Hardly anyone read last week's Comics Recap entry, but that won't stop me from doing it again this week!
There were still a few I had left in a bundle of indie comics I bought a while back. I finally finished them, which is good, because they were taking up a lot of space on my Kindle Fire.
Twilight Monk, Vol 1: The characters were drawn like manga and I suppose the material isn't that different either. So I guess if you like manga or anime or stuff like that you'd probably like this. I don't, so I didn't really. (2/5)
Ultrasylvania: This is supposed to be an alternate history where Cleopatra came back to life in the 18th Century and started taking over the world. Much of Europe ends up being split between Dracula and Frankenstein. The former is king of Ultrasylvania. This book was a little confusing as it jumps not only between different time periods, but different artists as well. The overall story is about Bram Stoker infiltrating Dracula's castle to write his biography, which wasn't all that interesting, more of a framing device. (2.5/5)
The Wastelands: Rahu: So there's like some kind of demon and he's running around an old temple or something. Whatever. The artwork was kind of crude, especially the dialog bubbles, which were overly big and messy. (1.5/5)
Normandy: A Graphic History of D-Day: This wasn't really part of the bundle, but it was a free one I got on the anniversary of D-Day. As you'd expect it's an illustrated story of D-Day. It doesn't really use a comic book format with word bubbles and stuff. Instead it's more prose with panels to illustrate it. It does a good job of not being too pro-Allies (or pro-Nazis) so that it details what both sides were doing. It doesn't just cover actual D-Day but from then until the Allies liberate Paris. As you can see, it was pretty close to a disaster. You can probably find a dozen examples where in a parallel universe one thing could go differently and the Nazis might still own Europe. There were a couple of typos it seemed like and a lot of the characters looked the same, but if you're too lazy to read a book or watch a movie, it's a good way to catch up on the history of D-Day. (3.5/5)
There were a lot more in the bundle that were single issue comics. I read through those a long time ago. My favorite was probably the one about Sherlock Holmes and Watson only it was set in Harlem, so they were both black. I'm not sure they've done that in TV/movies yet. Or maybe they have.
Perhaps it's ironic I really didn't care much about the superhero comics. I guess because the ones included were pretty much derivative. There are so many superhero comics that unless you do something different with the formula it's really hard to stand out. Which is why you should read the Girl Power series. I'm just saying.
Anyway, Happy Thanksgiving. I'll probably be eating hot dogs in my room. And Black Friday I'll probably also be eating hot dogs in my room.
Wednesday, November 26, 2014
Monday, November 24, 2014
Get Transformed for Christmas on Black Friday!
I haven't had much luck with Amazon's pre-order system so far, but I'm going to try it one last time to release the holiday-themed book in the bestselling Transformed series: Transformed for Christmas.
The overall story should be pretty familiar, as there are probably a billion different versions of A Christmas Carol by now. In this case, Edward Scrouge is a greedy businessman putting profits before people. Then on Christmas Eve night, the ghost of his former business partner visits him to tell him he'll be visited by three ghosts.
The twist on the old story is that the ghosts put Edward inside the minds of three women: one from his past, one from his present, and one in his future. The title is a little misleading as he doesn't actually become these women. He's just inside their brains so he can see what they see and feel what they feel. And through this he starts to realize the error of his ways.
The story is pretty mainstream, but so I could file this under erotica there are some sex scenes thrown in. Viewer discretion is advised.
Provided Amazon doesn't screw it up, you should be able to buy it on Black Friday for only $2.99! Here's a sample, where Edward meets the ghost of his dead partner:
The overall story should be pretty familiar, as there are probably a billion different versions of A Christmas Carol by now. In this case, Edward Scrouge is a greedy businessman putting profits before people. Then on Christmas Eve night, the ghost of his former business partner visits him to tell him he'll be visited by three ghosts.
The twist on the old story is that the ghosts put Edward inside the minds of three women: one from his past, one from his present, and one in his future. The title is a little misleading as he doesn't actually become these women. He's just inside their brains so he can see what they see and feel what they feel. And through this he starts to realize the error of his ways.
The story is pretty mainstream, but so I could file this under erotica there are some sex scenes thrown in. Viewer discretion is advised.
Provided Amazon doesn't screw it up, you should be able to buy it on Black Friday for only $2.99! Here's a sample, where Edward meets the ghost of his dead partner:
He must nod off in the chair, because the anchor on the screen is Jackson Morley, his old partner. The problem is that Jackson has been dead for ten years now. He died of a stroke about two months after Edward bought him out and took his name off the stationary.At first Jackson reads a report about falling crude oil prices, but then he stops, his eyes seeming to focus on Edward. “There’s still time, Edward. There’s still time to save yourself.”Edward shakes his head and then flips to Bloomberg. Jackson is in the anchor chair there too. “Change your ways now, Edward, before it’s too late.”Edward stabs the power button on the remote. He chugs down the last of the Scotch. He must be seeing things. Tomorrow he should have Bobbi make an appointment with the doctor; it’s past time for his annual physical anyway.“I’m not a figment of your imagination,” Jackson hisses. Edward can’t resist letting out a yelp to see the spectral image of Jackson floating in front of him. “I’ve come to warn you before it’s too late.”“Too late for what?”“To avoid this.” Jackson’s Armani suit blazes with fire; Edward can feel the heat, but the flames don’t seem to affect the floor or carpet. Like in the first Indiana Jones movie, the skin on Jackson’s face melts away, leaving a disgusting mass of charred muscles and bone. A terrible howl escapes where his lips would be. “The fires of damnation await you unless you repent now!”Edward reaches out, trying to touch Jackson’s scorched suit, but his hand goes right through. The heat, while uncomfortable, isn’t as searing as it should be. “What is this, some kind of computer trick? A hologram or something? Whoever is doing this, you’ve got Jackson all wrong. He’s not some fire-and-brimstone preacher. Hell, he was Jewish.”“I am not a trick! Or a hologram. Would a computer simulation know you wet your pants before your first presentation to the Lindt brothers? You had to buy a new suit off the rack at Macy’s.”Edward’s face turns warm with shame; that’s not a memory he’s fond of. “All that means is you’ve done your homework.”“Very well. If you’re not going to believe me, then there’s another way to convince you.” The flames on Jackson’s suit go out; the skin reappears on his face. He points an accusing finger down at Edward. “Tonight you will be visited by three spirits. They will show you the error of your ways and the bleak future that awaits you.”“Sure, three ghosts. Past, present, and future, right?” Edward blows out a raspberry. “I’ve seen this movie before, buddy. You should get some new material.”“I have tried to make you see reason, Edward. It’s a pity I couldn’t do so. You can expect the first ghost at one o’clock. Farewell, my old friend.”“There’s where you got it wrong again. We were never friends. You used me to bring the company into the 21st Century. Then you whined like a little bitch when I pushed you out of the way to take what was mine.”“Goodbye, Edward. Consider what I’ve said. There is still time.” Jackson’s voice gets fainter as his spirit fades away. The moment he finds himself alone again, Edward reaches for the phone to call security.
