You Can't Please Everyone (Or Anyone)

It's conventional wisdom that you can't please everyone.  Here's that wisdom in book review form!

Exhibit A:

Oh please! These are about as boring as one can get. Nothing, let me repeat, NOTHING in these tales is erotic. What is the point of writing this type of story if the author is not going to try to make it sexually exciting?

Exhibit B:

I almost want to apologize for this review, because I typically enjoy this author's work and feel that he is a cut above the other writers working in this genre. But I found this story terribly unoriginal and felt cheated at the end. The author seems to be getting a little lazy with his most recent stories and I wish he would take more time in developing his characters and fleshing out a story. He doesn't have to keep trying to crank out a book every week because the quality is suffering.

I got a an email similar to Exhibit B complaining that my most recent book wasn't as good because the story wasn't fleshed-out enough, etc., etc.

But as you can see, one person complains that one of my books is boring and not sexually exciting.  So after reading a couple books by different authors I decide, "OK, I'll do a traditional-type story and focus on more sex.  Take that!"  And what happens?  Someone else complains there's not enough story.  This is my life.

The second review was actually more annoying.  The dude just a week earlier called me lazy.  Which if you think about it makes his reviews kind of lazy.  Find a new insult!

Exhibit C:

I must admit to being somewhat let down by this collection of stories. I have been a fan of Eric's work and have purchased numerous books and collections, but in this instance, I feel that the author got lazy, especially with the first story. I have come to expect a twist and payoff at the conclusion of each of his stories, but this left me flat. That said, I feel Eric is a notch above the typical author working in this genre and I will look to his future releases with enthusiasm.

Part of the annoying thing is OK you're such a big fan but you've written 1 positive review and 2 negative ones.  God knows I could use more good reviews (of all my books, not just these ones) so why do you only use reviews to rag on me?

Anyway, am I going to take his comments to heart?  Slow down and focus more on story?  Um, no, probably not.  I hate to break it to this guy, but I need money.  I got to pay rent now, I need food, water, gas for my car, health insurance, etc.  Until I can get a steady 9-to-5 job I need to write books to help put some change in my pocket.  And yeah I need to write books that will actually sell, so quit nagging me because I'm trying to write something people will buy.

And that's the point; a lot of the blame falls on YOU.  Not you personally so much as YOU the general public.  I was watching The Critic on DVD recently and in one episode film critic Jay Sherman earns a Pulitzer by admonishing the public for supporting crap.  The gist of his rant was they won't make crap if you don't buy crap.

I mean think of it this way:  I'd still be writing literary fiction if people had bought Where You Belong.  Or I'd still be writing superhero stories if people had bought the Tales of the Scarlet Knight series.  If my initial gender swap erotica stories hadn't sold, I sure as fuck wouldn't have written 36 of them.  I mean, I'm not that much of a fucking masochist.

By extension, when you only review the books you don't like, you're not really helping.  I mean sure in your mind you're trying to steer people away from a bad book, but you're not steering them towards a good book if all you do is write negative reviews.  Like this guy who keeps saying he loves my other books and yet has only reviews one of them positively.  You love those books so much, why don't you write a goddamned 5-star review?  Then you might help generate more sales for those good books and thus people will buy those books and thus I, with dollar signs in my eyes, will write more of those books.

I mean the way I do this is how a smart big publisher or movie studio works.  If something makes money then I greenlight a sequel.  Transformed Into a Pregnant Girl wasn't one of my favorites, but shit it sold a bunch of copies so I wrote a sequel.  Whereas I liked Transformed Into a Geek Girl and Transformed Into a Fat Girl but they didn't sell, so there ain't no sequels.  That's the Invisible Hand economist Adam Smith talked about.  And in this case, the more traditional book with more sex sold pretty well off the bat, thus the sequel is greenlit.  Your money at work!

Speaking of books, until Wednesday you can get 3 of my books free!  (And a fourth is free through today.)  Two are PT Dilloway books and two are Eric Filler books.

Sisterhood:  This is a prequel of sorts to the Scarlet Knight series.  Think of it kind of like Highlander only with witches instead of sword fights.  Sylvia and Agnes Joubert are born in the 15th Century and because they're witches are basically immortal.  Over 4 centuries their lives take different paths:  Agnes staying home to raise a family and Sylvia struggling to find a place where she fits in.

Awakening (Birth of Magic):  This is an alternate universe from Sisterhood but it also focuses on Agnes and Sylvia, renamed Agatha and Stephanie.  In this story it's the late 1930s and the Nazis are trying to find a way to tap magic for their own purposes.  When an American scientist creates a "magic wand," Stephanie has to protect him from the Nazis.

Transformed Into a MILF (Transformed #8): In "Stacey's Mom," a horny teenage boy gets more than he bargained for when he becomes his friend Stacey's hot mom.  And in "" a Rush Limbaugh-type radio talk show host is kidnapped by a couple of women who send him back in time to the 50s--as his mother!  He starts to realize the good ol' days weren't as good as he thought.

Transformed Into a Cougar Too (Transformed #20):  In "The Hunt" a selfish jerk fires his secretary/mistress because she's getting old.  So she enlists a witch to turn him into a middle-aged woman.  Now he has 2 weeks to get married or he'll be stuck as a woman forever!  And in "The Hunger" a nerdy boy at a nightclub thinks he finds the woman of his dreams, but she takes a lot more than his virginity!  The next morning he wakes up as a woman who has to have sex or else get older and older until he turns to dust!

The Cougar Too one is only free until today but the others are free through Wednesday.  As I always say, even if you don't want to read them, download them anyway to help pump up my sales rank on Amazon.  And be sure not to write a review unless you're some jerk who only wants to nag me for one reason or another.  Boom, full circle!