, for me, need a few counterbalances.

Me:

My most favorite superhero flick in years.  It's funny, violent, and crass, which is really everything fans (and not-really fans like me) were expecting and yet it still has considerable heart too.  The good thing is Fox thought so little of this they were free to do whatever they wanted without worrying about crossovers or "cinematic universes" or even setting up a sequel, as is noted in the post-credits scene.  That's pretty refreshing after Marvel and DC's recent movies with their relentless positioning for future stories.  And hey they finally got Colossus of the X-Men right! (4/5)

Doctor Strange (Laplume)

rating: ***

review: Although I'm a big fan of Benedict Cumberbatch, I think basically every appearance he's made as this character has been a disappointment, the true limits of the MCU personified.  He's become both the successor of Robert Downey Jr.'s Iron Man and his antithesis.  Nobody involved understands the role.  The results are basically the MCU version of Inception.

Me:

Doctor Strange:  This was the first Marvel movie I didn't watch in theaters.  Because...I just didn't care.  Dr. Strange was never a character I had any interest in.  As far as overall MCU stuff I guess it does matter with the Infinity Stone thing, but otherwise isn't important. (2.5/5)

Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (Laplume)

rating: **

review: It seems even the prequel TV show Andor has fans believing otherwise, but for me Rogue One represents a total misreading of Star Wars.  This isn't what the Rebellion actually looks like.  We saw that in, y'know, the original trilogy.  This is a collection of oddballs, and incidentally some terrorists, and I am not at all prepared to accept that the good guys in Star Wars were terrorists, or would have knowingly supported them.  That's just not how it works.  That being said, I really like how the otherwise reprehensible results gave us Ben Mendelsohn as a breakthrough actor.

Me:

Rogue One:  Most of the movie is the typical prequel:  overly complicated and connecting dots that probably never needed connected.  The deaths of...everyone seem pretty forced, like the producers just didn't want to answer ComiCon questions about why Jyn Erso wasn't in the other movies for the rest of their lives.  Had it ended that way it would probably be a couple notches down on my list.  But the epic Vader scene at the end made up for it.  For the first time in a movie we really saw Vader as the Vader we imagined when he first came through the smoke on the corvette in Episode IV.  Why haven't we had a Darth Vader movie yet?  Get on it, Disney! (3/5)

(And when are we going to get a Vader movie or TV show?  The Obi-Wan Kenobi show was close but not exactly that.)

And in response to what Laplume said:  if you support their cause then it's not terrorism, it's freedom fighting.  It all depends on a certain point of view.

I think this time there was a lot more disagreement in our reviews, which is always good.  Siskel & Ebert never would have lasted a year if they'd agreed on every single thing.  Conflict is the essence of drama and all that.