8. Spider-Man 3: Studio interference largely doomed this movie, though after 5 years maybe it was just running out of gas. The Sandman and New Goblin were enough villains for a movie, but the studio wanted Venom, so they had to wedge him in. And who better to play the person-eating monster than the dumbass from That 70s Show? The movie gamely tries to make it work, but it just doesn't. The tragic origin of the Sandman gives us a glimpse of what might have been if the studio hadn't interfered. And Tobey Maguire attempting to be evil was hilarious, not scary or menacing.
7. The Amazing Spider-Man: Honestly I think I've only seen this one time. I don't own it and it's never really been anywhere for me to watch for free. Other than the chemistry between Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone, this rebooted origin doesn't have a lot going for it. They brought in Martin Sheen as Uncle Ben, but didn't really improve on the origin story. Sally Field is an OK Aunt May and Denis Leary is OK as Gwen Stacey's father. I guess. And at least there was pretty much just the one villain. I think.
6. Spider-Man Homecoming: I liked the first two original Spider-Man movies by Sam Raimi and didn't really care about the Andrew Garfield ones. This one...meh. It's put together all right, but as I said when I reviewed it the first time, there doesn't seem like many of the traditional Spider-Man elements in it, like the Daily Bugle, J Jonah Jameson, Harry Osborn, Norman Osborn, Gwen Stacey, or Mary Jane Watson. There's an MJ who's not Mary Jane Watson and a lot of Iron Man. And a May who's an AILF and Michael Keaton as a blue collar version of the Vulture. So that's something.
5. The Amazing Spider-Man 2: With Marvel doing so much business, Sony got dollar signs in its eyes. This movie winds up doing too much too soon in a vain attempt to create a "cinematic universe" that wound up destroying the franchise. The movie itself isn't terrible as Harry Osborn recruits Electro to help him get Spider-Man's blood. That's what Spidey gets for being greedy with blood. Electro's origin seems to borrow heavily from the Riddler in Batman Forever, which really wasn't a good movie to borrow from. Dane DeHaan is creepy as Harry Osborn, making you yearn for the clueless rich boy air of James Franco. Again Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone have good chemistry, but her death is completely forced and Peter's grieving is given about five minutes. Between that and trying to introduce a whole Sinister Six all at once, the movie just never works.
4. Spider-Man Far From Home: This would probably be lower if not for the cookie scene with J Jonah Jameson--played by JK Simmons even! Between that and actually making Peter and MJ's relationship more like Peter and MJ's traditional relationship it felt more like a Spider-Man movie even with the globetrotting. Mysterio was actually a better hero than villain, but the callbacks to Civil War and Iron Man were neat--the latter featuring Ralphie from A Christmas Story! Still not as good as the first two Raimi movies.
3. Into the Spider-Verse: This movie combined two comic book storylines: the Spider-Verse story by Dan Slott and the Ultimate Spider-Man reboot introducing Miles Morales by Brian Michael Bendis. The movie focuses on Miles, who is bitten by a spider and gains most of Spidey's powers and some new ones. When the original Spider-Man dies, Miles is left to try to find a way to save the world--until he meets an older, out-of-shape Peter Parker from another world. And then he finds out his new friend Gwen is a Spider-Girl or Spider-Woman or whatever. And then Spider-Ham, Spider-Man Noir, and some weird Japanese anime Spider-Man thing show up from other universes. Since this was animated, it had a lot more freedom creatively than the live action movies. So it could finally give us a big screen Spider-Ham, plus the others, plus Kingpin, and a gender-swapped Doc Ock! The end result is a brilliant movie, whether you're a fan of Spider-Man or not.
2. Spider-Man 2: A lot of people would put this at #1. Most of it is good as Peter struggles to balance his life as Peter Parker and Spider-Man and to deal with Mary Jane engaged to marry J Jonah Jameson's son. Doctor Octopus is a sympathetic villain and James Franco is...there. There are some good moments and a lot of soul-searching, but the weakness to me is that in the end the only way Peter's issues can be resolved is for Mary Jane to be kidnapped (again) and suddenly his powers are back so he can save her. And to this day I wonder what the point of that scene where the landlord's daughter gives Peter some cake was. Plus thanks to getting knocked out on a train, Peter reveals his identity to dozens of people. I'm sure none of them will ever tell.
1. Spider-Man: The OG Spider-Man movie! Sure this movie isn't perfect. Mary Jane's wig looks like a wig. Whenever Willem Dafoe talks as the Goblin I kept thinking of Power Rangers because you can't see a mouth moving. And by today's standards the effects might not look great and even by 2002 standards they weren't exactly top-notch. Still, does it get much better than the upside-down kiss in the rain? No. 18 years and the franchise has never topped that. Never! The final battle between Spidey and Goblin was pretty awesome too--after that whole sadistic choice with the cable car that's foiled by the brave people of New York thing. I loved it that the Goblin was actually kicking Spidey's ass until he finally found a way to turn it around. Maybe you never realized it, but the final battle between the Scarlet Knight and Black Dragoon in A Hero's Journey, I had this movie in mind. That and Empire Strikes Back. So maybe that's why I like this one more than the sequel.
There you go, that's my list. A little surprise at the top. Or not.
3. Into the Spider-Verse: This movie combined two comic book storylines: the Spider-Verse story by Dan Slott and the Ultimate Spider-Man reboot introducing Miles Morales by Brian Michael Bendis. The movie focuses on Miles, who is bitten by a spider and gains most of Spidey's powers and some new ones. When the original Spider-Man dies, Miles is left to try to find a way to save the world--until he meets an older, out-of-shape Peter Parker from another world. And then he finds out his new friend Gwen is a Spider-Girl or Spider-Woman or whatever. And then Spider-Ham, Spider-Man Noir, and some weird Japanese anime Spider-Man thing show up from other universes. Since this was animated, it had a lot more freedom creatively than the live action movies. So it could finally give us a big screen Spider-Ham, plus the others, plus Kingpin, and a gender-swapped Doc Ock! The end result is a brilliant movie, whether you're a fan of Spider-Man or not.
2. Spider-Man 2: A lot of people would put this at #1. Most of it is good as Peter struggles to balance his life as Peter Parker and Spider-Man and to deal with Mary Jane engaged to marry J Jonah Jameson's son. Doctor Octopus is a sympathetic villain and James Franco is...there. There are some good moments and a lot of soul-searching, but the weakness to me is that in the end the only way Peter's issues can be resolved is for Mary Jane to be kidnapped (again) and suddenly his powers are back so he can save her. And to this day I wonder what the point of that scene where the landlord's daughter gives Peter some cake was. Plus thanks to getting knocked out on a train, Peter reveals his identity to dozens of people. I'm sure none of them will ever tell.
1. Spider-Man: The OG Spider-Man movie! Sure this movie isn't perfect. Mary Jane's wig looks like a wig. Whenever Willem Dafoe talks as the Goblin I kept thinking of Power Rangers because you can't see a mouth moving. And by today's standards the effects might not look great and even by 2002 standards they weren't exactly top-notch. Still, does it get much better than the upside-down kiss in the rain? No. 18 years and the franchise has never topped that. Never! The final battle between Spidey and Goblin was pretty awesome too--after that whole sadistic choice with the cable car that's foiled by the brave people of New York thing. I loved it that the Goblin was actually kicking Spidey's ass until he finally found a way to turn it around. Maybe you never realized it, but the final battle between the Scarlet Knight and Black Dragoon in A Hero's Journey, I had this movie in mind. That and Empire Strikes Back. So maybe that's why I like this one more than the sequel.
There you go, that's my list. A little surprise at the top. Or not.
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