So after you endure the Black Friday crowds, wind down with a good holiday read! And at $2.99 it probably won't break your budget either.
BTW, today is the last day to get my novella Race Against Time
for free. When I was writing the story, I consulted this handy
diagram I composed on PowerPoint using Sims made for other stories so I
could keep straight what the characters were supposed to look like for
each chapter:
So there you go, some insight into the writing process.
So there you go, some insight into the writing process.
Friday, November 21, 2014
More FREE Books!
For no really good reason I put a couple of my books on sale for FREE on Amazon now through Sunday/Monday. If you ever wanted to sample some of my pseudonym Eric Filler's bestselling prose, now is the time!
First there's Transformed Into a Cougar (Transformed #10). Which of course we're not talking about the big cat cougars; we're talking about a still-hot middle-aged chick. But that wouldn't have really fit on the cover, would it?
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| FREE! |
Like all of these (except the holiday ones) it features two stories. In "On the Prowl" a slick young bachelor runs afoul of an older woman, who turns him into her wingman--or wingwoman. So now he has to seduce young guys like he used to be. But things go awry when he falls in love with his prey.
"Hot for Teacher" features one of the odder devices I've used in these stories. Basically there's a comet that comes by once every 100 years or so. When a high school boy makes a wish on the comet, he becomes his hot teacher! And then mayhem ensues as the boy and the teacher engage in a war of wishing on the comet.
It's FREE through Sunday, so get it now!
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| Also FREE! |
Given the nature of the story, the chapter numbers run backwards, from Chapter 18 to Chapter 0, ie the Epilogue. I decided to have a lot of fun by incorporating as many characters and locations from other stories as possible. So at one point the detective becomes Velocity Gal of the Girl Power series and in another level she turns into Stacey Chance. The detective herself hails from the Scarlet Knight series. It's pretty much filled with more in-jokes than an episode of Family Guy.
Some dork gave it one star because it "doesn't command the reader's attention." Well dipshit maybe that's because the only other things you review are video games and video game equipment. Anyway, I doubt I'll get any [good] reviews, but what the hell.
It's FREE through Monday, so get it!
I suppose even if you don't want to read them, you can download both, just to help my position on the Amazon charts. The Cougar one got to #3 on the Top 100 Free of this list in the US & UK. So that's something.
Anyway, I could call this my birthday gift to you. Saturday is my birthday, which I'll be celebrating in Scottsdale by doing almost nothing because I have no money until next week. Hooray!
Wednesday, November 19, 2014
Comics Recap 11/19/14
I haven't done one of these since before I started my road trip. So there are quite a few things here. Let's start with the ones by the big publishers:
Annihilation, Book 1: This was part of some big crossover Marvel thing a few years ago. If you saw Guardians of the Galaxy then you know about the Nova Corps, sort of the Marvel version of the Green Lanterns. Basically a swarm of aliens wipes out the Nova Corps, except the one human guy, which is sort of what happened in Green Lantern comics in the mid-90s. There's also a 4-issue Drax the Destroyer series included, which really had little to do with anything except to explain why Drax was hanging around with a little human girl. There's a lot more to this series, but I didn't really care. (2/5)
Deathstroke, Volume 1: This was the initial New 52 series published in 2011 (and canceled and then relaunched recently). It focuses on the assassin Deathstroke and someone trying to kill him. It was OK, but it really sucked they only included 6 issues and the story arc was 7 issues. I think the Deathstroke in Arrow was better. I'm just saying. (2.5/5)
Daredevil, Volume 1: This was the start of the Mark Waid run on the title, which might still be ongoing. I don't really know. Anyway, I think this was fairly recent. It's sort of a "soft reboot" as Daredevil returns to New York after a scandal drove him away. It's fun even if the villains were kind of lame. Briane Pagel might consider something Daredevil does, which is to charge people to train them to represent themselves in court. Additional revenue stream! (3.5/5)
The Flash Rebirth: This isn't Barry Allen's return to the DC universe as the title would suggest. He's already back but like Captain America is "out of time" since he "died" years ago. If you know more about the Flash then this is probably better. As it is, I only had a bare idea of what the Speed Force is and so forth, mostly from reading Tony Laplume's blog. (2.5/5)
Batgirl Volumes 2-5: They had the whole New 52 series on sale at one point so I bought all the issues I hadn't read. Overall I liked them. Mostly since Barbara Gordon is smart and has red hair I think of the Scarlet Knight series. In these 28-ish issues she has to battle the Joker, a vigilante with the stupid name of Knightfall, and her own brother! The last issue wrapped things up nicely; they recently did a soft reboot when they brought in a new writer. What really annoyed me is like the Deathstroke one they did a shitty job at splitting these up between volumes, so that Volume 3 would end with one issue left in a story arc. It wasn't that bad since I'd bought all the issues but it made it annoying on Goodreads. Really DC, get it together! (3.5/5)
Deadpool Classic, Volume 1: This features the origin of Deadpool in some random X-Men comic and then a couple of different attempts to launch a series for him. Because of this there's not a lot of cohesion to this volume, especially since the various series are years apart. It's interesting though to see the humble origins of the "Merc with a mouth." (2.5/5)
Uncanny X-Force, Apocalypse Solution: Wolverine and some other less-famous mutants have to hunt down a little kid who is the reborn Apocalypse. Mayhem ensues. (2/5)
Wolverine, Old Man Logan: This is an alternate universe tale set in the future. Wolverine has taken a vow of non-violence and is working a farm with a wife and kids. Meanwhile, villains like Dr. Doom, Red Skull, and the Kingpin have split up America and killed most of the heroes. Then a blind, old Hawkeye shows up and offers Wolverine a shitload of money to deliver a package across the country. Mayhem ensues. It was pretty interesting and since it comes from Mark Millar (the Kick-Ass series) there's a lot of violence and blood. (3/5)
Gotham By Gaslight: This came out before the term "steampunk" was coined. But essentially it's a steampunk Batman. It wasn't really that interesting. (2/5)
52: This was a big deal back in 2006. Basically for a year Superman, Wonder Woman, and Batman are out of action, so other heroes have to pick up the slack. There are 52 issues that focus on one week of that year. It focuses on characters you probably don't know much about like Booster Gold, the Question, Black Adam (to be played by the Rock in the Shazam movie), and Batwoman. Almost as interesting as the comics are the notes from the writers after each issue. There were 4 main writers who combined to create these, which was a massive undertaking, especially with the weekly time frame. Most of this has been overwritten since then, so it doesn't matter so much now. (4/5)
And now here a bunch of indie comics I got as part of a bundle for $10. Tony Laplume got the same bundle so we've both reviewed some of these.
