Thursday, April 30, 2015

A to Z Challenge 26: Zaftig Girls

I was kind of flummoxed for a Z word.  I mean it's not like I wrote Transformed Into a Zebra...yet.  Or Transformed Into a Zookeeper!  Transformed Into a Zombie!  That has some potential.  Transformed on a Zeppelin! The sky's the limit there...or not.

I was looking up words in the dictionary and came across zaftig, which means fat.  I just so happen to have a book called Transformed Into a Fat Girl.  This was one of my wackier ideas.  I had heard about "chubby chasers" and so thought maybe there'd be some interest in a gender swap book with fat girls.  Yeah, not so much.  Despite that, I think these are two pretty good stories!

The first story was actually the second one I wrote.  I decided since it was shorter to put it first so as not to bore the audience too much.  It's about a male fashion critic during Fashion Week who laments how there's just no hot girls to be had anymore!  A woman asks him about his perfect woman and he describes her only to look in the mirror and see he's become her!

At first he thinks it's really awesome to be a supermodel.  And why not?  He's hot, got an awesome apartment, and a sexy professional baseball player boyfriend.  But the next morning he wakes up carrying a few extra pounds.  The next day it's even worse...and so on.  Sort of like that Stephen King story/movie Thinner--only the opposite.

The second story takes more of a sci-fi tack.  In the near future if you have enough money you can transfer your brain into another body.  An old widower has scrimped and saved to get his brain put into a sexy young body.  Except something goes wrong during the surgery and he ends up waking up as a chubby young woman!  Another chubby young woman helps him to adjust to his new life, but when memories from his new body's past start surfacing, it means that mayhem is about to ensue!  Did you ever see "Idle Hands?"  It's sorta like that, only less Jessica Alba and Seth Green.

Obviously this hasn't done well enough to warrant a sequel.  Erotica buyers are so fucking shallow.

You can buy it for $2.99 on Amazon.

Well, that's the whole show.  Anyone who read all 26 entries (besides me) and still visits this blog is a saint in my book.  Now we can get back to the usual schedule of blogging about...whatever.  It was kind of easier this month since I didn't have to keep thinking of random stuff.  I work better with a theme, as this month should have demonstrated not only with blogs, but also with books.

And for all of you whining about how hard this was, I finished on March 27!  Really, write your entries in advance.  I don't give a shit if some dork says it's "cheating."  It's not cheating; it's smart.  I always write blog entries ahead of time, so why would I stop now?  Duh.  But then not everyone is unemployed and has no family or social life to bother them.  I feel your pain.


  1. A clever way to find a Z for your theme, Pat!

  2. I wrote most of mine ahead time and it's the only way to do it. Not sure who would call it cheating.

  3. Congratulations on finishing A to Z. You're right--preparing ahead is the smart way to go. Unless someone really likes the challenge of writing on the spur of the moment or being really random, writing ahead allows participants a lot more freedom and allows for the unexpected events that life sometimes throws our way.

    Writing ahead is not cheating. In fact it's something that the A to Z organizers always advise.

    Arlee Bird
    A to Z Challenge Co-host
    Tossing It Out



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