Sunday, February 17, 2013

Box Office Blitz Week 6 Results!

Well I was right that Die Hard won the box office, but it made only half of what I thought it would.  I think the R rating probably hurt it.  I mean if it's rated R then it's harder for the kiddos to see it, which is where the real lifeblood of the box office comes from.

Meanwhile Identity Thief performed strong for a second week despite that it's also R rated so maybe disregard what I just said.  Or maybe on Valentine's Day weekend people don't want to watch a violent action movie so much?

Of all the new ones "Safe Haven" performed the best.  I still know absolutely nothing about it.

The numbers were:
Die Hard $25M
Identity Thief $23M
Safe Haven $21M

My picks were:
  1. A Good Day to Die Hard $50M
  2. Identity Theft $18M
  3. Warm Bodies $9M
I get 100 points each for the first two.  So 200 total.

Stephen Hayes guessed:
Beautiful Creatures 20 million
Silver Linings Playbook 11 million
Escape from Planet Earth 10 million

That's a goose egg for him.

Briane Pagel guessed:
1. Die Hard $30 million
2. Beautiful Creatures $12 million
3. Side Effects $10 million.

That's 100 points for him.

Rusty Carl guessed:
Die Hard: $40mil
Beautiful Creatures: $25mil
Identity Theft: $20 mil

That's 100 for Die Hard and 50 for Identity Thief so 150 total.

Andrew Leon guessed:
1. Die Hard: $39m
2. Safe Haven: $30m
3. Identity Thief: $22m

100 for Die Hard and then 50 each for Safe Haven and Identity Thief being in the wrong order.  So 200 total.

 Maurice Mitchell guessed:
1. A Good Day to Die Hard $55M (Die Hard always opens big)
2. Identity Thief - $20 million (The comedy is going strong)
3. Safe Haven - $30 million (Long weekends always bring out the romantics

That's a trifecta!  300 points for him.  That might have won, except...

Tony Laplume guessed:
1. A Good Day to Die Hard ($45 mil)
2. Identity Thief ($25 mil)
3. Safe Haven ($20 mil)

That's another trifecta.  And since Tony was closer to the total for Die Hard, he gets the win and the 500 bonus points.

As for the bonus question, the answer was LESS.  Only two people actually guessed Less:  Andrew Leon and Briane Pagel.  By coin flip Briane gets the 100 point bonus.

And here are your updated scores.  Tony's expanded his lead now to 650 points.  So everyone's got some catching up to do!


Box Office Blitz

Scoreboard





6 Total
Tony Laplume 800 2800
PT Dilloway 200 2150
Andrew Leon 200 1600
Rusty Carl 150 900
Maurice Mitchell 300 550
Michael Offutt 0 400
Briane Pagel 200 400
Stephen Hayes 0 250
Donna Hole 0 200
David P King 0 200

1850 9450

Saturday, February 16, 2013

For Your Consideration

I was working on some covers for my Chances Are series.  I was trying to find stock photos, but then I saw a neat picture on Fotolia and got another idea.  This was the picture, although it was in black-and-white, not blue and obviously it didn't have text on it.

Anyway, the silhouette and shadow gave me an idea.  In the first book a grizzled cop named Steve becomes a young woman named Stacey, so I thought of using a woman's silhouette but with a man's shadow, like this:

In the second one Stacey becomes a little girl, so this one has a little girl's silhouette with a woman's shadow:

Finally in the third one she's getting married, but a killer Steve put away 25 years ago breaks out of jail to come after her.  So I thought to use a bride silhouette and then a skeleton shadow.

I'm not thrilled with the skeleton; I think I need to find a better picture for it.

Anyway, these are just prototypes.  I'm just curious what you think of the concept, if it's neat or if it's stupid.



Friday, February 15, 2013

Box Office Blitz Week 6

Last week three people got all three top movies in exactly the right order. Unfortunately one of those wasn't me so now Tony Laplume is atop the leaderboard by a mere 50 points.

This week I can guarantee you that everyone can get a minimum of 100 points pretty much for showing up.  I mean the #1 movie for this weekend is pretty freaking obvious I think.  Unless there's some kind of natural disaster or something.






Here's the movies in my local theater: (* means new release)
A Good Day to Die Hard*
Argo
Beautiful Creatures*
Bullet to the Head

Escape from Planet Earth*
Gangster Squad
Hansel & Gretel
Identity Thief
Mama
Parental Guidance
Parker

Safe Haven*
Side Effects
Silver Linings Playbook
The Impossible
Warm Bodies
Zero Dark Thirty


As I said, I think the #1 movie is pretty freaking obvious this week.  Of course last week I had zero confidence in "Identity Theft" and it about doubled the #2 movie last week.  So maybe I'm not the super-genius at this that I think I am.  I really don't know anything about the other two movies being released.  I really have no idea then if they'll do anything or not.  My guess is not, but clearly I've been wrong before and will be wrong again.

