Friday, March 8, 2024

When It Comes to MST3K/Rifftrax, the Carradines are the First Family of Crap

Especially since I started watching MST3K and Rifftrax on Pluto TV in 2017, I've watched a lot of bad movies.  Just as a mental exercise I tried to go through all the episodes to figure out who had been in the most MST3K episodes and Rifftrax VODs (not the "Just the Jokes" of popular movies).  It seemed pretty clear that the leader in the clubhouse is John Carradine.

The elder Carradine was in good movies like The Grapes of Wrath and The Ten Commandments, but he was also in a ton of crappy movies too.  Here's the list I came up with (at present) with R being Rifftrax and M being MST3K:

  1. Voodoo Man (R)
  2. The Unearthly (M)
  3. Red Zone Cuba (M)
  4. Invasion of the Animal People (R)
  5. Astro Zombies (R)
  6. Terror in the Wax Museum (R)
  7. Hillbillys in a Haunted House (R)
  8. Missile X (R)
  9. Frankenstein Island (R)
  10. Jack-O (R) (they actually use footage of him from a previous movie since he was already dead)

To be fair, most of these movies he was not the star of the film.  Voodoo Man he was a henchman, Red Zone Cuba he just has a cameo at the beginning, Animal People he's a narrator, Wax Museum he gets killed early in the film, Frankenstein Island his image is occasionally broadcast with him ranting about "the golden thread," and I mentioned already that Jack-O used footage from one of his old movies since he'd died years earlier.  I don't know if it's better or worse that he's not actually the star of most of these movies.

He also sings the theme song to Red Zone Cuba, which was also known as Night Train to Mundo Fine, hence the song title:

His son David was in one Netflix MST3K episode and a bunch of Rifftrax ones:

  1. Future Force
  2. Future Zone
  3. Project Eliminator
  4. Karate Cop
  5. Martial Law
  6. Max Havoc: Curse of the Dragon
  7. Wizards of the Lost Kingdom II (M)

(A Fun Fact:  except for Max Havoc the rest of those movies were all made around 1987-1992.  Basically if you were making a bad movie in that time there was a non-zero chance David Carradine would appear in it.)

He had a lot more air time in most of these movies than his father did in his bad movies.  The exception being in Karate Cop he has basically just a cameo as a cannibalistic diner owner.

So the two combined have been in 17 movies at least!  I don't think anyone can top that, but there are a few who come close.

Probably the top female in Rifftrax movies is C-list martial arts star Cynthia Rothrock, though she didn't actually show up in any until 2016.  Since then there's been:

  1. Honor & Glory
  2. Star Raiders
  3. Santa's Summer House
  4. Martial Law
  5. Martial Law 2
  6. In the Line of Duty 2: The Super Cops

It's kinda depressing I can't think of many other women who might come close to this.  Most of these bad movies were horror, sci-fi, or action movies where women were just disposable, interchangeable love interests or eye candy.  Most of the women who appeared in these bad movies were not "stars" who would be used again and again.

The next closest I can think of at the moment is Noell Neill who was in the four "Teenagers" movies on Rifftrax and had a bit part in the MST3K movie Invasion USA.

Who else can approach the "glory" of the Carradines?  I'm just going to run a few names for the hell of it.

Basil Rathbone was a contemporary of John Carradine and has appeared in a few Rifftrax movies, mostly a series of Sherlock Holmes movies from the 1940s:

  1. Sherlock Holmes & the Secret Weapon
  2. Sherlock Holmes & the Woman in Green
  3. Sherlock Holmes in Dressed to Kill
  4. Sherlock Holmes in Terror By Night
  5. Sherlock Holmes & the Scarlet Claw
  6. The Magic Sword
  7. Hillbillys In a Haunted House

The Magic Sword was also on MST3K.  He's also in a short film version of A Christmas Carol that the Xumo app shows about 5 times a week around 10:30-11:30pm.

Christopher Lee is known for Hammer Horror movies, Lord of the Rings, and Star Wars, but he's also been in some crappy movies too:

  1. City of the Dead
  2. Sherlock Holmes & the Deadly Necklace
  3. Castle of Fu Manchu
  4. The Blood of Fu Manchu
  5. Starship Invasions
  6. Horror Express

The Castle of Fu Manchu was originally an MST3K episode but then later on Rifftrax.

Bela Lugosi was known for playing Dracula in the original Universal movie, but later he was in a lot of crappy movies, including at least 2 from Ed Wood:

  1. The Corpse Vanishes (M)
  2. Bride of the Monster (M)
  3. Plan 9 From Outer Space (R)
  4. Scared to Death (R)
  5. The Phantom Creeps (R)
  6. Voodoo Man (R)

Lugosi died during the production of Plan 9 and so to be able to keep Lugosi's name on the posters, Ed Wood used his wife's chiropractor as a stand-in during some scenes featuring Lugosi's character.