Life Begins at Incorporation: This is a bunch of "liberal" essays and cartoons. The author is a real liberal's liberal, taking Obama to task for not closing down Gitmo and wanton use of drone strikes. He also exposes the hypocrisy of liberal media kingpin Arianna Huffington, whose Huffington Post largely uses free labor (authors being paid in "exposure" lol) and then cashed in for $320 million to AOL. But there's also plenty of venom for the Tea Party, NRA, and big corporations, for which the book is named. The author also visited Afghanistan and provides some inside dope on the situation there, like for instance that many Afghans have no clue what 9/11 was, thus don't really understand what the fuck we're doing there. How much you like this would depend on your politics. (4/5)
Jackie Rose: This is kind of Sky Captain & The World of Tomorrow meets The Goonies. The eponymous character is a 16-year-old girl in an alternate 30s with a sidekick who is really into planes and dreams of asking her out. This first volume focuses on a group of air pirates. It was fun and unlike the Sky Captain movie didn't take the technology to ridiculous extremes, ie there are airships but not giant robots or helicarriers. (3/5)
Footprints: This is kind of like Watchmen only with mythical beasts. The foot in the title is Bigfoot, whose brother the Yeti is killed. So he rounds up a super team featuring the Loch Ness Monster, Megalodon (giant shark), Jersey Devil (demon), and Chubacabra (giant pig dog thing). It's told as a noir tale and if you can handle the absurdity of the premise, it's OK. (2.5/5)
Dust: Withered Earth: I bailed on this one pretty quick. The characters looked like they were drawn by Napoleon Dynamite and the story seemed like your typical post-apocalytpic Western thing. Yawn. (0/5)
Chronic Argonauts: This is a good one for fans of Dr. Who. Only it starts in the 19th Century in a little village. To escape the persecution of his religious neighbors, a man invents a time machine to go into the future. He takes a reverend with him, but they find that their leaving has opened Earth up to being dominated by a whacko Christian sect. But things get worse when they go even farther into the future. It has some of the silliness of Dr. Who, which I judge based on one episode I watched, which is why I think fans of that would like it more than I did. (2.5/5)
Dumbing of Age: This takes place on the campus of Indiana University (why not Butler so it could have Blue II or Blue III?!) and focuses on a group of freshmen. One is a really naive ultra-Christian girl, another is a former cheerleader, and so on. And one girl is the resident vigilante on campus, dressing up like a superhero to take down bullies and the like. It's fun and seemingly light-hearted even when it covers serious ground. Between the cartoonish art and the subject matter it's like a modern twist on Archie comics. (4/5)
Bikini Cowboy: An absurdist Western about (you guessed it) a cowgirl who dresses in a bikini and carries around a surfboard. She befriends a little boy while searching for the perfect wave--in the desert. I know Tony Laplume liked it a lot more than I did. (2.5/5)
Astronaut Dad: This is a tale of the early space program when 3 astronauts were used to spy on the Russians from space. The focus (as you might guess from the title) is on their families. I really liked it as it covers serious ground without being too serious. The black-and-white cartoonish art helps to give it a nostalgic air too. (4/5)
Deadhorse, Book 1: I really don't know what was going on in this. A middle-aged guy and a younger guy and girl were looking for something and some politician was involved and whatever. Unlike most of these it didn't really wrap up in one volume, which kind of sucks. I had no interest in buying the second one. (2/5)
Chloe Noonan, Monster Hunter: This is about a young British girl who (big surprise) hunts monsters but finds the job to be a real pain in the ass. Much of it seems to be about her and her best friend trying to get dates while the monster hunting thing gets in the way. If you watched Buffy you might like this more. (2/5)
Binary: This reminded me of Neil Vogler's upcoming book Tripler. Only in Tripler it's one person who can become three, but in this it's two people who are psychically connected. And for whatever reason these "Binaries" go around killing people and stuff. The plot is like Demolition Man where a couple of cops are unfrozen in the future to hunt down a rogue Binary. Overall it felt derivative. (2/5)
Archeologists of Shadows: I know Tony Laplume really liked this. I didn't really know what the hell was going on. For some reason people in this future make themselves into robots but there are two kids who aren't robot-y enough and thus are hunted by bad guys. The artwork was really nice but the story had sort of that video game feel of the Matrix Reloaded. (2/5)
Moth City, Season 1, Part 2: I'm not sure whose genius idea it was to include Part 2 and not Part 1. Made it kind of confusing. And I hate these ones that are set up to be kind of like motion comics. You have to keep tapping the screen to not only bring up each panel, but each dialog box or text box. It gets to be annoying. So the whole experience was lame. (1/5)
Muktuk Wolfsbreath, Hard Boiled Shaman: As the title suggests, this is written like a noir story, only focusing on a shaman-for-hire in Siberia. Like many of these stories, it starts when a beautiful woman walks into Muktuk's office, er hut, and employs him to save her dying son. Which leads to him having to descend to the lowest depths and loftiest peaks of the spirit world to unravel a mystery. It's a lot of fun with the absurdist topic and yet it's a well-written mystery too. Though the shaman names are a little too goofy really. (4/5)
Nathan Sorry: On 9/10/01 the eponymous character doesn't get on a plane from Phoenix to New York and that saves him from dying in the World Trade Center. But the world thinks he's dead and he has a briefcase with access to $20 million. So he goes into hiding in North Carolina. A lot of questions are left unresolved in this and I don't really care enough to read more. (2.5/5)
Snow: One word to describe this: depressing. A woman named Dana (who is 32 but is drawn to look about 10) in Toronto's West Queen St area is losing her job at a bookstore, witnesses a murder, and witnesses domestic abuse (twice). She can't stop the abuse or solve the murder. The end. Um...yay? Yeesh, what a bummer. I guess the idea was kind of a female Canadian version of American Splendor (which I only know of from watching the movie) and on that level I think it pretty much succeeds in bringing a relatively ordinary person to life, though I'm pretty sure the American Splendor guy didn't witness murders. (3/5)
Squid & Owl: This was weird. It's a bunch of silly poems and stuff about a squid and owl. I'm sure Tony Laplume will think it's clever. I thought it was lame. But it does reference cuttlefish, which I saw in Salt Lake's aquarium. (1/5)
Testament: This is a retelling of Abraham and Lot (or something) but it takes place in the near future when a fascist government is implanting people with chips. Mayhem ensues. It was kind of weird. I never really got into it. Maybe because I'm an atheist. (2.5/5)
Thirty-Six: I remember in Michael Chabon's Kavalier and Clay that at one point the comic book artist Joe Kavalier was going to make a comic book based on Jewish mythology commonly known as Kabbalah. This comic actually does that. Basically it's kind of like the X-Men or that "Heroes" show. It's said there are 36 special people who will rise to use their powers to save the world. Though like with X-Men there are two camps with differing views on that. The Xavier group wants to pretty much just keep things going while the Magneto group wants to use the Leviathan to destroy the world and start over. Overall it was pretty good, though the art is kind of crude-looking; Joe Kavalier would have done it better-had he been real. It might be better if you're Jewish. Obviously I'm not. (3/5)
I've only got 3 left in this bundle, plus a couple more things I've bought and haven't gotten to yet. I probably will at some point. But for now you're caught up!