Anyway, my picks are:
  1. A Good Day to Die Hard $50M
  2. Identity Theft $18M
  3. Warm Bodies $9M

Now you make your picks in the comments.  Make sure to include dollar amounts as it's very likely that will have to be the tiebreaker this week, just like last week.

And now for a bonus question worth an extra 100 points to someone who guesses correctly.  Make sure to include that in the comments too.  Here's the question, another (MORE or LESS) question:

Last weekend the top 3 movies earned $59M roughly.  Will the #1 movie this weekend make MORE or LESS than that $59M?

Results as usual will be posted Sunday afternoon, so if you can find time, check back to see where you are in the standings.  Good luck!

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Thursday Review: The Marriage Plot

Happy Valentine's Day!  Here's another randomly chosen book review that is not so romantic:  The Marriage Plot Jeffrey Eugenides.  I actually listened to the audiobook for this because I got it for free.  Even so I still wanted a refund.

The Marriage Plot
by Jeffrey Eugenides
(2/5 stars)

It was about eight months ago when I finished reading Richard Russo's "Bridge of Sighs" which was the first novel Russo published after winning the Pulitzer. Overall I found it to be extremely dull. Part of what I theorized was that Russo had tried way too hard to prove himself after winning the highest award of American literature.

I mention that because this is Eugenides's first novel after winning the Pulitzer for "Middlesex" and it suffers from the same problems, although it mercifully isn't as long. Overall Eugenides's attempts to create something profound and deep winds up being a dull slog, not anywhere near as good as his two previous novels.

First off, I think his entire concept that the "marriage plot" doesn't exist anymore is flawed. There are plenty of books that still deal with marriage. Even I've written one! Maybe there aren't as many waltzes and as much worrying about manners, but marriage still remains a key part of many literary novels. More than a few of those are updates of Jane Austen or other Victorian stories too. Really Jane Austen has been updated every which way by now from sequels to being told from different narrators to being set in modern day to adding zombies and sea monsters. So there's nothing groundbreaking about this story.

This story takes place in the 1980s probably for the reason that it was easier for the author to write about twentysomethings during the period when he was twentysomething as opposed to trying to write about the 2010s. Mentioning the recession of the early 80s is of course supposed to make us think of the parallels to now.

It all starts at Brown University in Rhode Island. Spoiled little rich girl Madeline is pursuing a useless degree in English, focusing on Victorian literature. You can afford to waste your life like that when Mommy and Daddy (which she still calls them despite being 22) are paying all the bills. Madeline is finally graduating. It takes Eugenides a good track of the audiobook to finally inform us that the doorbell is ringing and her parents are visiting to watch her graduate.

Weeks earlier she broke up with Leonard, a quirky poor boy from Oregon. But on the way to graduating, she finds out Leonard is in the hospital after a nervous breakdown. She finds out that he's suffering from manic depression. Madeline is the type suffering from Florence Nightingale syndrome and soon becomes essentially Leonard's nurse.

At the same time, in a largely pointless subplot, Madeline's sometimes friend Mitchell is doing like so many kids his age and going backpacking through Europe with his friend Larry. Along the way Mitchell obsesses about Madeline. Why? Because the plot calls for it. I can't see much about her that's worth obsessing about. He also becomes Born Again and says "the Jesus Prayer" about 700 times, which is really annoying in an audiobook because I wondered if the CD was skipping. He finally goes to help Mother Teresa in India.

Eventually, thanks to unwisely cutting back on his meds, Leonard convinces Madeline to marry him. Needless to say this doesn't work out so well.

To put it mildly, this book was drudgery. None of the characters are very likable. Madeline is a whiny bore. Leonard is often a bully. Mitchell is a creep who should be watching Madeline with high-powered binoculars. There's no reason I'd ever want to read about any of these people. Nor do I care who marries who or doesn't marry who. They could all fall off a cliff for all I care.

The writing is mostly fine, though there was one laughable section where Mitchell stares at a French girl's butt and thinks that it's alive and looking at him. That only made me think of Jim Carrey in "Ace Ventura" talking out his butt, which I do all the time. I should also mention for the more sensitive reader there are some pretty explicit sex scenes and bad language, Hard-R rated kind of stuff if not NC-17.

What I hate most of all though is that it uses that structure where it starts in the present and then we have to go back through what's happened before that. Often we have to hear what happens from Madeline's point of view and then Leonard's or Mitchell's. There's often gratuitous exposition, most of it not mattering at all. There's so much discussion of philosophy, literature, and religion classes that the reader should get course credit at Brown for reading it.