Joe Estevez is the brother of Martin Sheen and uncle of Charlie Sheen and Emilio Estevez.  While his famous relatives don't appear in any MST3K/Rifftrax episodes (yet), Joe has appeared in quite a few:

  1. Soultaker (M)
  2. Werewolf (M)
  3. Baby Ghost (R)
  4. Rollergator (R)
  5. San Franpsycho (R)

Cameron Mitchell, like John Carradine, started out in good movies and even co-founded the Actor's Studio.  But later in his career he was in a lot of crappy movies too:

  1. The Stranger (M)
  2. Viva Knievel
  3. Supersonic Man
  4. Space Mutiny
  5. Deadly Prey
  6. Jack-O (like John Carradine I think they used previously shot footage since he had also died)

Space Mutiny was originally on MST3K and then later a live Rifftrax show.

Recently, generic 90s martial arts guy Jeff Wincott has appeared in a few Rifftrax movies:

  1. Martial Law 2
  2. Street Law
  3. Fatal Combat
  4. Universal Soldier II: Brothers in Arms
  5. Universal Soldier III: Unfinished Business

The two Universal Soldier movies were made for "The Movie Channel" and shot on the cheap in Canada in the late 90s.  Neither is regarded as canon.

Just like there aren't many women on these lists, you're not going to get much diversity either.  I mean in the 30-60s there weren't a lot of black, Asian, etc actors in movies.  In these movies you're more likely to get a white person in black/brown face and racist shit like Charlie Chan and Fu Manchu than you are actual black, Asian, etc actors.  Maybe that's a good thing that they didn't get to be featured in crummy movies.

When it comes to directors, who has directed the most features on MST3K/Rifftrax?  It's neck-and-neck between 50s-60s shlock director Bert I Gordon and legendary shlock director/producer Roger Corman

Gordon's list found on an old forum post:

  1. King Dinosaur
  2. Amazing Colossal Man
  3. Earth Vs. The Spider
  4. War Of The Colossal Beast
  5. The Magic Sword
  6. Tormented
  7. Beginning Of The End
  8. Village Of The Giants
  9. Attack of the Puppet People (R)

All of those but the last one are MST3K, though Magic Sword was also on Rifftrax. 

Roger Corman had a lot of bad movies, though only a small percentage have been featured on MST3K/Rifftrax.  Really most of them are on MST3K:

  1. Gunslinger (M)
  2. Swamp Diamonds (M)
  3. It Conquered the World (M)
  4. Teenage Caveman (M)
  5. Viking Women & the Sea Serpent (M)
  6. The Undead (M)
  7. Little Shop of Horrors (R)
  8. Last Woman on Earth (R)
  9. Creature From the Haunted Sea (R)

Corman had a few others as a producer but not a director.

Those two directors were mostly on MST3K.  For Rifftrax, the most-featured director is probably Greydon Clark, whose almost entire catalog has been featured:

  1. Angel's Revenge
  2. The Return
  3. Final Justice
  4. Uninvited
  5. Dark Future 
  6. Star Games

Angel's Revenge & Final Justice were on MST3K first and then later on Rifftrax.

Paul Matthews has also had a bunch on Rifftrax, including a couple just as a producer, but here are his credits as a director:

  1. Deadly Instinct
  2. Fairy King of Ar
  3. The Little Unicorn
  4. Merlin the Return
  5. Berserker

(Checking IMDB, Fairy King of Ar was originally released as Beings.)

And you might wonder:  what about the Hitchcock of bad movies, Ed Wood?  He's had at least 6 movies featured, half as a writer/director and half as just the writer and half on Rifftrax and half on MST3K:

  1. Plan 9 From Outer Space (Writer/Director) (R)
  2. Bride of the Monster (Writer/Director) (M)
  3. Bride and the Beast (Writer) (R)
  4. The Violent Years (Writer) (M)
  5. The Sinister Urge (Writer/Director) (M)
  6. The Revenge of Dr. X (Writer) (R)

(The Revenge of Dr. X was originally released as Body of the Prey and Wood used a pseudonym for the writing credit.)

Just some random things I was thinking of.  Of course it's subject to change since they're always doing new Rifftrax and at some point there should be another season of MST3K

1 comment:

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Really interesting list - thanks for putting it together. I knew the Carradines had appeared in a bunch of films done by MST3K and RiffTrax. And Bert I. Gorden's films are just fodder for those guys.
Did you see the next live RiffTrax was funded in less than forty-eight hours? Wish I had that kind of fan base.

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