Annihilation, Book 1: This was part of some big crossover Marvel thing a few years ago. If you saw Guardians of the Galaxy then you know about the Nova Corps, sort of the Marvel version of the Green Lanterns. Basically a swarm of aliens wipes out the Nova Corps, except the one human guy, which is sort of what happened in Green Lantern comics in the mid-90s. There's also a 4-issue Drax the Destroyer series included, which really had little to do with anything except to explain why Drax was hanging around with a little human girl. There's a lot more to this series, but I didn't really care. (2/5)
Deathstroke, Volume 1: This was the initial New 52 series published in 2011 (and canceled and then relaunched recently). It focuses on the assassin Deathstroke and someone trying to kill him. It was OK, but it really sucked they only included 6 issues and the story arc was 7 issues. I think the Deathstroke in Arrow was better. I'm just saying. (2.5/5)
Daredevil, Volume 1: This was the start of the Mark Waid run on the title, which might still be ongoing. I don't really know. Anyway, I think this was fairly recent. It's sort of a "soft reboot" as Daredevil returns to New York after a scandal drove him away. It's fun even if the villains were kind of lame. Briane Pagel might consider something Daredevil does, which is to charge people to train them to represent themselves in court. Additional revenue stream! (3.5/5)
The Flash Rebirth: This isn't Barry Allen's return to the DC universe as the title would suggest. He's already back but like Captain America is "out of time" since he "died" years ago. If you know more about the Flash then this is probably better. As it is, I only had a bare idea of what the Speed Force is and so forth, mostly from reading Tony Laplume's blog. (2.5/5)
Batgirl Volumes 2-5: They had the whole New 52 series on sale at one point so I bought all the issues I hadn't read. Overall I liked them. Mostly since Barbara Gordon is smart and has red hair I think of the Scarlet Knight series. In these 28-ish issues she has to battle the Joker, a vigilante with the stupid name of Knightfall, and her own brother! The last issue wrapped things up nicely; they recently did a soft reboot when they brought in a new writer. What really annoyed me is like the Deathstroke one they did a shitty job at splitting these up between volumes, so that Volume 3 would end with one issue left in a story arc. It wasn't that bad since I'd bought all the issues but it made it annoying on Goodreads. Really DC, get it together! (3.5/5)
Deadpool Classic, Volume 1: This features the origin of Deadpool in some random X-Men comic and then a couple of different attempts to launch a series for him. Because of this there's not a lot of cohesion to this volume, especially since the various series are years apart. It's interesting though to see the humble origins of the "Merc with a mouth." (2.5/5)
Uncanny X-Force, Apocalypse Solution: Wolverine and some other less-famous mutants have to hunt down a little kid who is the reborn Apocalypse. Mayhem ensues. (2/5)
Wolverine, Old Man Logan: This is an alternate universe tale set in the future. Wolverine has taken a vow of non-violence and is working a farm with a wife and kids. Meanwhile, villains like Dr. Doom, Red Skull, and the Kingpin have split up America and killed most of the heroes. Then a blind, old Hawkeye shows up and offers Wolverine a shitload of money to deliver a package across the country. Mayhem ensues. It was pretty interesting and since it comes from Mark Millar (the Kick-Ass series) there's a lot of violence and blood. (3/5)
Gotham By Gaslight: This came out before the term "steampunk" was coined. But essentially it's a steampunk Batman. It wasn't really that interesting. (2/5)
52: This was a big deal back in 2006. Basically for a year Superman, Wonder Woman, and Batman are out of action, so other heroes have to pick up the slack. There are 52 issues that focus on one week of that year. It focuses on characters you probably don't know much about like Booster Gold, the Question, Black Adam (to be played by the Rock in the Shazam movie), and Batwoman. Almost as interesting as the comics are the notes from the writers after each issue. There were 4 main writers who combined to create these, which was a massive undertaking, especially with the weekly time frame. Most of this has been overwritten since then, so it doesn't matter so much now. (4/5)
And now here a bunch of indie comics I got as part of a bundle for $10. Tony Laplume got the same bundle so we've both reviewed some of these.