Really there are so many better books you could read. For twentysomethings in the '80s read "Less Than Zero" or "The Mysteries of Pittsburgh." For a novel about a woman torn between a man with a debilitating condition and another guy, read "The Dive From Clausen's Pier." Or you could read Jane Austen. Or for another book about marriage, read "Where You Belong" by Yours Truly.

(2/5 stars)

Tomorrow Box Office Blitz Continues!

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

SAVE!!! SAVE!!! SAVE!!!

Well after the complete lack of sales yesterday, I can only assume that asking you people to pay $2.99 for a book was asking much too much.  I mean clearly that $2.99 would just break your wallets right open and force you into bankruptcy.

So I've lowered the price to a mere 99 cents.  That's pretty much less than a hamburger at McDonald's.

It may take a few hours for the price change to show up on Amazon or B&N but you can always go to Smashwords to buy it.  Or maybe that's just way too much trouble to go to.  Maybe I should just email everyone free copies, right?

Grumpy.


Superhero Trivia for Dummies

In case January's question wasn't easy enough, February's question is much easier!  In fact, it's impossible to get this question wrong, although one answer is righter than the others.  So here we go:

What color is the Scarlet Knight's armor?
A.  Scarlet
B.  Scarlet
C.  Scarlet
D.  All of the Above


The first one to answer the obvious gets a $5 Amazon gift card.

The Andrew Leon Rule is no longer in effect.  It's anyone's game now!  Probably Andrew's, but trying to beat him to it should be added motivation.

So good luck...as if you need it.

Tomorrow I review something!

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Two-Cent Tuesday: Volume 2 is Here!

Today is the official release day for Time Enough to Say Goodbye, Tales of the Scarlet Knight Volume II.  Yes, that's quite a mouthful.  The good thing is that makes it easier to find in search engines, which is what I keep telling all these people who give their books one-word titles because they think it's cool.  Search engine optimization!

Anyway, like Volume I, Volume II costs only $2.99.  If it still says $299.99 somewhere that's because they haven't updated the site yet.  So just go to the Smashwords page and you can download it in whatever format you want:  Mobi for Kindle, ePub for Nook/Kobo, or PDF to read on your PC.  It is on Amazon & B&N but I make more money if you buy it from the Smashwords site.  I'm just saying.

Volume II actually has a long history to it.  I wrote the first draft starting in August 2009.  I remember that because it was the first book I wrote on my netbook.  I remember I wrote the first chapter in a Big Boy restaurant in Novi, MI just to test the newfound freedom of not needing a power cord.

I was never fully happy with that first version of the story.  It seemed like it needed something to make it more exciting.  The character of the Watchmaker especially was kind of boring.  I decided to rewrite it last year.  Except the rewrite didn't end up being much more exciting in a lot of ways.  Michael Offutt beta-read it and eventually we came up with the idea of introducing demons!

Demons already existed in a prequel story I'd written, one that focused on the witch character, Sylvia Joubert.  I hadn't really used them in any Scarlet Knight stories, but they seemed like a natural fit.  That allowed me to rewrite the Watchmaker and make him a scarier, more badass villain than before.  It also altered Marie Marsh's character by giving her some new abilities.

So now I think Volume II is a lot better than that early draft.  At the same time it still retains the best elements from that.

Like most of the Scarlet Knight stories, the plot revolves largely around sacrifices that need to be made.  For Emma Earl, aka the Scarlet Knight, the sacrifice is those people who are the ones she cares about the most:  her parents.

If you read the end of the first book then you know Marie Marsh has a weird pale eye that lets her see into the past and communicate with a little girl in the 19th Century named Veronica.  With some help from a mysterious old man who calls himself the Watchmaker, Marie finds a way to use her eye to actually go back in time to 1876 so she can save Veronica from dying from a fever by bringing her to the present.

This changes the timeline and suddenly Emma finds herself back at her old house with her parents still alive.  Even better yet, Emma is about to marry Dan Dreyfus, the love of her life.  Can Emma give all that up to put things right again?  Can Marie give up Veronica to put things right again?  And what's the deal with the Watchmaker?  Hurm...

If that's not enough of an enticement, let me just say this:  the end battle involves demons, ninja witches, and a giant worm.

You know you want it, and for $2.99 why not?  Go buy it now!

Tomorrow is the easiest Superhero Trivia question ever so you can win $5 that would allow you to stock up on both Scarlet Knight books.  I'm just saying.

Monday, February 11, 2013

Comic Captions 2/11/13

It's another Comic Captions, where I take a panel of a comic book and you get to caption it.  As always the fun is relative to how much effort you put into it.

This week's is from Firestorm (2004) #4

Firestorm:  This Comic Captions is brought to you by H for Humiliating.

Now it's your turn!

