- Batman & Robin: an astounding fact is this movie didn't kill George Clooney's movie career before it had hardly begun. Otherwise this makes the 1960s "Batman" seem subtle by comparison.
- The Spirit: This movie never seemed to decide if we should be taking it seriously or laughing at it. I did more of the latter. And just like the first "Pirates of the Caribbean" there's no point in having two immortal characters fighting because obviously neither can die, so why bother? At least in "Highlander" they could kill each other by chopping off the other guy's head.
- Jonah Hex: When a non-kids movie comes in at just about 70 minutes, you know there were some problems. A lot of problems. The biggest problem: Megan Fox continuing to tease us all by not getting naked.
- Ghost Rider: another astounding fact is that someone actually greenlit a sequel to this. Could it be any dumber than the original? Probably.
- Captain America (1990): The bar was set pretty low for the 2011 movie to top this. What it really demonstrated was the 2011 version was right to focus more on the WWII part because in the 1990 version he goes on essentially one mission and gets frozen for 50 years. Not much of a superhero there.
- Spawn: to borrow from Homer Simpson, "That's brilliant! No, wait it's needlessly complicated." That pretty much sums up the plot.
- Superman III: I can just imagine some film executive saying, "Hey, you know what would be great? Let's cast Richard Pryor as a computer hacker who helps Superman save the world from Robert Vaughn." Yeah, that worked out real well. Another astounding fact is that there was a "Superman IV."
- Catwoman: I think the biggest problem was they never figured out if Catwoman was supposed to be a superhero or supervillain or what. Plus all the gratuitous butt shots when she plays basketball against Benjamin Bratt. Also, casting Benjamin Bratt.
- Supergirl: Actually the whole concept of Supergirl is kind of lame--she's just like Superman except a girl! This movie certainly didn't change my opinion of that.
- Hancock: I saw this in the cheap theater. I suppose it was worth my $2 for the first half-hour where he's all pissed-off and drunk and breaking shit and shoving a guy's head up someone else's ass. The rest of the movie got increasingly idiotic. I suppose at some point there will be an even more terrible sequel which could easily be added to this list.
Here are some I'm pretty sure are terrible but I didn't really watch them:
- Punisher: War Zone
- Ghost Rider 2
- The Phantom
- The Shadow
There are probably some more I'm forgetting about. I'm not sure you can argue that any of the ones I picked shouldn't be on this list. Really I think before 2000 the only decent superhero movie was Tim Burton's "Batman" from 1989. Otherwise they all ranged from meh to godawful. I don't know if it's because effects got better or filmmakers started to take the genre more seriously. That's something for film critics to ponder I suppose, though most of them liked "Superman" and "Superman II" so they would not agree with my assessment.
Tuesday is another Two-Fer...