Life Begins at Incorporation: This is a bunch of "liberal" essays and cartoons. The author is a real liberal's liberal, taking Obama to task for not closing down Gitmo and wanton use of drone strikes. He also exposes the hypocrisy of liberal media kingpin Arianna Huffington, whose Huffington Post largely uses free labor (authors being paid in "exposure" lol) and then cashed in for $320 million to AOL. But there's also plenty of venom for the Tea Party, NRA, and big corporations, for which the book is named. The author also visited Afghanistan and provides some inside dope on the situation there, like for instance that many Afghans have no clue what 9/11 was, thus don't really understand what the fuck we're doing there. How much you like this would depend on your politics. (4/5)
Jackie Rose: This is kind of Sky Captain & The World of Tomorrow meets The Goonies. The eponymous character is a 16-year-old girl in an alternate 30s with a sidekick who is really into planes and dreams of asking her out. This first volume focuses on a group of air pirates. It was fun and unlike the Sky Captain movie didn't take the technology to ridiculous extremes, ie there are airships but not giant robots or helicarriers. (3/5)
Footprints: This is kind of like Watchmen only with mythical beasts. The foot in the title is Bigfoot, whose brother the Yeti is killed. So he rounds up a super team featuring the Loch Ness Monster, Megalodon (giant shark), Jersey Devil (demon), and Chubacabra (giant pig dog thing). It's told as a noir tale and if you can handle the absurdity of the premise, it's OK. (2.5/5)
Dust: Withered Earth: I bailed on this one pretty quick. The characters looked like they were drawn by Napoleon Dynamite and the story seemed like your typical post-apocalytpic Western thing. Yawn. (0/5)
Chronic Argonauts: This is a good one for fans of Dr. Who. Only it starts in the 19th Century in a little village. To escape the persecution of his religious neighbors, a man invents a time machine to go into the future. He takes a reverend with him, but they find that their leaving has opened Earth up to being dominated by a whacko Christian sect. But things get worse when they go even farther into the future. It has some of the silliness of Dr. Who, which I judge based on one episode I watched, which is why I think fans of that would like it more than I did. (2.5/5)
Dumbing of Age: This takes place on the campus of Indiana University (why not Butler so it could have Blue II or Blue III?!) and focuses on a group of freshmen. One is a really naive ultra-Christian girl, another is a former cheerleader, and so on. And one girl is the resident vigilante on campus, dressing up like a superhero to take down bullies and the like. It's fun and seemingly light-hearted even when it covers serious ground. Between the cartoonish art and the subject matter it's like a modern twist on Archie comics. (4/5)
Bikini Cowboy: An absurdist Western about (you guessed it) a cowgirl who dresses in a bikini and carries around a surfboard. She befriends a little boy while searching for the perfect wave--in the desert. I know Tony Laplume liked it a lot more than I did. (2.5/5)
Astronaut Dad: This is a tale of the early space program when 3 astronauts were used to spy on the Russians from space. The focus (as you might guess from the title) is on their families. I really liked it as it covers serious ground without being too serious. The black-and-white cartoonish art helps to give it a nostalgic air too. (4/5)
Deadhorse, Book 1: I really don't know what was going on in this. A middle-aged guy and a younger guy and girl were looking for something and some politician was involved and whatever. Unlike most of these it didn't really wrap up in one volume, which kind of sucks. I had no interest in buying the second one. (2/5)
Chloe Noonan, Monster Hunter: This is about a young British girl who (big surprise) hunts monsters but finds the job to be a real pain in the ass. Much of it seems to be about her and her best friend trying to get dates while the monster hunting thing gets in the way. If you watched Buffy you might like this more. (2/5)
Binary: This reminded me of Neil Vogler's upcoming book Tripler. Only in Tripler it's one person who can become three, but in this it's two people who are psychically connected. And for whatever reason these "Binaries" go around killing people and stuff. The plot is like Demolition Man where a couple of cops are unfrozen in the future to hunt down a rogue Binary. Overall it felt derivative. (2/5)
Archeologists of Shadows: I know Tony Laplume really liked this. I didn't really know what the hell was going on. For some reason people in this future make themselves into robots but there are two kids who aren't robot-y enough and thus are hunted by bad guys. The artwork was really nice but the story had sort of that video game feel of the Matrix Reloaded. (2/5)
Moth City, Season 1, Part 2: I'm not sure whose genius idea it was to include Part 2 and not Part 1. Made it kind of confusing. And I hate these ones that are set up to be kind of like motion comics. You have to keep tapping the screen to not only bring up each panel, but each dialog box or text box. It gets to be annoying. So the whole experience was lame. (1/5)
Muktuk Wolfsbreath, Hard Boiled Shaman: As the title suggests, this is written like a noir story, only focusing on a shaman-for-hire in Siberia. Like many of these stories, it starts when a beautiful woman walks into Muktuk's office, er hut, and employs him to save her dying son. Which leads to him having to descend to the lowest depths and loftiest peaks of the spirit world to unravel a mystery. It's a lot of fun with the absurdist topic and yet it's a well-written mystery too. Though the shaman names are a little too goofy really. (4/5)
Nathan Sorry: On 9/10/01 the eponymous character doesn't get on a plane from Phoenix to New York and that saves him from dying in the World Trade Center. But the world thinks he's dead and he has a briefcase with access to $20 million. So he goes into hiding in North Carolina. A lot of questions are left unresolved in this and I don't really care enough to read more. (2.5/5)
Snow: One word to describe this: depressing. A woman named Dana (who is 32 but is drawn to look about 10) in Toronto's West Queen St area is losing her job at a bookstore, witnesses a murder, and witnesses domestic abuse (twice). She can't stop the abuse or solve the murder. The end. Um...yay? Yeesh, what a bummer. I guess the idea was kind of a female Canadian version of American Splendor (which I only know of from watching the movie) and on that level I think it pretty much succeeds in bringing a relatively ordinary person to life, though I'm pretty sure the American Splendor guy didn't witness murders. (3/5)
Squid & Owl: This was weird. It's a bunch of silly poems and stuff about a squid and owl. I'm sure Tony Laplume will think it's clever. I thought it was lame. But it does reference cuttlefish, which I saw in Salt Lake's aquarium. (1/5)
Testament: This is a retelling of Abraham and Lot (or something) but it takes place in the near future when a fascist government is implanting people with chips. Mayhem ensues. It was kind of weird. I never really got into it. Maybe because I'm an atheist. (2.5/5)
Thirty-Six: I remember in Michael Chabon's Kavalier and Clay that at one point the comic book artist Joe Kavalier was going to make a comic book based on Jewish mythology commonly known as Kabbalah. This comic actually does that. Basically it's kind of like the X-Men or that "Heroes" show. It's said there are 36 special people who will rise to use their powers to save the world. Though like with X-Men there are two camps with differing views on that. The Xavier group wants to pretty much just keep things going while the Magneto group wants to use the Leviathan to destroy the world and start over. Overall it was pretty good, though the art is kind of crude-looking; Joe Kavalier would have done it better-had he been real. It might be better if you're Jewish. Obviously I'm not. (3/5)
I've only got 3 left in this bundle, plus a couple more things I've bought and haven't gotten to yet. I probably will at some point. But for now you're caught up!
Monday, November 17, 2014
The Job Hunting Blues
A week ago I was a really popular guy in the labor market. I had three different recruiters pursuing me! And now we're pretty much back to square one. That's how it goes.
Last Monday afternoon I was writing at Arby's when I got a phone call from this accounting temp agency. The annoying thing was then I had to go to FedEx Office and print a bunch of stuff out, which cost like $7.
The next morning I got an email from JC Penney saying my suit was at the mall in Tempe, so the good thing was interview at the temp place was at 3:30. I had time then to pick up the suit, though the pants were too long, so I just wore the jacket with my blue Dockers-type pants.
I went in there and this time wasn't really nervous because I've done these stupid temp agency things before. The lady already gave herself a good excuse not to find me any jobs: I'm not being specific enough! Um, yeah, maybe because I have no money and beggars can't be choosy. But how am I going to find you a job if you aren't super picky about which job you want? Of course if I was being super picky then she'd say there's no jobs for that criteria. I had to fill out a shitload of paperwork, which I'm sure was all a big waste of time.
