Being Wrong Without Being Wrong

Being right is usually great, but sometimes being right causes more trouble than it’s worth—especially on the Internet.

Looking back, being right has caused a lot of headaches on the Internet.  In the end, is it worth it to be right?  Probably not.

It all started back in 1996 on the Transformers newsgroup.  A poster named HooksX and a poster named Qweena were arguing back-and-forth and I said they should both shut up because no one cares.  Was I right?  Hell yes!  They were annoying and taking up space that could have been put to better use.  Better meaning just about anything.

Of course this was before I really understood that Internet forums of any stripe pretty much thrive on flame wars.  So you can blame inexperience for stepping on this particular hornet’s nest.

Even though I was right, HooksX took it personally for some reason, despite that I didn’t really say anything about him.  For some reason he singled me out for not apologizing to him later on.  Which, if you want to get me pissed off at you, demand an apology from me when I’m right.  That was not the last time we tussled either.  So if you pro/con it: 

• Pro:  I was right
• Con:  Made a mortal enemy

The same group a year or so later I posted evidence that Optimus Primal was not actually “dead” and returning to the show.  To which people got all up in arms about it.  In this case there was no doubt about it:  I was right.  History bore that out as he did return to the show. 

• Pro:  I was right (demonstrably so)
• Con:  Made more enemies

I didn’t really make mortal enemies in this case, but you know people don’t like being wrong.  Even if I didn’t necessarily go, Neener, neener, told you so! They still don’t like getting shown up.  So when I tussled with HooksX or someone else, who was going to have my back?

There were probably some other incidents on writing groups and stuff after that, but let’s move forward to the last battle I had on writers.net.  Some dork was being a total ass; he made it pretty clear he was just going to post his story and leave.  I had some fun with him by cutting and pasting Jay Greenstein quotes as critiques until he got all pissed about it.  Which wound up getting me tossed from the group (and the group pretty much shutting down) and as I figured, this dude left anyway. 

Was I right to play my little prank?  Meh, maybe not.  But his story sucked so even if I was borrowing words, my sentiment was right. 

• Pro:  I was right that his story sucked and he had no intention of staying
• Con:  Got tossed from writers.net, which turned writers.net into a ghost town (seriously)

Speaking of, a couple of years ago I read Tony Laplume’s Pale Moonlight.  Or I suffered through it is more accurate.  If it had been a print copy I might have thrown it in a fire like Chevy Chase’s wife in Funny Farm urges him to do upon reading his dreadful book.  So in the spirit of “honesty” I gave it one star.  And then had to bear his ill will about it to this day.  If he reads this I’m sure there will be more ill will, but the book sucks.  Sorry.  It’s just a long, dull ramble.  (And while I’m being honest that Monkey Flip one sucks pretty bad too.  Not because it’s about wrestling but because there are no characters, settings, atmosphere, or anything else to make scenes; it reads like a bunch of sports page clippings.  Maybe that was the point?) 

• Pro:  I was right that the book sucked
• Con:  The author holds a grudge

The issue of honesty of course leads into the Andrew Leon Fiasco ™.  Andrew, Sandra Ulbrich Almazan, Briane Pagel, Rusty Webb, and me had worked together on a little magazine thing for a few months.  Shortly after this disbanded—seemingly without hostility—Andrew launched a sneak attack on Sandra by giving her book 1 star with an “honest” review.  And I’m sure he thinks he’s right.  And I still think I’m right that it’s a shitty thing to do to another author you’re acquainted with—see the previous incident.  It’s like if we’re all working in the same office and someone makes a big presentation and I say a bunch of mean shit to sabotage him/her.  Maybe I’m right, but it’s a dick move.  That’s what this was:  a dick move.  And I don’t apologize for opposing that. 

• Pro:  I was right that it was a dick move
• Cons:  I lost a bunch of blog followers

And really as part of the cons, the person I stood up for didn’t really give a shit and didn’t do anything for me in return.  So the regret there is I gave away about 75% of my blog following away for what, the moral high ground that people shouldn’t be assholes to each other?  It’s not a good trade-off.

The thing is, in pretty much all those scenarios I didn’t have to agree with the assholes.  I didn’t have to voice support for HooksX or Andrew Leon or anyone else.  I should have just done what I’d do in real life:  nothing.  I mean, in real life if I see trouble I’m just going to ignore it most of the time.  I see someone getting mugged, you think I’m risking my neck to save that person?  Probably not.  Maybe I’ll try to sneak off and call the cops.

So here’s 22 years of experience talking:  walk the fuck away.  Like this entry.  Maybe you got some disagreement here and want to argue with me.  Walk the fuck away.  Got it?  It’s just not worth it.

But as a final point I will say in all of those instances above, what did I really lose?  I mean, were any of those people really doing anything for me?  They weren’t really helping me to achieve my goals.  The Andrew Leon Fiasco ™ I lost blog followers, some of whom reviewed my books and posted about my books, but did that really matter?  Meh, not really.  And none of them are Vlad Putin having me poisoned or anything—that I know of.  At most these incidents gave me a few headaches and cost me a little sleep.

Still, as fun as it might be at times, it usually ends up not being worth it just to be right.  As I said above, just walk the fuck away.  Life is hard enough without creating obstacles for yourself.

And here's sort of an appropriate song:

I really like this group, BTW.  If you have Amazon Prime you can listen to some of their albums for free.  Maybe it's on Spotify too?  It's pretty funny stuff if you're into geek humor.