Friday, June 2, 2017

A Far More Epic Old Man Logan Movie Idea

Wednesday I posted a review of Logan and compared it to the comic book series Old Man Logan.  While Logan was a decent movie it's a lot less epic than OML.  The problem with OML is that it includes a lot of characters not owned by Fox, so I was trying to think of how to do a much bigger story with characters Fox owns.

First off, I like the comic book version of Wolverine having a farm and a wife and kids.  It humanizes him more than being a chauffeur who occasionally slaughters people trying to steal his limo.  And the vow of nonviolence (or at least not popping his claws) is another good part of that so I'd retain that too.

For background lets say it's 30 years or so after The Wolverine.  All of the X-Men are dead (presumably) and an entity called Onslaught has taken over America and split it among a Brotherhood of Mutants.  Since we don't have the Hulk, I thought Sabretooth would make a good landlord for Wolverine but we've already killed him twice so then I was thinking maybe it could be clones of Sabretooth to take the place of the Hulk's redneck kids. You could use the Reavers or whatever if you want.

Anyway, the rent is coming due and Wolverine needs money.  Then one day a car shows up and behind the wheel is none other than Wade Wilson, aka Deadpool.  Wade needs someone to help him take some McGuffin to resistance elements in NYC and he'll pay Wolverine the money he needs to go along.  Reluctantly Logan agrees to do it.

(One thing I liked about the movie is the idea of Logan slowly being killed by the adamantium so he's old and sick and his healing factor isn't as good.  I thought of applying the same to Deadpool, only maybe for different reasons.  Still the result would be the same that he's older looking and can't heal as fast as before.)

So off they go.  In the comic there were places like "Hammer Falls" and "Pym Falls" to represent where heroes had died.  Instead of Thor and Giant-Man (owned by Marvel) we could use X-Men characters.  Like you could have a Midwestern area that's all barren and fucked up called Storm Falls from where Storm died.  A bad guy would control that (whatever random X-Men villain) and there would be a close call or something.  Another place would be ruled by Mystique who like Logan and Wade is slowly dying and losing her powers so she would look all messed up, like a jigsaw puzzle of different people she impersonated.  Logan and Wade get captured in her territory but Mystique lets them go for old times' sake.

Along the way too they meet up with Wolverine's clone X-23 who in this would be a woman, not a little girl to sidestep the weirdness of a 10-year-old slaughtering a bunch of dudes.  They're a little skeptical of her but she proves herself in battle and comes with them to NYC.

They finally get to NYC which is all fucked up with buildings twisted like pretzels and stuff because it's where Magneto and some of the X-Men made their final stand.  They go to meet the resistance but it's a trap!  Wade heroically sacrifices himself (with appropriate quips) so Logan and X-23 can escape.

Logan is going to go home, but X-23 convinces him they should go to Washington and end Onslaught once and for all.  So they do but when they get there it turns out to be another trap!  X-23 is actually working for Onslaught.  Logan is taken to Onslaught who if you've read the comics is a combination of Xavier and Magneto.  In this case maybe it's just Xavier in a Darth Vader-type suit.  Maybe he went around the bend when humans tried to kill his mutant students one too many times and maybe they killed Moira MacTaggart as well.  The point being like Superman in the Injustice video game he's decided to use his power to take over the world and make it do his bidding.

There's all the usual chitchat where Onslaught reveals he set up the whole resistance plan to flush out those last heroes who might remain.  Bwahahahaha.  But when he's about to kill Logan, who still hasn't popped his claws or anything because at this point he'd welcome death, X-23 decides to go all Darth Vader and attacks Onslaught instead.  When Onslaught fights back and has X-23 at his mercy, Logan finally pops his claws and cuts off Onslaught's damned head.

X-23 wants Logan to stick around to help clean up and rebuild society or whatever, but he says no he has to go home.  For fun maybe he finds the old Blackbird-type plane to fly (or crash) back near his farm.  When he gets his farm he finds his family slaughtered by the Sabretooth gang or whatever.  So Logan tracks them down and slaughters them back.  He visits his family one last time and then heads out into the wilderness, riding off into the sunset.

The End...except maybe in a cookie scene we show Wade pulling himself back together and shambling off into the unknown.

Isn't that a lot more epic?  And sticks closer to the source material, though obviously a lot of changes had to be made with the licensing shit.  I thought initially to use Apocalypse but obviously they already used him as a bad guy so then I saw Comixology had a sale on the Onslaught comics and that seemed like a good direction to go, though maybe people would have a problem with making Patrick Stewart a villain.

Sure this will never get made and it'd cost $250M or more and it might be 5 hours long, but I think it'd be better.

1 comment:

  1. That would have been good. Logan wasn't really Old Man Logan at all. More just a continuation of the Wolverine movie series. I wish they hadn't even ​brought up​ the miniseries.

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