The next day I'd been playing phone tag with this lady from some college. She finally got through when I was at Starbucks writing. She got really skittish by I guess my talking louder. I mean she just asked me two questions and then was like, "Well, um, that's all the questions I had." Really? You wanted to call me to ask two piddly questions? Then the next day I got a form email saying I wasn't being considered anymore. If someone talking on a cell phone at Starbucks rattles you that much, maybe you're in the wrong profession.
There was some guy from another accounting temp firm who sent me an email that started off, "Hi Amanda." And I'm like, "Amanda?" His excuse: My Indeed profile must be doing something. Uh-huh. That's pretty fucking lame. More likely your mail-merge fucked up.
I saw the Staples across from my motel was hiring so I sent them an application too. I haven't heard anything back.
Anyway, hunting for a job sucks, but does it suck as much as trying to get your book published? That's my topic today on Indie Writers Monthly!
Last Monday afternoon I was writing at Arby's when I got a phone call from this accounting temp agency. The annoying thing was then I had to go to FedEx Office and print a bunch of stuff out, which cost like $7.
The next morning I got an email from JC Penney saying my suit was at the mall in Tempe, so the good thing was interview at the temp place was at 3:30. I had time then to pick up the suit, though the pants were too long, so I just wore the jacket with my blue Dockers-type pants.
I went in there and this time wasn't really nervous because I've done these stupid temp agency things before. The lady already gave herself a good excuse not to find me any jobs: I'm not being specific enough! Um, yeah, maybe because I have no money and beggars can't be choosy. But how am I going to find you a job if you aren't super picky about which job you want? Of course if I was being super picky then she'd say there's no jobs for that criteria. I had to fill out a shitload of paperwork, which I'm sure was all a big waste of time.
The next day I'd been playing phone tag with this lady from some college. She finally got through when I was at Starbucks writing. She got really skittish by I guess my talking louder. I mean she just asked me two questions and then was like, "Well, um, that's all the questions I had." Really? You wanted to call me to ask two piddly questions? Then the next day I got a form email saying I wasn't being considered anymore. If someone talking on a cell phone at Starbucks rattles you that much, maybe you're in the wrong profession.
There was some guy from another accounting temp firm who sent me an email that started off, "Hi Amanda." And I'm like, "Amanda?" His excuse: My Indeed profile must be doing something. Uh-huh. That's pretty fucking lame. More likely your mail-merge fucked up.
I saw the Staples across from my motel was hiring so I sent them an application too. I haven't heard anything back.
Anyway, hunting for a job sucks, but does it suck as much as trying to get your book published? That's my topic today on Indie Writers Monthly!
Friday, November 14, 2014
Movie Round-Up 11/14/14
I don't have much money right now, so I can't really go watch movies
in the theater. No "Interstellar" or "Big Hero Six" for me. I can't
use my Roku and the Internet isn't all that speedy here so I haven't
been watching Netflix either. But I did manage to catch up on a couple
of movies through Redbox.
A Million Ways to Die in the West: This was Seth MacFarlane's comedic Western that was unfortunately released the end of May when many of the big blockbusters were still playing. Thus it didn't do all that well, not nearly as well as MacFarlane's previous "Ted." Or maybe it was that people just don't want to see Seth MacFarlane unless he's voicing a loudmouthed fat Rhode Island guy or Boston teddy bear.
And watching this movie I'd have to say he's pretty much on par with Justin Timberlake or 50 Cent or Mos Def or one of those other musicians turned actors. I mean it's not as bad as like Paris Hilton or Tara Reid, but when you're co-starring with Charlize Theron and Liam Neeson it's hard not to look outclassed.
Anyway, there are a lot of the crude jokes you'd expect about shit and farts and fucking; I mean it's written by the creator and two main writers of "Family Guy." There were some decent laughs about mustaches and such too. Overall, though, the story is pretty predictable. I mean you know who he's going to end up with and you know the bad guy has to die. I wouldn't put it on the same level as "Blazing Saddles" but it's not bad either. (3/5)
Edge of Tomorrow: or Live, Die, Repeat as they've renamed the DVD release, though in the credits it still uses the original title. I suppose the latter title is a little more memorable. It does seem unusual to rename your movie after it has already been released. They probably should have listened to the focus groups.
The premise is like "Groundhog Day" combined with the HALO video game series or one of those sci-fi shooter games I've never played.. Aliens called "Mimics" (for some reason) have invaded Earth and taken over most of Europe. Humanity mounts a D-Day type invasion, except as Ackbar would say, "It's a Trap!" Tom Cruise is a former ad exec who gets busted down to private and becomes part of the front wave. But when he kills one of the aliens, he gains the alien power to reset the day. Except it only happens when he dies, so he has to die numerous times trying to fix things.
There's kind of video game logic to the plot as there's the easy tutorial levels where Tom Cruise trains with a female soldier (Emily Blunt) who has gone through what he has only in another battle. Then there's the tougher levels to get off the beach. Finally you have the big Boss level fight. Though unlike "The Matrix Reloaded" for instance it doesn't actually feel like a video game.
Overall I really liked it. There was a lot of sci-fi action and I'm a sucker for robot suits. There was some humor, especially early on when he's first trying to figure out what's going on and when he's training. The romance was a little lacking, but not nonexistent. Although the Happily Ever After twist didn't necessarily make a lot of sense. On a side note, Bill Paxton looked in better shape for this than in "Agents of SHIELD" last season when he seemed kind of chubby. I'm just saying. (3.5/5)
BTW, there was a preview for "Into the Storm" before the movie. They showed a storm chasing car and I was like, "Hey I saw something like that!" It was driving in Tucson on my way here to Scottsdale:
I was wondering what the hell that was. I thought maybe it was someone preparing for the zombie apocalypse.
BTW, through Sunday you can get two books for FREE.
One is the Tales of the Scarlet Knight comic I've offered free numerous times before. I just like to keep getting that out there. Really I should have printed that out and given it away to comic book stores along my journey. Not that it'd do any good. Anyway, it's only like 12 pages long so if you have a tablet or whatever you can read it. It'd be nice if someone other than Tony Laplume ever gave it a review--preferably a good one.
Also free is one of my many Eric Filler erotica books: Transformed Into a Bimbo (Transformed #9) Classy title, wouldn't you say? Like all of these books there are two stories. The first story is about a scientist who is making an anti-aging drug called FY-1978, which has the trade name Yunagin. When someone breaks into the lab he gets doused with it and wakes up as a hermaphrodite and then finds himself getting girlier and girlier, until as you might guess, he starts to become a bimbo.
The second story is a pared-down version of Chance of a Lifetime. A private eye gets tipped to a robbery at the Yunagin Clinic and like the scientist in the first story ends up being doused with the drug. He's left for dead by some bad guys and wakes up as a really hot blond chick, basically the chick on the cover. She, with the help of a paramedic who finds her and then befriends her, goes to take revenge on the bad guys. It'd be nice to get some (good) reviews of that too, though it's longer than 12 pages.
