Wednesday, May 29, 2024

Girl Power: How It Should Have Ended?

 August will mark 11 years since I first published Girl Power on Kindle.  I wrote it a few months before that as just a lark to combine the main concepts of the Tales of the Scarlet Knight series and the Chances Are series.  Because I was basically just goofing around with it, I didn't take it too seriously, which is in part why it ended up fairly short.  Later some people would bitch it was too short or not "deep" enough, but it really wasn't supposed to be really long or "deep;" I definitely didn't plan to write 2 sequels, some short stories, and a spinoff.

Anyway, the part I never really liked was the last couple of chapters.  I've always thought I should have done something a little different, to give our sheroes a chance to have a little bigger fight.  About six weeks ago I got toying with an idea that would sort of go like this:

Everything is the same until Robin is taken captive by Major Dalton in the giant robot dinosaur.  Dalton takes her to the control room where Dr. Roboto is waiting.  Instead of turning the alien sex-changing machine on before betraying Dalton, Roboto betrays Dalton first, hypnotizing her to be his dimwitted minion.  And then he grabs Robin to throw her into an arena along with Starla (Supergirl), Allison (Flash), and Elise (Aquagirl).  The arena is rigged with gamma radiation to eliminate Starla's powers and there's some kind of electric field on the floor and walls to keep Allison from using her powers.  And there's obviously no water for Elise to use her powers.

Roboto says that he's going to let them show the whole world how brave women can be by fighting his robot minions without any powers.  And then he unleashes robots into the arena.  Robin as the Batgirl character lays out a strategy.

Robin and Elise have never liked each other because Elise was a gay man and Robin was pretty conservative.  But now Robin has to ask her to take the lead against the robots because she's the most fit one even if she can't use her powers.  Starla will do what she can too to help fight the robots while Robin and Allison (being more sciencey) find a way to deactivate the traps in the arena and the robots.  

Meanwhile, Melvin (Robin's new sidekick from high school) is inside the robot also trying to deactivate the power.  Elise and Starla fight valiantly while Robin uses something to short part of the electric field enough that Allison can open an access panel.  Robin crawls inside since she's smaller.  Allison then does what she can to help the others.

Robin crawls around until she and Melvin find each other.  They work together to take down the power grid.  Things are bad for the other three.  Allison and Elise go down, though not fatally.  Starla does her best Captain America/Gandalf to stand up to the robots alone.  When the power goes out, Starla starts to get her strength back and Allison can use her power to heal quickly and help take down the robots.

Dr. Roboto congratulates the heroes on defeating him.  He says this proves his point about women being just as powerful as men.  So now he'll turn all men into women!  There's something in his cyborg armor that allows him to activate the sex change weapon.

Inside the robot, some stuff comes to life.  Robin is going to sacrifice herself to stop it, but Melvin pushes her to safety and does it instead.

In the throne room the weapon fizzles and Starla and Allison take Dr. Roboto out.  Robin appears later with the body of an unconscious teenage girl--Melvin, now Melanie.  Robin checks on Elise and thanks her for her help and Elise thanks her too.  Then there's a group hug or something.

The epilogue can pretty much stay the same.  

I suppose it'd help if you read the original and remembered it.  Maybe at some point I'd take a day or two and actually rewrite it for a "Special Edition" or "PT Dilloway Cut" or something.  But probably not.

If you've actually read the book, maybe you have suggestions.  Probably not.

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