Friday, April 3, 2015

A to Z Challenge 3: Cougars

On Adult Swim I used to see commercials for this site called "Cougar Life" that I never visited, but it inspired my idea for Transformed Into a Cougar.  Because, why not?  YOLO and shit.

The idea is that a guy turns into a middle-aged woman.  The first story it's a young guy who disses an older woman at a bar.  She turns out to be an ancient goddess who turns him into her middle-aged wing(wo)man.  They seduce a couple of horny kids but things go awry when the new cougar starts to fall in love with the cub.

The second story features one of the weirder methods for gender swapping.  There's a comet going by and a nerdy kid inadvertently wishes that he could be more like his hot history teacher.  So the next morning he wakes up as the teacher!  It's one of those I started out funny and then it takes dark turns as the kid and teacher get into a war of wishing on the comet before it disappears for another 100 years.

This book wasn't extremely popular but I decided to write a sequel anyway.  Because, why not?  YOLO and shit.  Still.

Though I ran into some trouble publishing it because Amazon didn't (apparently) like the original cover:

So I changed it to this:

I'm not sure that lady is old enough to really be a cougar, but whatever.

The first story of the sequel is about a jerk boss who fires his secretary/mistress because she's getting wrinkly and saggy.  She gives him a potion that turns him into an older woman like her.  The only way he can break the spell is if he cons a guy into marrying him within 2 weeks.  He thinks he finds the perfect guy, but that's where it all goes wrong.

The second story is my infamous "sex vampires" one.  Imagine if instead of a guy in evening clothes who bites you on the neck vampires were really women who suck out your life force by fucking you?  Yeah.  A naive kid at a bar thinks he's in for the time of his life when an older woman picks him up, but of course she's just using him as her latest prey.  Except she's "merciful" and instead of fucking him to death, she lets him live and become a vampire like her.  At first he's a really old woman but after screwing a bum he becomes only middle-aged and then gets shown the art of seduction.  It's kind of a black comedy that's another of those I could probably write into a novel if I felt like it.  I mean, why not?  YOLO and shit.  I think that will be my new motto.

You can buy both books on Amazon for the amazing price of $2.99 apiece!

For fun (for me anyway) here's a cougar and her cub I designed on the Sims 3:


  1. I don't see why Amazon didn't like the first cougar cover?

    1. My only guess was they didn't like the cigarette on the cover. They of course wouldn't (or couldn't) say why.

  2. The older I get the less appealing cougars get...unless it is the University of Houston Cougars then I'm all in.



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