Both stories in the Transformed Into a Bimbo (Transformed #9) are related and the drug is the same one in Chance of a Lifetime, so there you go. It already made it to #2 on the Amazon Transgender Erotica category (free), though it couldn't unseat Gender Swap at the Strip Club for #1 in the US and UK.
Download both books free today or pay $1.99/$2.99 after Sunday.
A Million Ways to Die in the West: This was Seth MacFarlane's comedic Western that was unfortunately released the end of May when many of the big blockbusters were still playing. Thus it didn't do all that well, not nearly as well as MacFarlane's previous "Ted." Or maybe it was that people just don't want to see Seth MacFarlane unless he's voicing a loudmouthed fat Rhode Island guy or Boston teddy bear.
And watching this movie I'd have to say he's pretty much on par with Justin Timberlake or 50 Cent or Mos Def or one of those other musicians turned actors. I mean it's not as bad as like Paris Hilton or Tara Reid, but when you're co-starring with Charlize Theron and Liam Neeson it's hard not to look outclassed.
Anyway, there are a lot of the crude jokes you'd expect about shit and farts and fucking; I mean it's written by the creator and two main writers of "Family Guy." There were some decent laughs about mustaches and such too. Overall, though, the story is pretty predictable. I mean you know who he's going to end up with and you know the bad guy has to die. I wouldn't put it on the same level as "Blazing Saddles" but it's not bad either. (3/5)
Edge of Tomorrow: or Live, Die, Repeat as they've renamed the DVD release, though in the credits it still uses the original title. I suppose the latter title is a little more memorable. It does seem unusual to rename your movie after it has already been released. They probably should have listened to the focus groups.
The premise is like "Groundhog Day" combined with the HALO video game series or one of those sci-fi shooter games I've never played.. Aliens called "Mimics" (for some reason) have invaded Earth and taken over most of Europe. Humanity mounts a D-Day type invasion, except as Ackbar would say, "It's a Trap!" Tom Cruise is a former ad exec who gets busted down to private and becomes part of the front wave. But when he kills one of the aliens, he gains the alien power to reset the day. Except it only happens when he dies, so he has to die numerous times trying to fix things.
There's kind of video game logic to the plot as there's the easy tutorial levels where Tom Cruise trains with a female soldier (Emily Blunt) who has gone through what he has only in another battle. Then there's the tougher levels to get off the beach. Finally you have the big Boss level fight. Though unlike "The Matrix Reloaded" for instance it doesn't actually feel like a video game.
Overall I really liked it. There was a lot of sci-fi action and I'm a sucker for robot suits. There was some humor, especially early on when he's first trying to figure out what's going on and when he's training. The romance was a little lacking, but not nonexistent. Although the Happily Ever After twist didn't necessarily make a lot of sense. On a side note, Bill Paxton looked in better shape for this than in "Agents of SHIELD" last season when he seemed kind of chubby. I'm just saying. (3.5/5)
BTW, there was a preview for "Into the Storm" before the movie. They showed a storm chasing car and I was like, "Hey I saw something like that!" It was driving in Tucson on my way here to Scottsdale:
 |
| On the right you can kinda see the front |
BTW, through Sunday you can get two books for FREE.
One is the Tales of the Scarlet Knight comic I've offered free numerous times before. I just like to keep getting that out there. Really I should have printed that out and given it away to comic book stores along my journey. Not that it'd do any good. Anyway, it's only like 12 pages long so if you have a tablet or whatever you can read it. It'd be nice if someone other than Tony Laplume ever gave it a review--preferably a good one.
Also free is one of my many Eric Filler erotica books: Transformed Into a Bimbo (Transformed #9) Classy title, wouldn't you say? Like all of these books there are two stories. The first story is about a scientist who is making an anti-aging drug called FY-1978, which has the trade name Yunagin. When someone breaks into the lab he gets doused with it and wakes up as a hermaphrodite and then finds himself getting girlier and girlier, until as you might guess, he starts to become a bimbo.
The second story is a pared-down version of Chance of a Lifetime. A private eye gets tipped to a robbery at the Yunagin Clinic and like the scientist in the first story ends up being doused with the drug. He's left for dead by some bad guys and wakes up as a really hot blond chick, basically the chick on the cover. She, with the help of a paramedic who finds her and then befriends her, goes to take revenge on the bad guys. It'd be nice to get some (good) reviews of that too, though it's longer than 12 pages.
Both stories in the Transformed Into a Bimbo (Transformed #9) are related and the drug is the same one in Chance of a Lifetime, so there you go. It already made it to #2 on the Amazon Transgender Erotica category (free), though it couldn't unseat Gender Swap at the Strip Club for #1 in the US and UK.
Download both books free today or pay $1.99/$2.99 after Sunday.
Monday, November 10, 2014
Grammar Pro Tip
Sunday, just out of boredom because the Bears-Packers game was a total blowout, I got to reading the Girl Power Omnibus, which I published a couple of weeks ago to try extracting more money from an unsuspecting public.
Anyway, I'm only 7% in (which doesn't seem like much but this is 3 novels plus a book of short stories) but I noticed one of those little grammar quirks that sometimes occur to me. Maybe a sentence like this looks right to you:
After fifteen years, it's become tiresome.
But I realized the contraction could be confusing. It should say:
After fifteen years, it HAS become tiresome.
But you could misinterpret it as:
After fifteen years, it IS become tiresome.
So it's the kind of thing I decide to go in and try to correct whenever possible. I'm sure I do it all the time in books, at least present tense ones. I actually noticed this problem in some of my erotica books, which is probably why I was looking for it now.
Anyway, there's a pro tip on grammar for you. Free of charge!
 |
| Buy my book! Buy my book! |
Anyway, I'm only 7% in (which doesn't seem like much but this is 3 novels plus a book of short stories) but I noticed one of those little grammar quirks that sometimes occur to me. Maybe a sentence like this looks right to you:
After fifteen years, it's become tiresome.
But I realized the contraction could be confusing. It should say:
After fifteen years, it HAS become tiresome.
But you could misinterpret it as:
After fifteen years, it IS become tiresome.
So it's the kind of thing I decide to go in and try to correct whenever possible. I'm sure I do it all the time in books, at least present tense ones. I actually noticed this problem in some of my erotica books, which is probably why I was looking for it now.
Anyway, there's a pro tip on grammar for you. Free of charge!
Friday, November 7, 2014
A Small Favor
Anyway, if you reviewed the original version of A Hero's Journey (Tales of the Scarlet Knight #1) published by Solstice Publishing in 2012
Could you copy your review over to the newer version, published by Planet 99 Publishing (ie me)?