Tomorrow Time Enough to Say Goodbye, Tales of the Scarlet Knight Volume II is released!  Excited yet?

Sunday, February 10, 2013

Box Office Blitz Week 5 Results: Trifecta Trifecta!

Well last week I crowed about how I got the trifecta--all three movies in proper order.  So of course this week I failed miserably and 3 other people scored the trifecta.  That'll show me.  Those people would be Rusty Carl, Tony Laplume, and Michael Offutt.

My mistake was seriously underestimating stupid Jason Bateman comedies--because like every other Jason Bateman comedy since the 80s had failed.  But I guess a lack of anything better in February allowed this to succeed beyond anyone's expectations.


The final results were:
  1. Identity Thief $37M
  2. Warm Bodies $12M
  3. Side Effects $10M

My sad picks were:
  1. Warm Bodies $18M
  2. Silver Linings Playbook $10M
  3. Side Effects $8M
I do get 50 points for Warm Bodies and 100 points for Side Effects.  So that's 150 points for me.

Now to the trifectas:
Rusty Carl had:
Identity Theft - $20 mil
Warm Bodies - $17 mil
Side Effects - $10 mil

That's 300 points for Rusty.

Michael Offutt finally played for real and guessed:
Identity Thief 18 mil
Warm Bodies 15 mil
Side Effects 13 mil

That's 300 for him.

And Tony Laplume had:
1. Identity Thief ($25 mil)
2. Warm Bodies ($11 mil)
3. Side Effects ($10 mil)

300 for Tony.  Now since the final box office was $37M, Tony also wins the round since he bid higher than Michael or Rusty.  So a total of 800 for Tony.

As for the other mere mortals:
Andrew Leon had:
Identity Thief -- $24m
Side Effects -- $16m
Warm Bodies -- $12m

He gets 100 for Identity Thief and 50 for transposing the other two.  That's 200 overall.

Briane Pagel had:

Warm Bodies $13 mil
Side Effects $12 mil
identity thief $10 mil

That's 50 for each one for a total of 150.

And Donna Hole had:
Identity Thief
Mama
Warm Bodies

That's 100 for Identity Thief and 50 for Warm Bodies.

Now as for the bonus question.  I asked whether the bottom three movies would make more or less than the $8M last week's brought in.  The bottom three were:
Argo $2.5M
Django Unchained $2.3M
Bullet to the Head $2M

So that's $6.8M which would be LESS.

Rusty and Andrew both guessed less.  I flipped a coin and it came up on Andrew.  So he gets the 200 points for the bonus question.

The updated scores:


5 Total
Tony Laplume 800 2000
PT Dilloway 150 1950
Andrew Leon 400 1400
Rusty Carl 300 750
Michael Offutt 300 400
Stephen Hayes 0 250
Maurice Mitchell 0 250
Donna Hole 150 200
Briane Pagel 150 200
David P King 0 200

2250 7600

So Tony has taken over the lead, but by a mere 50 points.  Andrew is close behind.  The rest of y'all have some catching up to do.

Next week I can almost guarantee you can make 100 points minimum.  I mean I think we can all guess the #1 movie next week.  Yippie ki yay motherfuckers!

Tomorrow is Comic Captions!

Friday, February 8, 2013

Box Office Blitz Week 5

It's time for Week 5 of Box Office Blitz!  It's the game where you try to predict who will win the movie box office this weekend. 

Last week I got all three correct, which is obviously a tough act to follow.  That put me in the lead by 600 points, but there's still plenty of time for others to catch up.

Here are this week's slate of movies from my local theater. (*indicates a new release)



Argo
Broken City
Bullet to the Head
Gangster Squad
Hansel & Gretel
Identity Thief*
Mama
Parental Guidance
Movie 43
Parker
Side Effects*
Silver Linings Playbook
Stand Up Guys
Guilt Trip
The Impossible
Warm Bodies
Zero Dark Thirty

Only two new movies and I'm not sold on either of them.  So I will go with:

  1. Warm Bodies $18M
  2. Silver Linings Playbook $10M
  3. Side Effects $8M

After last week you may want to copy me.  Just don't copy the dollar amounts or we're screwed.

As a bonus question last week I asked how many showings the craptacular "Movie 43" would have this week.  The answer remarkably was 5!  I suppose it helped that there are only 2 new movies this week.  From checking the answers last week no one got it right.  So no one gets the 100 point bonus.  But never fear, that means this week's bonus question will be worth 200 points!  I'll make it Yes or No just so we have a winner.  If there's a tie (which I would hope) then I'll use random.org to pick a winner.

Here's the question:
Last week's #8-10 movies made a combined $8M.  Will the bottom 3 of the top 10 make more or less this week?

As usual post your answers in the comments and results will be updated on Sunday.  Good luck!

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