There are only two reviews on the new version and one is from someone who gave it two stars because Emma doesn't has all the superpowers. I mean I guess augmented strength/speed, a sword that cuts through everything (and is controlled by her mind), bulletproof armor, and invisibility just aren't enough fucking powers; she needs to have X-ray vision or whatever too.
Anyway, if you could do that it'd make my day. Thanks.
Monday, November 3, 2014
Grumpy Bulldog Does America Epilogue
I think by now I've covered almost every square inch of New Mexico. Or at least it feels that way. I left the dump in Roswell by 9 and stopped to get gas and then breakfast at McDonald's. I don't know if the motel was still serving breakfast but I wouldn't have trusted it.
Then like when I went from Tucumcari to Roswell it was a lot of rural highways. Making it even better it was raining most of the time. And hey, more mountains! Hooray. I stopped at some truck stop to piss and bought a Rocky Road candy bar. It's mostly marshmallow covered in chocolate with some nuts inbetween. It was OK but not really worth $1.29.
The highway went up through Alamogordo and then to White Sands. I stopped at the White Sands Memorial but didn't feel like actually getting out of the car. So I just took pictures of some of the dunes. Gee, I hope when I turn off the light I don't start to glow.
Then I went past the White Sands Missile Range. There's actually a sign in Alamogordo that says if the lights are blinking you have to stop for an hour, presumably because they're blowing shit up on the range and don't want a stray missile to vaporize your car.
The road wound through a mountain, then down into Las Cruces. I stopped for lunch at a Chinese place, which only had one waitress working and was being slowly flooded. I had to use the bathroom and while I was in there, twice someone tried to open the door. They didn't bother to knock, they just yanked on the handle twice. The second time I called out, "Why don't you knock?" I mean really, if the bathroom door is closed and it doesn't open on the first try, why don't you knock on the fucking door instead of trying to open it again?
Anyway, once I got on I-10 it started raining harder for a while. It was weird in that it was raining harder and yet getting brighter. Finally it stopped raining and I could go the rest of the way to Lordsburg. Which really Lordsburg is a couple of motels, a gas station, a McDonald's and that's about it. Which is fine with me as I'm just staying overnight. The outside of the Best Western here is like one of those old motor courts, but they refurbished it inside, so it's not bad. The toilet is actually anchored to the floor and doesn't make a horrible noise after flushing, which is a step up.
I hadn't taken a shower in a few days because the shower at that dump in Roswell was disgusting. So that was about the first thing I did here. Eventually when the sun was going down I went out by the fence here to take some pictures. Then I stepped back from a curb and tripped over a rut. I scraped up my right leg a little bit, though not too bad. I was more worried about the camera (although I have a backup) but it's still working.
Still I went to the Dollar General in town here and bought a box of larger bandages that can fit better than the little tiny ones I had in my bag. And I got a tape measure to take a half-assed measurement to order a suit.
I ordered a suit from JC Penney because it was cheaper than other sites and I could have it sent to a store in Tempe to pick up--which was the closest to Scottsdale apparently. BTW, they sent me an email today saying I didn't get that job. That's like when a publisher sends you an email six months later saying they aren't going to publish your book. It's like, well duh, I kinda already figured that one out.
I got dinner at McDonald's. I only had $7 in cash so I got a 2 cheeseburger combo, which is the cheapest. For some reason they gave me 3 cheeseburgers, so bonus. Plus I won a medium fry from one of the Monopoly pieces. Woo hoo. I have a little over $2 in cash, which I suppose with my free medium fry can buy me lunch tomorrow.
Here are the pictures:
Tomorrow is just going back up I-10 to Phoenix, which means more mountains and stuff. Huzzah.
Then like when I went from Tucumcari to Roswell it was a lot of rural highways. Making it even better it was raining most of the time. And hey, more mountains! Hooray. I stopped at some truck stop to piss and bought a Rocky Road candy bar. It's mostly marshmallow covered in chocolate with some nuts inbetween. It was OK but not really worth $1.29.
The highway went up through Alamogordo and then to White Sands. I stopped at the White Sands Memorial but didn't feel like actually getting out of the car. So I just took pictures of some of the dunes. Gee, I hope when I turn off the light I don't start to glow.
Then I went past the White Sands Missile Range. There's actually a sign in Alamogordo that says if the lights are blinking you have to stop for an hour, presumably because they're blowing shit up on the range and don't want a stray missile to vaporize your car.
The road wound through a mountain, then down into Las Cruces. I stopped for lunch at a Chinese place, which only had one waitress working and was being slowly flooded. I had to use the bathroom and while I was in there, twice someone tried to open the door. They didn't bother to knock, they just yanked on the handle twice. The second time I called out, "Why don't you knock?" I mean really, if the bathroom door is closed and it doesn't open on the first try, why don't you knock on the fucking door instead of trying to open it again?
Anyway, once I got on I-10 it started raining harder for a while. It was weird in that it was raining harder and yet getting brighter. Finally it stopped raining and I could go the rest of the way to Lordsburg. Which really Lordsburg is a couple of motels, a gas station, a McDonald's and that's about it. Which is fine with me as I'm just staying overnight. The outside of the Best Western here is like one of those old motor courts, but they refurbished it inside, so it's not bad. The toilet is actually anchored to the floor and doesn't make a horrible noise after flushing, which is a step up.
I hadn't taken a shower in a few days because the shower at that dump in Roswell was disgusting. So that was about the first thing I did here. Eventually when the sun was going down I went out by the fence here to take some pictures. Then I stepped back from a curb and tripped over a rut. I scraped up my right leg a little bit, though not too bad. I was more worried about the camera (although I have a backup) but it's still working.
Still I went to the Dollar General in town here and bought a box of larger bandages that can fit better than the little tiny ones I had in my bag. And I got a tape measure to take a half-assed measurement to order a suit.
I ordered a suit from JC Penney because it was cheaper than other sites and I could have it sent to a store in Tempe to pick up--which was the closest to Scottsdale apparently. BTW, they sent me an email today saying I didn't get that job. That's like when a publisher sends you an email six months later saying they aren't going to publish your book. It's like, well duh, I kinda already figured that one out.
I got dinner at McDonald's. I only had $7 in cash so I got a 2 cheeseburger combo, which is the cheapest. For some reason they gave me 3 cheeseburgers, so bonus. Plus I won a medium fry from one of the Monopoly pieces. Woo hoo. I have a little over $2 in cash, which I suppose with my free medium fry can buy me lunch tomorrow.
Here are the pictures:
Tomorrow is just going back up I-10 to Phoenix, which means more mountains and stuff. Huzzah.
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